Divorce or Disobey?

Hint: Adam and the Mormon Temple say……..DISOBEY.


A Tender Text

Today, my youngest daughter sent me this message:

Dear dad,

Thank you so much for putting mom and our family before yourself. Today I met a Mormon couple that is getting divorced because the man has left the church. I talked with them for a while and it was apparent that he just wasn’t willing to make sacrifices for his wife’s happiness. I am so glad to have a father who is able to see the importance of family above everything else.

Love, Emily

BTW, I have not left the LDS church.


Over the past couple of years, I have come in contact with many members who have left the church. Their prior faith obliterated by history, doctrine & policies that they had only recently discovered. This includes good friends and family.

Sometimes, married couples depart from the church together. Sometimes, it’s only one spouse whose faith transitions. Unfortunately, I have heard and read many stories of couples divorcing when only one leaves the church. Often, the believing partner is encouraged by bishops and stake presidents, family and friends, to divorce the non-believing spouse. The family is broken. Children confused, scared and heartbroken.

All this over belief & church.  Is marriage less important than belief?  Is family less treasured than church?


For the first time in almost 2 years, I recently attended the temple. I explain here exactly why I decided to go back.  This time, I went with new eyes.  It was fascinating, uplifting, and spiritual.  Lot’s of new understandings.  I have already written about one monumental take-away here.

The temple movie presents a beautiful portrayal of the creation story.  Adam & Eve are placed in the Garden of Eden.  Satan tempts Adam do disobey God.  Our first father will have nothing to do with disobedience.

Eve is Lucifer’s next target for temptation.  She carefully considers the Adversary’s argument. Her rational decision is to disobey God.  Result: Eve was to be cast out of the protected, perfect and paradisiacal Garden of Eden.

Now, it’s her turn to offer the forbidden fruit to Adam. He considers. Refuses.  “I will not disobey Father,” he insists.  Eve persists.  Finally, Adam looks into heaven and weighs the options.  His decision: it’s more important to disobey God than to have their precious union broken-up.

What a tremendous temple statement!  What an amazing example of righteous disobedience!  This, from the very first story in the bible.  The foundational epic of Christianity and Mormondom highlights two “sinful” acts.  Eve disobeyed God in order to bring about the human race.  Adam disobeyed God in order to keep his marriage in good grace.

So, bishops & stake presidents, friends & family, reflect on the temple teachings before you encourage a believer to divorce the non-believer.

1 Corinthians 7:14 “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband.”

6 thoughts on “Divorce or Disobey?

  1. My mother stayed with my unbeliever father for over 60 years. She always said, that even with his faults, he was a better man than most of the believers. I agreed for the most part.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I suggest that rather than divorce and apostasy members in faith crisis take a moderate stance of referring to themselves and acting as “Investigators.” This provides a stance of critical questioning of all things while remaining in the culture. We need a church filled with lifetime investigators more than we need insincere, weak and parroted.testimonies. Leadership must be responsive with real answers to serious questions or admit the lack of

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What if the church isn’t true? Should those who feel they’ve discovered that the church isn’t true remain in it anyway? Would you encourage a Catholic man who is suddenly having doubts about Catholicism because he is meeting with Mormon missionaries to remain a Catholic? These solutions to the Mormon faith crisis (like “doubt your doubts”) are words of advice that would never be offered to anyone outside of Mormonism who is having a faith crisis.

      A faith crisis in Mormonism is called “apostasy.” A faith crisis in any other religion is called “being led by the Spirit to further truth.” Someday, maybe you’ll all wake up and realize that the leaders are only telling you things in order to keep you under their control and authority.

      Liked by 3 people

  3. I don’t understand. Adam had to choose between obeying two commands. He obeyed the very first, preeminent one that was given to him: multiply and replenish the earth. He couldn’t do that without remaining with Eve. “When two people are in love, they don’t look at each other. They look in the same direction.”

    Liked by 1 person

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