Gossip

gossip

Anecdote for Friends to Take Note

Brother Fred

Once upon a time, there was a man named Fred.  Decades long, an active member of the Mormon Church.  In his later years, his faith transitioned.  It was a 2 year process, gut-wrenching and excruciating.  Relationships with wife and family were strained.  Eventually, Fred found a way forward.  He placed his faith in the teachings and example of Jesus Christ within the church which bears His name.

A Bishop’s Warning

Fred selected a path in the church which did not coincide with the consensus.  A long discussion was had with the head of his congregation.  The wise bishop issued a perceptive warning.  “Be prepared for push-back from the members.  They won’t understand what you are doing.”  Fred felt strongly that his path was one of love, both for the church and for the souls he saw at its margins.  To him, being of service to the “least” in the church was worth hazarding whatever gossip might arise.  However, there was a consequence coming that Fred had overlooked.

The Love of Fred’s Life

Fred’s wife had witnessed his transition from beginning to end.  She had been frightened, insecure and confused as she watched the pain, anger and confusion experienced by her husband.  Finally, his ire subsided.  A clear path was chosen.  With the passage of many more months, the wife gained confidence that her husband was the very same man she had married.  She came to understand ‘the what’ and ‘the why’ of her husband’s course.  She began to see a path filled with integrity and charity.  She became supportive.

Gossip

Then, the full meaning of the bishop’s warning burst upon the scene.  The love of Fred’s life stopped going to church.  Why?  The ward members were gossiping about her husband. That provided enough discomfort that she didn’t want to face the congregation.  Fred kept going to church.  His completely believing spouse did not.  What an ironic turn of events.  It literally took 6 months before she was willing to brave a ward family full of whispering  gossip behind her husband’s back.

Unfortunately, tale bearing is all too common.  When we engage in it, we are usually oblivious to collateral damage.  Fred’s wife has many good and deep friendships in her congregation.  The gossip didn’t harm Fred.  It harmed his innocent wife.  And none of her friends had a clue.  I hope this post clues them in.

Special Request

I happen to have a lot in common with Brother Fred.  Many people have told me that lots of gossip is going on about my church activities.  Here’s my request:  If you are interested in me, don’t talk behind my back.  Talk to my face.  Behind the back is rude, unChristlike and fraught with collateral damage.  That damage may be to your own family members who have questions in their own minds.  I have spoken with many, many people who don’t trust their families enough to openly discuss their concerns.  That is so sad.  Our current church culture does not foster an atmosphere of safety, honesty and authenticity.

There is nothing positive that comes out of gossip.  Instead, talk about me….with me.  Gossip is easy and takes no guts.  Speaking face to face does take courage.  I won’t bite.  I promise.  I love the church.  I love its leaders.  It saddens me that so many members are fleeing our ranks.  If you want to know where I stand, ask me, send an e-mail, or let me take you to lunch.

To the handful of brave friends who have reached out to me.  THANK YOU!

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The Man Who Voted Opposed

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General Conference

Every six months, the LDS (Mormon) Church holds a much anticipated General Conference.  All around the world, members tune in to watch and listen to the pronouncements of their highest leaders.  Tens of thousands travel to Salt Lake City to witness the proceedings in person.

The Conference is composed of 6 two-hour meetings.  A cherished part of the Saturday afternoon session is the Sustaining of Officers.  The names and positions of the General Authorities are presented to the membership.  An up or down vote is called for.  Members may sustain, abstain, or oppose.

Almost always, the voting appears unanimous.  However, this trend is changing.  At the October 2015 and April 2016 conferences, opposed votes were clearly registered in the confines of the Conference Center.  The numbers were few.  But the votes of disapproval were noted by the leadership and all who were viewing.

October 2016

This fall Conference was historic by modern standards.  The sustainings were conducted on Oct 1st. The tally:  sustain–almost all.  Opposed–267!!!   You can see their names HERE.  This is a huge number.  I and my wife were 2 of the 267.

Going against the consensus is NOT easy.  There are hundreds of thousands of members–including many less active members–who would like to vote opposed.  However, there is fear associated with negative voting.  Our current LDS culture stigmatizes honest and open disagreement, especially in a Conference setting.  This must change.  It was Jesus Himself who mandated that “ALL things MUST be done by common consent.”  It’s His church.  Eventually, the stigma against following His directives in His own church is going to disappear.

The Lone Man…Adam

Out of the intrepid 267, only one person actually cast his opposing vote in the Conference Center itself on October 1, 2016.  This article is written to tell his miraculous story.  For the time being, I’ll call him Adam.

