A Mammoth & Moving Spiritual Experience

primary-program2

Last Sunday I visited my daughter’s ward. The annual primary program was being presented at Sacrament Meeting. Three of my precious grandchildren were on the program.

I literally WEPT the entire meeting. A couple of times my emotions had to be reined in, as I verged on trembling.

Why the cry? The ward has a huge primary. 60 children were at the front of the congregation. They sung their songs. Recited their lines. Some squirmed. Some monkeyed. All were beautiful and cute. But, my attention was soon diverted by haunting questions.

Tears for the Rainbow

Among these 60 innocent, lovely and dear children…….how many are gay?

Is it 3? Is it 4? Or is it more?

What do they face in the coming years in MY church, the church of the gentle Jesus?

What of their coming teenage years? Will their self-esteem be destroyed? Only to be recovered after years of pain? To be reclaimed only after leaving the beloved church of their youth?

Will their family disown them?

Will their friends turn away?

In the past, my church has not been gay friendly. Even less so this past year.

Oh, that I could know who the gay children were. That they might be spared the fate of so many gay children who have gone before. What problems, what pain, what agonies await? Yes, I sobbed!

Then I heard the spirit of Jesus whisper, “Sam, keep that rainbow on your lapel. It will touch my little ones. Likely, they won’t remember you. But, they won’t forget the image of the ribbon you wear. When the time comes, they’ll take comfort that someone in MY church cares.”

Tears for Safety

I thought about their parents.

Which children have parents who are struggling in the lonely silence of questions and doubt?

These innocent children have no concept of the pain their questioning parents will suffer…alone. The children feel safe at church. How could they possibly comprehend that their parents could feel unsafe?

Which are the children whose parents will agonize and finally leave? Making that choice without any consultation with their active member friends?

Which of these little ones will be gone in 6 months? In a year? In ten years?

If current trends continue, at least 60% will eventually depart. 60% will be gone? Why, oh why? These tender children of today, gone tomorrow.

Oh, that a safe place existed for their parents. A safe place, before their parents made their fateful choice to pull out and pull out their children with them. Yes, I sobbed!

Then I heard the spirit of Jesus whisper, “Sam, keep pressing forward to make a safe place inside my church. It’s MY church, Sam. Soon there WILL BE a safe and loving spot for discussion & deliberation. My apostles are now openly addressing this in public. But, sometimes nudges from my sheep are necessary. You are on the right track. Please don’t stop working for it.”

This sacrament meeting, filled with the voices of innocent children, will be recorded as one of the most precious spiritual experiences of my 63 year journey through life.

Marginalized Mormons in “Extreme Slavery”

slavery

At the age of 63, I have finally selected a path that is built on a rock solid foundation. I’ve decided to place my faith in Jesus Christ, specifically in His teachings and example. Furthermore, I have also chosen to follow Christ as a member of the Mormon Church.

The Least

One of His most beautiful instructions is that we are to be vitally concerned with “the least of these.” The marginalized. The vulnerable. The undefended, the unguarded, and the unprotected. Not just concerned. Rather, Jesus made it clear that entry into heaven will ONLY be granted to those who actively take care of “the least.”

Frequently, we pass them by. Often, we don’t even see them. Never-the-less, “the least of these” are all around us in society. For the purpose of this article, they also surround us in our very own LDS Church.

Who Are the Marginalized Mormons?

To follow Christ’s mandate, it’s certainly appropriate that we start with our own ‘fellow citizens in the household of God.’ We, as Saints, should minister to marginalized members. Various categories of ‘the least’ are listed below. Of course, this is not a comprehensive compilation. It includes those who many of us are concerned about at present.

Those in Extreme Slavery. Details below.

Our LGBT brothers and sisters.

Children of LGBT married couples.

Families headed by single parents, especially by single mothers.

Members with questions, doubts and transitioned faith.

Are LDS Men Marginalized?

Let me ask 2 questions.

Would you consider those in SLAVERY to be marginalized?

Would you consider those in EXTREME SLAVERY to be marginalized?

Hopefully, most would answer YES to both queries.

SLAVERY? I don’t know anyone in this condition. But, I would put them squarely in the category of “the least of these.”

SLAVERY in the EXTREME? What is that? Who are they? It turns out that I know many, many men in this unfortunate state. Today, I view them as marginalized in the EXTREME.

So, who among us are bound by the fetters of EXTREME SLAVERY?

Consider this citation from an early and official church publication—The Millennial Star. Many ascribe this quote directly to Joseph Smith.

“We have heard men who hold the priesthood remark that they would do anything they were told to do by those who preside over them — even if they knew it was wrong. But such obedience as this is worse than folly to us. It is slavery in the extreme. The man who would thus willingly degrade himself should not claim a rank among intelligent beings until he turns from his folly. A man of God would despise this idea.”

