I met Mr. Cubit about 2 years ago. It was around the time that my church questions started to coalesce. He has witnessed my entire journey and has been a great support. In fact, he has been very influential in the path I’ve chosen. For the time being, he’s asked me to maintain his anonymity. After reading this, I think you’ll understand his quest to remain obscure.
The Gay Interview
Sam: Could you describe your current status within the LDS church?
Mr. Cubit: I’m an active, believing, heterosexual member. My life has revolved around the church my entire life. It’s a wonderful organization. But, it is not perfect. Changes should and will be made.
Sam: You are aware that I strongly disapprove of the church’s exclusionary policy toward children of gay parents. But, you recently told me something that takes LGBT concerns to a new level. I was a bit shocked with what you had to say. Can you elaborate here?
Mr. Cubit: I’ll just blurt it out. GAY SEX IS NOT A SIN. Heterosexual sex is not a sin within marriage. Neither is gay sex.
Sam: How did you come to that conclusion?
Mr. Cubit: The apostles recently disavowed and condemned our past racist beliefs, doctrine and policies. This is a courageous game changer. We are finally admitting that prophets can and do get important matters wrong. This condemnation covers official practices that spanned over 125 years and during the tenure of most presidents of the latter-day church. The apostles explain that there is no known revelation that implemented the discrimination towards blacks of African decent. They speculate that church leaders simply fell victim to the prevailing culture of the time. In other words, it wasn’t God who implemented racism, it was the leadership.
Sam: What does that have to do with gay sex?
Mr Cubit: For a long, long time, we have had a homophobic society. Just as God is not racist, he is not homophobic. Rather, I believe that we, as a church, as well as our leadership, have simply fallen victim to the the culture of our time.
Sam: How can you possibly say that?
Mr. Cubit: First, I love our LDS scriptures. The Book of Mormon contains the fullness of the gospel. Yet, not one homophobic peep. It’s a book of scripture that was prepared for our day. An ancient document preserved to direct us in the last dispensation. Homosexuality is a major issue in the modern era. Yet, no mention whatsoever. This book is the Keystone of our religion. How can we make anti-gay sex a keystone of our doctrine if the Keystone containing the fullness doesn’t condemn it?
What’s more, we have the Doctrine and Covenants. This is actual modern day revelation from God. It supports our Keystone. Just like the Book of Mormon, nary a mention of this supposedly horrendous sin. God warns of wine, tobacco, and to use meat sparingly. But, where is the warning of the “far worse” sin of homosexuality. It’s completely absent.
There is a pattern here, comparable to race and the priesthood. There was no formal or canonized revelation to exclude blacks. There is no formal or canonized revelation to exclude homosexuals. It simply reflects societal views. God is not racist or homophobic. He created blacks, black. He created homosexuals, homosexual.
Sam: OK. What about the bible?
Mr. Cubit: The Book of Mormon and Doctrine of Covenants witness of Jesus Christ. They also witness of his teachings. Here’s what Jesus had to say about homosexuals and gay sex: NOTHING. No warning, no condemnation, no exclusion. For me, that’s one of those powerful confirmations that our LDS scriptures come from God.
Sam: Aren’t there biblical references that condemn gay sex?
Mr Cubit: This topic could be a whole interview, by itself. I’ll try to be short. The bible does not address sexual orientation or same-sex marriage. We believe in the bible “as far as it’s translated correctly.” Many believe these passages are incorrectly interpreted or poorly translated. Mormons are very selective on what we literally take from the bible. For example, Paul says that women should not speak in church. Long hair for men is unnatural. This revered apostle seemed to sanction slavery, instructing slaves to obey their masters with deep respect. And, the Old Testament…tons of weird and immoral laws and practices.
Sam: The church’s position is that “same sex attraction” is not a sin. Acting on it is. Gay people are instructed to refrain from romantic relations for their entire life.
Mr Cubit: I’m going to use some harsh words here. There is no way that I could look a gay man in the eyes and say, “The most fulfilling & joyous aspect of my life is a lifelong, romantic & intimate relationship with a person whom I deeply love. Now, listen up, my homosexual friend, you can never have this. If you do, you are doomed to hell.” I find this doctrine arrogant & insensitive, hypocritical and harmful. There are reports of suicides among our gay youth. How could there not be, when we offer such a hopeless and damning message.
Sam: Have you ever brought this up at church or with the leaders?
Mr. Cubit: No.
Sam: Why not?
Mr. Cubit: I value my membership. Sharing this opinion could result in excommunication.
Sam: That sounds highly unlikely.
Mr. Cubit: Not long ago, a couple posted their objection to the teachings about polygamy in D&C 132. Their stake president demanded that they take down the post. They refused. Church discipline was threatened. They are now disaffected.
Sam: That’s hard to believe. So, you have never talked with anybody about this before?
Mr. Cubit: I’ve talked to 4 members. But, I have to be super careful. Discuss with the wrong person…judgment, gossip and possible reports to my bishop. Here is what these 4 told me. 1) Active, former bishop, not you, Sam. He said it’s not a sin. Huge surprise. 2) Gay friend who left the church after November’s policy…not a sin. Not a surprise. 3) Semi-active, believing member…not a sin, but doesn’t like to think about it. A surprise. 4) Active, semi-believing member…of course it’s a sin. #4 reacted so strongly and judgmentally, that I’m really gun-shy to discuss…unless I know it’s totally safe.
Sam: #3 said he doesn’t like to think about it. How do you feel about that?
Mr. Cubit: Last year I asked my stake president about a particular sexual practice. I wanted to know if it was sinful within marriage. He spoke with wisdom. “I don’t ask any questions about what happens in the bedroom. That’s between the couple.” Wow! I feel the same way about a married gay couple. I don’t want to know about their bedroom. Nor, do I want to share with anyone what goes on in mine.
Sam: Do you think the church will ever change it’s doctrine about homosexuality?
Mr. Cubit: They will be forced to. Society is changing all around them. The pace of change is quickening. Eventually, corrections will be made to mirror the culture. Today, we don’t tolerate racism. Tomorrow, the rising generation will not tolerate homophobia. Thank heavens.
Sam: Anything else you would like to share?
Mr. Cubit: At a recent stake conference, a general authority seventy, said this to LGBT members: “We love you, we understand you, we respect you, we need you. You bring a richer sense of understanding and spirit. Please stay with us.”
That’s a step in the right direction. I’d add. “If you can’t stay with us, I can totally understand. God loves you just the way you are. He is going to reverse the current policies and doctrine, but it may take awhile. In the meantime, I love you whether you leave or stay, remain single or marry. I support and love you either way. And so does God!
Sam: Thanks for being honest and open. And…thanks for trusting me enough to share what could elicit strong judgmental thinking towards you.