Adam is a faithful, believing member.  He currently serves as a counselor in his bishopric.  Like many in the church, he has had concerns in recent years regarding the church’s treatment of LGBT people and its involvement in political contests regarding LGBT issues.  When the November 2015 anti-gay policy came to light, he was mortified.  Vehemently opposed, he discussed it with his Bishop and Stake President.  They counseled him to pray and “gain a testimony” of its divine origin as a revelation, despite the fact that it has never been presented to the membership for ratification as such.

By the time October Conference had arrived, Adam’s own conscience–as well as what he felt to be the promptings of the Holy Ghost–drove him to the decision to vote opposed in person.  He was unsuccessful in obtaining a ticket prior to leaving home.  Undaunted, he hugged and kissed his loving and supportive wife, jumped in his car and drove many hours, crossing multiple state lines to Salt Lake City.  No ticket.  Only hope and a prayer.  During his long drive, Adam prayed.  He asked Heavenly Father that if it were His will that he should follow his conscience and express an opposing vote in the Conference Center,  that an admission ticket would somehow be provided.

Outside the Conference Center, he observed many people asking others if they had spare tickets.  Adam even ventured a few inquiries.  It soon became evident that this method was doomed to failure.  He was directed to the standby line.  Hundreds were ahead of him.  He offered another prayer. “If it’s Thy will that I vote opposed, please provide a way in.”

Time was passing.  Hope was fading.  The long line discouraging.

The Miracle

Then it happened.  A young woman approached.  Hand extended, she asked, “Would you like a ticket?”  With hundreds waiting in hopes of getting in, the mystery matron picked Adam.  He counted it as an answer to prayer.  A sign that God was sustaining him and his un-sustaining vote.  A Miracle.

The Vote

Adam was seated.  The session was about to start.  This humble and considerate man gently tapped the person in front of him.  He quietly informed all seated around him of his plans to voice an opposing vote.  No one seemed alarmed.  Rather, the advance notice was received with appreciation and kindness.

President Eyring conducted the sustainings.  Adam voted disapproval 3 times:  to the First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and to their being sustained as prophets, seers and revelators.  His was the lone voice that echoed throughout the Conference Center.   In front of 22,000 other attendees.  In front of millions, the world over.  As he did so, he felt come over him a great feeling of love for those 15 men and a great feeling of sorrow for the situation that had led to that heartbreaking circumstance.

But Adam was not really alone.  Remotely, 266 others joined him that day. Modern history was made.

Adam, my friend, my hat is off to you.  I commend you for your integrity and courage.

Opposed to What?

Adam–and most of those voting with him–are NOT opposed to the prophet and apostles, per se.  We understand that, just as in other types of elections, once the results are tabulated, every participant–the yeas and the nays–can and do sustain in good faith those who receive the sustaining vote of the people, according to the Law of Common Consent.

Adam is not opposed to the church.  He’s not opposed to the Restoration.  He’s not opposed to the leadership.  In fact, he loves the church with all his heart.  He loves and respects the leadership.  He made an exhausting, weekend-long drive with only a slim hope of being admitted to Conference.  A poignant demonstration of his love and commitment to the church, Jesus, and a marginalized community.

What he IS opposed to–vehemently so–is a policy.  The November 2015 policy labeling gay couples as apostates and excluding their children from Priesthood ordinances.

According to church doctrine and by divine mandate (D&C 28:13), “policies, major decisions and other things that affect the lives of the Saints” must be accepted by the Common Consent of the membership.

In today’s church, NO “policies, major decisions and other things that affect the lives of the Saints” are being presented to the church body for approval or disapproval.  For members committed to living by the Law of Common Consent, the only option appears to be voting opposed to those who control the voting practices.

Consequences

Adam has concerns that actions may be taken against him.  He’s concerned that he may be released from his calling.  It’s ludicrous that any punitive consequences could even be a consideration.  Jesus has commanded the apostles to ask the members for their opinion.  An honest answer deserves commendation not condemnation.  His local leaders’ responsibility is to listen and pass his concerns up the line.  Not to listen,  pass judgment and punish him back in line.

But, Mormon culture may not be there yet.  Our church needs more faithful, serving, believing Saints just like dear Adam.

Are You Opposed?

If you are a member of the LDS church.  If you are opposed to “policies, major decisions and other things that affect the lives of the Saints,” especially, policies that have never seen the light of Common Consent, then consider voting your true opinion and feelings.