Do you know anyone in Extreme Slavery? Members who would do anything their leaders tell them to do—even if they knew it was wrong?

Early church doctrine designated such obedience as degrading. IT IS!!!

“A man of God would despise this idea.” I don’t qualify as a ‘man of God.’ But, I do despise the idea of doing anything I am told, even if it’s wrong. Thus, I claim my rank among intelligent beings.

Based on this early church definition of “slavery in the extreme” there are myriad members who are marginalized by being in this ‘degraded’ condition.

Ministering to the Marginalized

The list of “the least of these” within the church continues to grow. Many of us have been actively speaking and looking out for those in categories 2-5. Now, I add category #1—those in EXTREME slavery. Likely the biggest marginalized group that surrounds us at church. One more parcel of people to stand up for with our votes of disapproval.

The Man Who Voted Opposed

General Conference

Every six months, the LDS (Mormon) Church holds a much anticipated General Conference. All around the world, members tune in to watch and listen to the pronouncements of their highest leaders. Tens of thousands travel to Salt Lake City to witness the proceedings in person.

The Conference is composed of 6 two-hour meetings. A cherished part of the Saturday afternoon session is the Sustaining of Officers. The names and positions of the General Authorities are presented to the membership. An up or down vote is called for. Members may sustain, abstain, or oppose.

Almost always, the voting appears unanimous. However, this trend is changing. At the October 2015 and April 2016 conferences, opposed votes were clearly registered in the confines of the Conference Center. The numbers were few. But the votes of disapproval were noted by the leadership and all who were viewing.

October 2016

This fall Conference was historic by modern standards. The sustainings were conducted on Oct 1^st. The tally: sustain–almost all. Opposed–267!!! You can see their names HERE. This is a huge number. I and my wife were 2 of the 267.

Going against the consensus is NOT easy. There are hundreds of thousands of members–including many less active members–who would like to vote opposed. However, there is fear associated with negative voting. Our current LDS culture stigmatizes honest and open disagreement, especially in a Conference setting. This must change. It was Jesus Himself who mandated that “ALL things MUST be done by common consent.” It’s His church. Eventually, the stigma against following His directives in His own church is going to disappear.

The Lone Man…Adam

Out of the intrepid 267, only one person actually cast his opposing vote in the Conference Center itself on October 1, 2016. This article is written to tell his miraculous story. For the time being, I’ll call him Adam.

Adam is a faithful, believing member. He currently serves as a counselor in his bishopric. Like many in the church, he has had concerns in recent years regarding the church’s treatment of LGBT people and its involvement in political contests regarding LGBT issues. When the November 2015 anti-gay policy came to light, he was mortified. Vehemently opposed, he discussed it with his Bishop and Stake President. They counseled him to pray and “gain a testimony” of its divine origin as a revelation, despite the fact that it has never been presented to the membership for ratification as such.

By the time October Conference had arrived, Adam’s own conscience–as well as what he felt to be the promptings of the Holy Ghost–drove him to the decision to vote opposed in person. He was unsuccessful in obtaining a ticket prior to leaving home. Undaunted, he hugged and kissed his loving and supportive wife, jumped in his car and drove many hours, crossing multiple state lines to Salt Lake City. No ticket. Only hope and a prayer. During his long drive, Adam prayed. He asked Heavenly Father that if it were His will that he should follow his conscience and express an opposing vote in the Conference Center, that an admission ticket would somehow be provided.

Outside the Conference Center, he observed many people asking others if they had spare tickets. Adam even ventured a few inquiries. It soon became evident that this method was doomed to failure. He was directed to the standby line. Hundreds were ahead of him. He offered another prayer. “If it’s Thy will that I vote opposed, please provide a way in.”

Time was passing. Hope was fading. The long line discouraging.

The Miracle

Then it happened. A young woman approached. Hand extended, she asked, “Would you like a ticket?” With hundreds waiting in hopes of getting in, the mystery matron picked Adam. He counted it as an answer to prayer. A sign that God was sustaining him and his un-sustaining vote. A Miracle.

The Vote

Adam was seated. The session was about to start. This humble and considerate man gently tapped the person in front of him. He quietly informed all seated around him of his plans to voice an opposing vote. No one seemed alarmed. Rather, the advance notice was received with appreciation and kindness.

President Eyring conducted the sustainings. Adam voted disapproval 3 times: to the First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and to their being sustained as prophets, seers and revelators. His was the lone voice that echoed throughout the Conference Center. In front of 22,000 other attendees. In front of millions, the world over. As he did so, he felt come over him a great feeling of love for those 15 men and a great feeling of sorrow for the situation that had led to that heartbreaking circumstance.

But Adam was not really alone. Remotely, 266 others joined him that day. Modern history was made.

Adam, my friend, my hat is off to you. I commend you for your integrity and courage.