Make next April another historic conference.  By then we WILL be more than 267.  Can we be….2,067?  Or….20,067?  Or….?

Common Consent is the Law of God and the Law of the Church. It’s up to you and me, the common members, to make Common Consent the common rule of Christ’s church.

You have a voice.  Please don’t leave without speaking up.  Stand up for what is right. Speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves.

Take the step of publicly registering your disapproval on the Register of Common Consent, HERE.

Other Resources

  • Information on LDS.ORG regarding Common Consent, click HERE.  Please take note of this paragraph:  “Not only are Church officers sustained by common consent, but this same principle operates for policies, major decisions, acceptance of new scripture, and other things that affect the lives of the Saints.”
  • Scriptural information about Common Consent, click HERE.
  • Disturbing membership Trends, click HERE.
  • Do We Love Jesus Enough?, click HERE.
  • The Only True Hope for The Only True Church, click HERE.
  • My personal sadness over my friends and family leaving, click HERE
  • Common Consent Register—A Record of Those Who Disapprove click, HERE.

If I Don’t Dissent…I Consent

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In 1967, I graduated from Central Davis Jr High School.  Life’s next great adventure began 3 months later.  My memorable high school years were about to begin as a proud Layton Lancer.  Like most kids, I was a bit intimidated.  Nervous and super excited.  Of course, I would be reunited with my school friends again.  However, the real draw of those high school years were the girls. I was shy and wouldn’t start dating for good while.  But, that’s a happy story for another time and place.

Gym Class

I have one BIG regret that has dogged me all these years. Perhaps, with this post I will finally shake some of my shame.

The unfortunate event, that still brings tears to my eyes, occurred during my 9th grade gym class…in the locker room.  My locker was located in the same row as Rulon’s. There are very few individuals in this world who ALWAYS have a smile lighting up their face.  I don’t recall ever seeing Rulon without his amazing smile brightly beaming.

Rulon was “retarded.”

Today, that’s not a proper way to refer to the mentally disadvantaged.  That’s just the word we used back then.  All of his classes were special education, except for gym. Kids will be kids, boys will be boys and that means constant teasing. Rulon was a constant and convenient target.  A target of pure innocence.  Perhaps he didn’t understand.  I’m afraid he did.  But, somehow his smile remained immutable.

Rulon, I’m So Sorry

Then, one day……..I struggle putting this in writing.  My eyes fill with tears.  I choke back my sobs.

One day……..Oh why did that day have to happen?

One day……..it happened, just a few lockers away.  Two of my friends were teasing, then taunting, then harassing the innocently smiling boy.  They threw him up against the locker wall. I can still hear the dull thudding clank of his body against the metal. My friends roughed him up pretty well.  The evergreen smile disappeared.  Confused and distraught, he couldn’t understand what he had done to deserve such a beating.  A beating……..by friends……..among friends……..witnessed by friends.  At least, he had considered us his friends.

As for me, and several others.  No…I’ll just focus on me.  I sat there and watched. Uncomfortable and frozen.  Repulsed, and passive.  Damnit.

Rulon’s whipping concluded.  He slumped.  Gazed at the floor.  Forlorn and smileless. I sat there.  Then I turned away.  Then I left.

I raised no objection.  I offered no dissent.  I stayed silent and watched.  An innocent happy soul was hurt and harmed.  After the damage was done, couldn’t I have apologized?  Couldn’t I have reached out with words of comfort and love?  I had four years to do it.  I didn’t.

My high school career came and went.  Once in a while, I would see Rulon in the halls. I don’t recall any conversations after that fateful day.  This pure and radiant boy was never the same.  That gym class had changed him.  Skittish.  Jumpy.  Confidence and trust in friends tarnished and tattered.

Many times, I’ve thought of my locker room failure.  I’d like to personally tell him I’m sorry.  But that chance is long gone.  The boy with the ceaseless shining smile is no more.  He died young….decades ago.

Today, I realize that I was complicit with my silence. By not standing for my friend, I gave my consent. By not speaking for my friend, I offered my consent. By just staring at my friend, I granted my consent.

The meek and lowly Rulon was among the “least of these,” of whom Jesus taught us to be mindful.  Failing one of the least, has taught me a mighty lesson. If I don’t dissent…I’m giving my consent.

Today, Rulon, I Stand For You

I’m no longer in high school.  I’m a man, fully grown.  No more consent with silence. Which only gives harm license.  Not in anger or haste.  This time I’ll think & take action.  Not live in disgrace.

I DISSENT, my friend Rulon, I DISSENT.

Where and how am I dissenting?  The answer’s HERE.  267 of us standing together.

If you are a member of the LDS church.  If you oppose policies that have never been approved by the membership.  Consider standing up for those who can’t fight for themselves.

Thomas S. Monson is My Hero

thomas-s-monson

Every 6 months the Mormon Church holds a general conference.  It’s broadcast to the world.  Featured speakers include the Twelve Apostles and other general authorities.  Words from the current prophet are always the highlight.  Thomas S. Monson fills that role today.

He has a special place in my heart.  When I was just 9 years old, ‘Tommy,’ became an apostle.  He has been an influential figure my entire life.  Many of his conference addresses are remembered with fondness.

During the April & October 2016 conferences I feel like his instructions were directed straight at me.  I…LOVED…THEM!!!

April 2016

President Monson’s talk was entitled “Choices.”  A timely topic indeed.  For the previous 2 years, I had worked to come to terms with troubling new information about my religion.  My choices were finally coalescing.  I describe my journey here.  The prophet’s talk  lasted a short and powerful 5 minutes.  These are the potent words that penetrated my heart.

“May we maintain the courage to defy the consensus.”

The day before this talk, for the first time in my life, I had defied the consensus by voting OPPOSED.  Now….here’s the prophet inspiring me to “maintain the courage to defy.”  Yes!!!  Six months later, I now know just how difficult it is to defy the consensus.  It’s a huge help to have the words of President Monson at my side.

“May we ever chose the harder right instead of the easier wrong.”

For months, I had weighed in my mind…obey my temple covenants…obey the law of God…speak up for “the least of these”…..OR……stay silent.  The prophet was giving me support to choose the “harder right.”  The “wrong” would have been so much easier.

“If we choose Christ, we will have made the correct choice.”

This lodges a tear in my eye.  In February 2016, I made the conscious and fateful decision to put my faith in the teachings and example of Jesus Christ.  Well, I gladly accept the confirmation and validation that Pres. Monson so gently & forcefully pronounced.

October 2016

By the time the prophet spoke in the October 2nd Sunday morning session, I had voted disapproval at ward , stake, and 2 general conferences.  I had also thoroughly examined my temple covenants and the Law of Common Consent.  President Monson’s words resonated with overwhelming confirmation.

“Learn, search and pray.  We need to know God’s laws and live them.”

For months, I had been learning, searching and praying.   My very purpose was to know and understand the law of God.  Now…here’s the prophet giving the injunction to “live” what I have learned.  The Law of Common Consent IS God’s law.  I am determined to live it.

“We are blessed to have the truth.  We have a mandate to share the truth.  Let us live the truth.”

Amazing.  Simply amazing.  THIS…IS…MY… HERO!!!   Just this year, I have discovered the truth of how Jesus wants his church to be governed.  And now, I have a MANDATE to share it!  Oh my gosh!  Six days before President Monson pronounced these words, I had created the Common Consent Register.  Perhaps a clumsy attempt to share Christ’s truth.  Never-the-less, my hero has now given me a “mandate” to share.  Share away I will.

Thank you, President Monson.

Russell M. Nelson

This man is an apostle in the LDS church.  Not just any apostle.  He’s the senior member of the Quorum of the Twelve.  As such, he’s in line to replace President Monson at his passing.  Listen to his profound prescription to deploy real joy in our lives.

“Every day that we keep our covenants and help others to do the same, joy will be ours.”

Initially, I was nervous about sharing my understanding of temple covenants, explaining common consent, or openly encouraging others to live it.  If I had known in advance what Elder Nelson was going to say at conference, all my jitters would have evaporated long ago.  Well…they’ve certainly disappeared now.

Thank you Elder Nelson

What Now?

First

Consider the awesome and mounting support for Common Consent.

  • The law of God is on the side of common consent. In fact, it…is…the…Law.
  • The laws of God have the obvious backing of President Monson and Elder Nelson.
  • The prophet and his successor encourage sharing and helping others live the law of God.
  • 259 courageous friends have publicly committed to live the Law of Common Consent.  Note that about 1/3 of the names show up as anonymous.  They are real people with real names.  At present, they have selected the option to not have their names viewable.  Unfortunately, living the Law of Common Consent is not totally safe in our current church culture.  This must and will change.  After all, it was Jesus Himself who mandated that “ALL things MUST be done by common consent in the church.”
  • Even my family is supportive. My sweet wife has joined me in voting disapproval.