Opposed to What?

Adam–and most of those voting with him–are NOT opposed to the prophet and apostles, per se. We understand that, just as in other types of elections, once the results are tabulated, every participant–the yeas and the nays–can and do sustain in good faith those who receive the sustaining vote of the people, according to the Law of Common Consent.

Adam is not opposed to the church. He’s not opposed to the Restoration. He’s not opposed to the leadership. In fact, he loves the church with all his heart. He loves and respects the leadership. He made an exhausting, weekend-long drive with only a slim hope of being admitted to Conference. A poignant demonstration of his love and commitment to the church, Jesus, and a marginalized community.

What he IS opposed to–vehemently so–is a policy. The November 2015 policy labeling gay couples as apostates and excluding their children from Priesthood ordinances.

According to church doctrine and by divine mandate (D&C 28:13), “policies, major decisions and other things that affect the lives of the Saints” must be accepted by the Common Consent of the membership.

In today’s church, NO “policies, major decisions and other things that affect the lives of the Saints” are being presented to the church body for approval or disapproval. For members committed to living by the Law of Common Consent, the only option appears to be voting opposed to those who control the voting practices.

Consequences

Adam has concerns that actions may be taken against him. He’s concerned that he may be released from his calling. It’s ludicrous that any punitive consequences could even be a consideration. Jesus has commanded the apostles to ask the members for their opinion. An honest answer deserves commendation not condemnation. His local leaders’ responsibility is to listen and pass his concerns up the line. Not to listen, pass judgment and punish him back in line.

But, Mormon culture may not be there yet. Our church needs more faithful, serving, believing Saints just like dear Adam.

Are You Opposed?

If you are a member of the LDS church. If you are opposed to “policies, major decisions and other things that affect the lives of the Saints,” especially, policies that have never seen the light of Common Consent, then consider voting your true opinion and feelings.

Make next April another historic conference. By then we WILL be more than 267. Can we be….2,067? Or….20,067? Or….?

Common Consent is the Law of God and the Law of the Church. It’s up to you and me, the common members, to make Common Consent the common rule of Christ’s church.

You have a voice. Please don’t leave without speaking up. Stand up for what is right. Speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves.

Take the step of publicly registering your disapproval on the Register of Common Consent, HERE.

Other Resources

Information on LDS.ORG regarding Common Consent, click HERE. Please take note of this paragraph: “Not only are Church officers sustained by common consent, but this same principle operates for policies, major decisions, acceptance of new scripture, and other things that affect the lives of the Saints.”
Scriptural information about Common Consent, click HERE.
Disturbing membership Trends, click HERE.
Do We Love Jesus Enough?, click HERE.
The Only True Hope for The Only True Church, click HERE.
My personal sadness over my friends and family leaving, click HERE
Common Consent Register—A Record of Those Who Disapprove click, HERE.

Champion of Discord

justice

Yep. That’s me. At least, that’s how some are referring to me.

Champion of discord? Nope. The discord in my beloved church is already there and growing. It’s just kept hidden and lonely. In painful isolation. Who created the discord? Not me. For the source, you have to look much higher up the leadership ladder.

What Kind of Champion do I Really Want to Be

1) A CHAMPION for discussing discord. Dismissing, disallowing, & demonizing discord only drives people away. Our culture forbids discussing discord out in the open. How weak the position of the church must be if discussing our discord is forbidden. How weak testimonies must be! The best way to bring accord out of discord is to discuss. Demanding and dictating accord does not work and is not God’s way.

2) A CHAMPION for keeping temple covenants, specifically the covenant to obey God’s Law.

3) A CHAMPION for Christ’s clear and straightforward Law of common consent. Today in conference, Elder Ballard encouraged, “Never abandon the truths revealed through Joseph Smith.” Yet, we have abandoned the revelation of common consent. I’ll be it’s Champion.

4) A CHAMPION for my marginalized and vulnerable gay brothers and sisters. In the church of Jesus, “the least of these” have no champions whatsoever. If something is going to be called sad, this is the saddest of them all: we do not champion “the least of these.” For heaven’s sake, this is the gorgeous center of Christ’s gospel and ministry.

5) A CHAMPION for the marginalized truth seekers. Again today, Elder Ballard counseled, “We must never neglect anyone with questions. Treat them like investigators.” Well, guess what? Not only do we neglect those with questions, we marginalize, shun and shut them up. I KNOW this from personal experience. At this point, I’ve seen many leave because they were treated this very way.

Just Wait a Little Longer, Sam

I have been told that I should just sit back and wait. Do nothing. Trust the brethren.

Out of 6 siblings, all have left the church, but me.
How long should I wait? Until my own children leave?

Many good friends have left.
How long should I wait? Until another 100 have left?