Second—And This is HUGE!!!

If you are a member & if you are opposed to policies that have NEVER been put to the vote of common consent….consider voicing your opinion now.

Jesus loves and values your views enough to formally request that you voice them several times every year.  To me, the Law of Common Consent is one of the most gorgeous examples that our Savior respects and treasures our capacity to think and make decisions.  We truly are citizens in the kingdom of God.  We just need to start living the law of citizenry.

There are no more voting conferences in 2016.  In the meantime, you can record your intentions by registering your name HERE on the Common Consent Register—A Record of Those Who Disapprove.

Thank you, my friends.

Links

Information on LDS.ORG regarding Common Consent, click HERE.  Please take note of this paragraph:  “Not only are Church officers sustained by common consent, but this same principle operates for policies, major decisions, acceptance of new scripture, and other things that affect the lives of the Saints.”

Scriptural information about Common Consent click, HERE.

Disturbing membership Trends, click HERE.

Do We Love Jesus Enough to live Common Consent, click HERE.

The Only True Hope for The Only True Church, click HERE.

My personal sadness over my friends and family leaving, click HERE.

Common Consent Register—A Record of Those Who Disapprove click, HERE.

Champion of Discord

justice

Yep. That’s me. At least, that’s how some are referring to me.

Champion of discord?  Nope.  The discord in my beloved church is already there and growing.  It’s just kept hidden and lonely.  In painful isolation.  Who created the discord?  Not me.  For the source, you have to look much higher up the leadership ladder.

What Kind of Champion do I Really Want to Be

1)  A CHAMPION for discussing discord.   Dismissing, disallowing, & demonizing discord only drives people away.  Our culture forbids discussing discord out in the open.  How weak the position of the church must be if discussing our discord is forbidden.  How weak testimonies must be!  The best way to bring accord out of discord is to discuss.  Demanding and dictating accord does not work and is not God’s way.

2)  A CHAMPION for keeping temple covenants, specifically the covenant to obey God’s Law.

3)  A CHAMPION for Christ’s clear and straightforward Law of common consent. Today in conference, Elder Ballard encouraged, “Never abandon the truths revealed through Joseph Smith.” Yet, we have abandoned the revelation of common consent. I’ll be it’s Champion.

4)  A CHAMPION for my marginalized and vulnerable gay brothers and sisters. In the church of Jesus, “the least of these” have no champions whatsoever. If something is going to be called sad, this is the saddest of them all:  we do not champion “the least of these.”   For heaven’s sake, this is the gorgeous center of Christ’s gospel and ministry.

5)  A CHAMPION for the marginalized truth seekers.  Again today, Elder Ballard counseled, “We must never neglect anyone with questions.  Treat them like investigators.”  Well, guess what?  Not only do we neglect those with questions, we marginalize, shun and shut them up.  I KNOW this from personal experience.  At this point, I’ve seen many leave because they were treated this very way.

Just Wait a Little Longer, Sam

I have been told that I should just sit back and wait. Do nothing. Trust the brethren.

Out of 6 siblings, all have left the church, but me.
How long should I wait?  Until my own children leave?

Many good friends have left.
How long should I wait?  Until another 100 have left?

All but one of my gay friends have left.
Should I wait until he’s gone?  Should I wait until 10 more gay kids come out, get shunned and then watch them & their families leave?
Should I just wait for another child to commit SUICIDE???

70% of members have resigned or are inactive. 80,000 resigned last year.
Should I wait for another 80,000 to resign?

Nope!!!  I’m acting on my temple covenants NOW.  I’m following Jesus’ Laws NOW.

From January 2015 until now, 22 months in all, I have reached out to quorum, Ward, stake, and general authority leadership.  Sharing concerns and ideas of what we could do as a church to stem the tide of exodus.  Response:  Zip…Nada….Nothing.  Twenty-two months of being told: be patient, we’ll look into it, we’ll get back with you, the brethren know what they are doing.

lacrima

Behold Thy Mother

My brother and his entire family left the church in January 2016. They have a gay son. The November gay policy drove them all out.

Then, two months ago, my mom resigned. This is my MOTHER!!!  Oh, behold my MOTHER!!!  Heart broken by policies NEVER approved by the consent of the common. Beaten down and driven out of Christ’s church. My church. The church that I love.

Unfortunately, the departure of all my siblings was not enough to kick my butt into action. But, there is no way that I am going to ignore the broken heart of my own dear MOTHER.