All but one of my gay friends have left.
Should I wait until he’s gone? Should I wait until 10 more gay kids come out, get shunned and then watch them & their families leave?
Should I just wait for another child to commit SUICIDE???

70% of members have resigned or are inactive. 80,000 resigned last year.
Should I wait for another 80,000 to resign?

Nope!!! I’m acting on my temple covenants NOW. I’m following Jesus’ Laws NOW.

From January 2015 until now, 22 months in all, I have reached out to quorum, Ward, stake, and general authority leadership. Sharing concerns and ideas of what we could do as a church to stem the tide of exodus. Response: Zip…Nada….Nothing. Twenty-two months of being told: be patient, we’ll look into it, we’ll get back with you, the brethren know what they are doing.

Behold Thy Mother

My brother and his entire family left the church in January 2016. They have a gay son. The November gay policy drove them all out.

Then, two months ago, my mom resigned. This is my MOTHER!!! Oh, behold my MOTHER!!! Heart broken by policies NEVER approved by the consent of the common. Beaten down and driven out of Christ’s church. My church. The church that I love.

Unfortunately, the departure of all my siblings was not enough to kick my butt into action. But, there is no way that I am going to ignore the broken heart of my own dear MOTHER.

So, I am going to CHAMPION obedience of the Law of God, the Law that I promised in the temple to obey. The vital Law of God which He called: The Law of Common Consent. My mother has been bruised, battered, and severely scarred by policies that never would have been accepted if the church was not in disobedience of this indispensable commandment. No longer will I mock God by NOT striving to live up to the promises I have made in his holy house.

Resister of Common Consent–A Record of Those Who Disapprove (click here for link)

If you disapprove of what the church is doing, you have a voice. It was granted by Jesus himself. May we all CHAMPION what we know in our hearts to be right. May we reclaim our God given privilege to approve or disapprove.

Dear Bishop and Stake President…

For those Voting Opposed In LDS General, Stake & Ward Conferences

Policies, major decisions, and other things that affect the lives of the Saints, are MANDATED to be presented for a vote at conferences. Today, this law is not being followed. As a result, I have decided to vote in disapproval (opposed) to the First Presidency and the Twelve Apostles. They are solely responsible, both for the church policies and for the mismanagement of not putting crucial matters up for a vote.

If you are disposed to vote disapproval, I recommend an email communication be sent to your local leaders informing them of your vote. This should be sent around the time of the conference in question. Personally, I think it’s best to vote with our HAND during the conference and then to send the email. However, sending the letter without attending the session, is a perfectly fine and honorable choice.

I also recommend that you sign the Common Consent Register—A Record of Those Who Disapprove.

Email Examples

Following are examples of e-mail communications that can be sent to your local leaders. Feel free to use for ideas, templates or outright copying.

Simple

Dear Bishop_____ & President_______,

At General Conference today, I voted opposed when the First Presidency and the Twelve Apostles were presented. I’m not necessarily opposed to these men serving in their respective callings. However, they have introduced polices of which I firmly disapprove.

I would be happy to discuss details of my concerns with you.

Please register my disapproving vote through whatever channel the church uses with respect to the law of common consent.

The church does much good. I believe it can be much better. Jesus has commanded the church leaders to ask for my opinion 4 times a year. I have prayed, searched and pondered . . . a lot!! For many reasons, I believe and feel that it’s important to my Savior that I give a true and honest opinion when asked.

Thank you for your unselfish service to the Lord and the members in our area. I know that you spend countless hours in your calling.

All My Best to You and Your Family,

Detailed

Dear Bishop_____ & President_______,

In the recent past, a new policy was announced regarding children of married same-sex couples. I disapprove of excluding these children from the blessings of the gospel. Inside my heart, here’s how I’m feeling. The policy damages families, traditional and non. Families have been driven out of the church, both traditional and non. Our gay children have been hurt. There are now reports that the message this policy sends is so hurtful that suicides have resulted. Jesus said that we will be judged on how we treat “the least of these.” Punishing “the least of these” is wrong. We are denying baby blessings, baptism, the Holy Ghost, the priesthood, and the temple to the “the least of these.” That doesn’t square with the teachings and example of the Savior. I don’t believe this is what Jesus would want done in His church.

I would be happy to discuss details of my concerns with you further, if you’d like.

Please register my disapproving vote through whatever channel the church uses with respect to the law of common consent.

Our church does much good. I believe it can be much better. Jesus has commanded the church leaders to ask for my opinion 4 times a year. I have prayed, searched and pondered . . . a lot!! For many reasons, I believe and feel that it’s important to my Savior that I give a true and honest opinion when asked.

Thank you for your unselfish service to the Lord and the members in our area. I know that you spend countless hours in your calling.

All My Best to You and Your Family,

Here’s The Letter I Sent

I didn’t go into detail of the policies I disapprove of, as we have already discussed them at length:

Hi _____ & ______,

Just wanted to let you know that I voted in disapproval during conference this weekend.

I am not actually opposed to the first presidency or the apostles. Since they are not putting up major policies for common consent, my opposition to those polices is expressed when sustaining those who control the process.

My two issues are common consent and the exclusion policy for children of gay couples.

I loved many of the messages at this conference. It’s the best that I can recall. President Monson may be frail, but what a powerful communication he delivered!

I haven’t made a tally, but it seemed like concern over people leaving the church was a common thread. I would prefer that this wasn’t happening. But, it gave me super validation for the path that I’m on.

The work I’m doing can be and frequently is misunderstood. Sharp criticism from both active members and those who have left the church. My entire objective is to help both those in and out.

To those in and are questioning or about to leave? We explore options of finding ways to stay. The problem here is that most people that I talk to have already made the decision to leave. Somehow, we need to find a forum where members can discuss before they’ve already reached their conclusions.

To those who have left? Well, here’s the problem. We are creating an army or enemies. Enemies who know and exploit our many, and uneccessary, weaknesses. Those who have left should be our friends, not our enemies. They seek validation, connection, and healing. These are good people.

Today, there are 12.5 million inactive and former members. Our 5 million active members are vastly outnumbered. 70% of Mormons are either resigned or inactive. And…we keep creating more disaffected, disappointed and disillusioned people for the other side. Not to mention the anger that often accompanies faith transitions.

Yet, I have now witnessed these good, formerly active members respond to love, friendship and understanding. A few weeks ago, a Relief Society president and High Priest group secretary came to the Talkeria. They were looking for suggestions on how they could reach out to those who are questioning or have left. Wow! Also in attendance were 4 resigned or about to resign members. One of the “about to resigns” had been his ward’s HP group leader as recently as last March. Hidden history, doctrine, and current policies pushed him, his wife and his 4 children out. What an amazing discussion we had!!! Our “enemies” helping local leaders of the church in which they no longer believe.

Things have got to change. Our leaders in SLC know it. They are working on it. They’re in a really tough spot. Things actually boil down to what is being done in the trenches. I’m digging trenches as fast as I can.

Thanks for all that both of you are doing in service of the Savior and especially for my friends.

All My Best, Sam

Other Resources

The Only True Hope for the Only True Church

Jesus Pleads His Case for Common Consent

Do We Love Jesus Enough to…

A Resister for Disapproval (Opposition)

LDS Website on Common Consent

Final Note

I know this takes great courage. Every step of the way can be scary. Raising your hand alone, all by yourself? I know it’s scary. I’ve now done it at each conference level this year. Big fat butterflies every time.

Sending an email to the stake president…yeah that can be real scary. But, how scared do you think the gay children are who are still hiding in the pews?

Putting your name on a public register of disapproval…scary? You bet. It scared me, too, when I hit the submit button two days ago.

There are many in our midst who are at risk and cannot speak up. We are standing up, voting out, putting our name on the line for those who cannot fight for themselves.

“May we maintain the courage to defy the consensus. May we ever chose the harder right.” And that’s just what we are doing here. Standing up for the marginalized, for the “least of these,” IS a noble and just cause.

Godspeed. Godspeed. Godspeed.

A Transgender Human Being Makes Her Appearance

Good Samaritan2

Sometimes I struggle with the current path I’ve chosen. I’ve taken shots from both inside and outside of the church. Sometimes I feel like quitting. Giving up my hopeless crappy quest.

Then a strike of lightning! Thundering directly into my heart. Raining tears from my eyes.

I have many gay friends and family. But, that I know of, I have never met a transgender person. After reading the Church’s apology “You’re not Broken–I’m Sorry,” she sought me out and sent this touching message.

“Thank you so much for the heartfelt apology. I’m very moved. You’ve hit on a heavy part of my heart. I was so confused for so long. I believed in the gospel so deeply, and it caused my self hate and shame to go even deeper. I pushed so hard against the bloom within me. I’m so thankful there are members like you, sharing and standing up for right. I hope your words will mend hearts and save lives.
Thank you.”

A transgender woman. Lifting my heart. Encouraging my path. Giving me hope.

All I feel right now is this: I love Jesus Christ. I love His teachings. I love His example.

Did Jesus really say that I can only go to HIS heaven if I love the least-of-these? I want to go to HIS heaven.

Nude Sailing

Childhood Sailing

As a boy, my dad taught me to sail. I loved it. We sailed often. When I married and started raising a family, our first recreational purchase was a 16′ catamaran. My children will recall many, many exciting memories of sailing through the surf in the Gulf of Mexico. With crashing waves and strong wind, catamaran sailing is more thrilling & exhilarating than the most extreme roller coaster. I still have a 19′ Nacra sitting in the garage.

At the not so advanced age of 63, my days at sea are no longer frequent. But…..with whispers of nude sailing, my windy, watery sport may be winging its way to new life.

Hearing Restored With Nudity

A few days ago, I was outfitted with hearing aids for the first time. My doctor is an attractive woman, somewhere in her thirties. She applied the miniature devices to my ears. A round disc shaped object was hung from my neck. I was seated in front of another and larger disc. Wires were strung from both these devices, connecting them to a computer. Testing, programming and fine tuning began. The doctor: “Sally sells sea shells on the sea shore. How did that sound?” And so it went.

Between adjustments and repeated tests, we small talked. Until….she said something about sailing. Rarely, do you run into a fellow sailor. Once she knew of our mutual hobby, the fitting stopped and she began regaling me of her maritime adventures. They had begun at age 9 on the Chesapeake Bay. She recounted her sailing history; the lessons, the boats, the storms, the fun, the excitement. Right up to this past weekend.

Then this: “Last week I was in a NUDE sailing competition with my daughter.” I had been listening with great interest. Now my attention was riveted. NUDE SAILING? What the heck! She said it so casually that it wasn’t appropriate to drop my jaw. But, mentally, my jaw dropped completely open. NUDE SAILING? A BARE NAKED COMPETITION?

Suddenly, visions were dancing in my head. Not of sugar plums, something else instead. Naked on a small sailboat? With others all about? How do you do that? What does it look like? Pulling the rudder, trimming the sails, holding the sheets. Bending and twisting in the waves and the wind. Sunscreen? Tan lines? Coed? What?? NUDE SAILING??? And, a competition, to boot?

But, wait, maybe the new devices weren’t working well. Maybe I just misheard. Could it have been crude, or prude, or lewd? Wait a minute. Now, I’m just thinking of things that might be connected with NUDE.

Not missing a beat, she kept talking. Then, my thoughts went back 30 years. My dad, my 3 brothers and I rented a large sailboat in the Caribbean. For 7 days we sailed from one island to the next. The little French isle of St. Bart’s held an eye-popping surprise. We anchored in a small uninhabited cove. Beautiful water, beach, vegetation. Another boat pulled into the same protected harbor. Maybe 50 yards away.

Before long, everybody on our boat had detected something intriguing about their boat. We were clad in swimsuits. They were clad in none. Necked they were. I didn’t want to stare, with my dad and brothers there. But….I wanted to stare….just like my dad and brothers, who were there. So, we all stole furtive glances until sunset.

Finally, my curiosity couldn’t be contained. Timidly, I queried, “The hearing aids might need more adjustment. I’m sure this can’t be right, but did you say NUDE sailing?”

Her response was a mischievous giggle. Uh…oh….what now? I’m just getting hearing aids, right? I hope?

Chuckling, she replied, “I did say nude sailing. But, that’s N…O…O…D. It stands for National Offshore One-Design.” We got a good laugh out of the misunderstanding. Now, we both knew that my hearing was crystal clear.

New, but Not NUDE, Couple in the Hood

A few years ago, my wife and I sponsored a get-together for National Night Out. We distributed flyers, set out chairs & tables, ice cream & treats. Two men walked up our driveway and politely introduced themselves. They had recently moved into the neighborhood and hadn’t met many neighbors, yet. They were a delightful COUPLE. That’s right. They were a gay couple. The first one that I’d ever met. And….they had 2 adopted children. Within a few short months they had moved away.

This encounter got me thinking about the Mormon church’s stance on gay people. Would accommodations ever be made to allow room for them in our religion? My wife and I discussed it. I don’t know why I spent time considering the issue. I just did. Finally, I came to the conclusion that somehow changes would have to be made. Somehow gay couples would have to be included. Because….there are children involved! Jesus made a point to point out that he loves all children. Without the parents, these children would likely remain unreachable. Children are treasured much more by the Savior than any policy.

Little did I know that the church would soon move in the polar opposite direction.

The New, and NUDE, November Policy

November 2015 held a shocking surprise. A church wide policy was announced. Gay couples, who have the audacity to engage in legal and lawful marriage, would be declared apostate. Children of gay parents were to be stripped of their right to baby blessings, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost, and temple attendance.

A friend of mine is married to the love of her life. Two women with five children between them. Their darling family of 7 were active believing members. In faith, this couple had managed to cope with the church’s stance on being gay. How much faith does THAT require? I can only imagine the difficulty. Never-the-less, their righteous desire was to see their children raised in the church.

November changed all that. The edict from Salt Lake City crushed their faith. This precious family of 7 no longer attends. A few days ago, the bishop contacted my friend to schedule their disciplinary council. Insult added to injury.

This new policy has been dressed up as a pronouncement of love & protection for the little ones with gay parents. But, when all the rhetoric is stripped away, it’s a just a NAKED program of rejection, exclusion and stigma.

Two thousand years ago, Jesus gently counseled that the pathway to heaven was traveled by reaching out to the “least of these.” Two thousand years later, we have resorted to casting them out.

Interview with an Apostle

First, A Parley with an Apostate

Last week, I was in Utah and had an extended chat with an apostate. Terrible word. He’s also been excommunicated. Another terrible word. In a couple of weeks I’ll provide a link to our conversation. For the time being, he’ll remain anonymous.

Until the past 2 years, I really didn’t know any apostates or excommunicants. I find them to be wonderful people. Intelligent & thoughtful, open & understanding. Plus, they’re kind and loving. Who would a thunk it?

While in Utah, by happenstance, I ran into an apostle. He’ll also remain anonymous. A reliable record of our conversation is recounted below

The Apostolic Interview

Apostle: It’s very nice to meet you.

Sam: I’m honored and a little nervous to meet you, sir.

Apostle: Before we start, I’d like to ask you a question. Sam, how do you think I look?

Sam: You look great….except….for….. . . . Well, there’s a booger hanging from your nose.

Apostle: (Pointing to his nose) Do you mean this big, fat, green booger?

Sam: Um…y..y..y..yes?

Apostle: Don’t worry about it. It was sent from God.

Sam: What does that mean?

Apostle: It’s a booger filled with love.

Sam: This isn’t making any sense.

Apostle: This beautiful juicy booger is filled with love for gay people and all of their children.

Sam: Well, it kind of upsets my stomach when I look at it.

Apostle: I’m sorry about that. Everybody else has told me that my booger of love is really handsome.

Sam: You’re joking, right? Who, in the world, would tell you that they like your booger?

Apostle: I visited your stake conference last April. One thousand and one members were at the meeting. I asked the congregation to tell me how I looked. One thousand people raised their hands in approval of my appearance. Only one person didn’t like my booger.

Sam: That was me!

Apostle: Here’s what I want you to do, my dear friend, Sam. Go read the scriptures and then pray….about my big, fat, green booger. Before long, you will know that it is delicious to the taste and very desirable.

Sam: I’m not going to pray about your booger. I already know that it’s disgusting.

Apostle: Now, now, Sam. When you get home I want you to go talk with your stake president.

Sam: Ok.

**Note: This morning I asked my adult daughter, “Suppose you were meeting with one of your clients, someone in upper management. If they had a booger would you tell them?” She replied, “Nope. I’d only tell someone really close, like my sisters or a best friend.”

Moral of the story: when our friends have a booger, we point it out. If we don’t, what kind of friend are we? The booger is the policy of excommunicating gay couples and excluding their children. It was announced in November 2015.

Mr. Cubit’s Shocking Gay Interview

Anonimity

Mr. Cubit

I met Mr. Cubit about 2 years ago. It was around the time that my church questions started to coalesce. He has witnessed my entire journey and has been a great support. In fact, he has been very influential in the path I’ve chosen. For the time being, he’s asked me to maintain his anonymity. After reading this, I think you’ll understand his quest to remain obscure.

The Gay Interview

Sam: Could you describe your current status within the LDS church?

Mr. Cubit: I’m an active, believing, heterosexual member. My life has revolved around the church my entire life. It’s a wonderful organization. But, it is not perfect. Changes should and will be made.

Sam: You are aware that I strongly disapprove of the church’s exclusionary policy toward children of gay parents. But, you recently told me something that takes LGBT concerns to a new level. I was a bit shocked with what you had to say. Can you elaborate here?

Mr. Cubit: I’ll just blurt it out. GAY SEX IS NOT A SIN. Heterosexual sex is not a sin within marriage. Neither is gay sex.

Sam: How did you come to that conclusion?

Mr. Cubit: The apostles recently disavowed and condemned our past racist beliefs, doctrine and policies. This is a courageous game changer. We are finally admitting that prophets can and do get important matters wrong. This condemnation covers official practices that spanned over 125 years and during the tenure of most presidents of the latter-day church. The apostles explain that there is no known revelation that implemented the discrimination towards blacks of African decent. They speculate that church leaders simply fell victim to the prevailing culture of the time. In other words, it wasn’t God who implemented racism, it was the leadership.

Sam: What does that have to do with gay sex?

Mr Cubit: For a long, long time, we have had a homophobic society. Just as God is not racist, he is not homophobic. Rather, I believe that we, as a church, as well as our leadership, have simply fallen victim to the the culture of our time.

Sam: How can you possibly say that?

Book of Mormon

Mr. Cubit: First, I love our LDS scriptures. The Book of Mormon contains the fullness of the gospel. Yet, not one homophobic peep. It’s a book of scripture that was prepared for our day. An ancient document preserved to direct us in the last dispensation. Homosexuality is a major issue in the modern era. Yet, no mention whatsoever. This book is the Keystone of our religion. How can we make anti-gay sex a keystone of our doctrine if the Keystone containing the fullness doesn’t condemn it?

What’s more, we have the Doctrine and Covenants. This is actual modern day revelation from God. It supports our Keystone. Just like the Book of Mormon, nary a mention of this supposedly horrendous sin. God warns of wine, tobacco, and to use meat sparingly. But, where is the warning of the “far worse” sin of homosexuality. It’s completely absent.

There is a pattern here, comparable to race and the priesthood. There was no formal or canonized revelation to exclude blacks. There is no formal or canonized revelation to exclude homosexuals. It simply reflects societal views. God is not racist or homophobic. He created blacks, black. He created homosexuals, homosexual.

Sam: OK. What about the bible?

Mr. Cubit: The Book of Mormon and Doctrine of Covenants witness of Jesus Christ. They also witness of his teachings. Here’s what Jesus had to say about homosexuals and gay sex: NOTHING. No warning, no condemnation, no exclusion. For me, that’s one of those powerful confirmations that our LDS scriptures come from God.

Sam: Aren’t there biblical references that condemn gay sex?

Mr Cubit: This topic could be a whole interview, by itself. I’ll try to be short. The bible does not address sexual orientation or same-sex marriage. We believe in the bible “as far as it’s translated correctly.” Many believe these passages are incorrectly interpreted or poorly translated. Mormons are very selective on what we literally take from the bible. For example, Paul says that women should not speak in church. Long hair for men is unnatural. This revered apostle seemed to sanction slavery, instructing slaves to obey their masters with deep respect. And, the Old Testament…tons of weird and immoral laws and practices.

Sam: The church’s position is that “same sex attraction” is not a sin. Acting on it is. Gay people are instructed to refrain from romantic relations for their entire life.

Mr Cubit: I’m going to use some harsh words here. There is no way that I could look a gay man in the eyes and say, “The most fulfilling & joyous aspect of my life is a lifelong, romantic & intimate relationship with a person whom I deeply love. Now, listen up, my homosexual friend, you can never have this. If you do, you are doomed to hell.” I find this doctrine arrogant & insensitive, hypocritical and harmful. There are reports of suicides among our gay youth. How could there not be, when we offer such a hopeless and damning message.

Sam: Have you ever brought this up at church or with the leaders?

Mr. Cubit: No.

Sam: Why not?

Mr. Cubit: I value my membership. Sharing this opinion could result in excommunication.

Sam: That sounds highly unlikely.

Mr. Cubit: Not long ago, a couple posted their objection to the teachings about polygamy in D&C 132. Their stake president demanded that they take down the post. They refused. Church discipline was threatened. They are now disaffected.

Sam: That’s hard to believe. So, you have never talked with anybody about this before?

Mr. Cubit: I’ve talked to 4 members. But, I have to be super careful. Discuss with the wrong person…judgment, gossip and possible reports to my bishop. Here is what these 4 told me. 1) Active, former bishop, not you, Sam. He said it’s not a sin. Huge surprise. 2) Gay friend who left the church after November’s policy…not a sin. Not a surprise. 3) Semi-active, believing member…not a sin, but doesn’t like to think about it. A surprise. 4) Active, semi-believing member…of course it’s a sin. #4 reacted so strongly and judgmentally, that I’m really gun-shy to discuss…unless I know it’s totally safe.

Sam: #3 said he doesn’t like to think about it. How do you feel about that?

Mr. Cubit: Last year I asked my stake president about a particular sexual practice. I wanted to know if it was sinful within marriage. He spoke with wisdom. “I don’t ask any questions about what happens in the bedroom. That’s between the couple.” Wow! I feel the same way about a married gay couple. I don’t want to know about their bedroom. Nor, do I want to share with anyone what goes on in mine.

Sam: Do you think the church will ever change it’s doctrine about homosexuality?

Mr. Cubit: They will be forced to. Society is changing all around them. The pace of change is quickening. Eventually, corrections will be made to mirror the culture. Today, we don’t tolerate racism. Tomorrow, the rising generation will not tolerate homophobia. Thank heavens.

Sam: Anything else you would like to share?

Mr. Cubit: At a recent stake conference, a general authority seventy, said this to LGBT members: “We love you, we understand you, we respect you, we need you. You bring a richer sense of understanding and spirit. Please stay with us.”

That’s a step in the right direction. I’d add. “If you can’t stay with us, I can totally understand. God loves you just the way you are. He is going to reverse the current policies and doctrine, but it may take awhile. In the meantime, I love you whether you leave or stay, remain single or marry. I support and love you either way. And so does God!

Sam: Thanks for being honest and open. And…thanks for trusting me enough to share what could elicit strong judgmental thinking towards you.

Tocubit Is Invisible's Cubit

Tag: LGBT