So, I am going to CHAMPION obedience of the Law of God, the Law that I promised in the temple to obey.  The vital Law of God which He called: The Law of Common Consent.  My mother has been bruised, battered, and severely scarred by policies that never would have been accepted if the church was not in disobedience of this indispensable commandment. No longer will I mock God by NOT striving to live up to the promises I have made in his holy house.

Resister of Common Consent–A Record of Those Who Disapprove (click here for link)

If you disapprove of what the church is doing, you have a voice.  It was granted by Jesus himself.   May we all CHAMPION what we know in our hearts to be right.  May we reclaim our God given privilege to approve or disapprove.

Dear Bishop and Stake President…


imageFor those Voting Opposed In LDS General, Stake & Ward Conferences

Policies, major decisions, and other things that affect the lives of the Saints, are MANDATED to be presented for a vote at conferences.  Today, this law is not being followed.  As a result, I have decided to vote in disapproval (opposed) to the First Presidency and the Twelve Apostles.  They are solely responsible, both for the church policies and for the mismanagement of not putting crucial matters up for a vote.

If you are disposed to vote disapproval, I recommend an email communication be sent to your local leaders informing them of your vote.  This should be sent around the time of the conference in question.  Personally, I think it’s best to vote with our HAND during the conference and then to send the email.  However, sending the letter without attending the session, is a perfectly fine and honorable choice.

I also recommend that you sign the Common Consent Register—A Record of Those Who Disapprove.

Email Examples

Following are examples of e-mail communications that can be sent to your local leaders.  Feel free to use for ideas, templates or outright copying.

Simple

Dear Bishop_____ & President_______,

At General Conference today, I voted opposed when the First Presidency and the Twelve Apostles were presented.  I’m not necessarily opposed to these men serving in their respective callings.  However, they have introduced polices of which I  firmly disapprove.

I would be happy to discuss details of my concerns with you.

Please register my disapproving vote through whatever channel the church uses with respect to the law of common consent.

The church does much good.  I believe it can be much better.  Jesus has commanded the church leaders to ask for my opinion 4 times a year.  I have prayed, searched and pondered . . .  a lot!!  For many reasons, I believe and feel that it’s important to my Savior that I give a true and honest opinion when asked.

Thank you for your unselfish service to the Lord and the members in our area.  I know that you spend countless hours in your calling.

All My Best to You and Your Family,

Detailed

Dear Bishop_____ & President_______,

At General Conference today, I voted opposed when the First Presidency and the Twelve Apostles were presented.  I’m not necessarily opposed to these men serving in their respective callings.  However, they have introduced polices of which firmly I disapprove.

In the recent past, a new policy was announced regarding children of married same-sex couples.  I disapprove of excluding these children from the blessings of the gospel.  Inside my heart, here’s how I’m feeling.  The policy damages families, traditional and non.  Families have been driven out of the church, both traditional and non.  Our gay children have been hurt.   There are now reports that the message this policy sends is so hurtful that suicides have resulted.  Jesus said that we will be judged on how we treat “the least of these.”  Punishing “the least of these” is wrong.  We are denying baby blessings, baptism, the Holy Ghost, the priesthood, and the temple to the “the least of these.”  That doesn’t square with the teachings and example of the Savior.  I don’t believe this is what Jesus would want done in His church.

I would be happy to discuss details of my concerns with you further, if you’d like.

Please register my disapproving vote through whatever channel the church uses with respect to the law of common consent.

Our church does much good.  I believe it can be much better.  Jesus has commanded the church leaders to ask for my opinion 4 times a year.  I have prayed, searched and pondered . . .  a lot!!  For many reasons, I believe and feel that it’s important to my Savior that I give a true and honest opinion when asked.

Thank you for your unselfish service to the Lord and the members in our area.  I know that you spend countless hours in your calling.

All My Best to You and Your Family,

Here’s The Letter I Sent

I didn’t go into detail of the policies I disapprove of, as we have already discussed them at length:

Hi _____ & ______,

Just wanted to let you know that I voted in disapproval during conference this weekend.

I am not actually opposed to the first presidency or the apostles. Since they are not putting up major policies for common consent, my opposition to those polices is expressed when sustaining those who control the process.

My two issues are common consent and the exclusion policy for children of gay couples.

I loved many of the messages at this conference. It’s the best that I can recall. President Monson may be frail, but what a powerful communication he delivered!

I haven’t made a tally, but it seemed like concern over people leaving the church was a common thread. I would prefer that this wasn’t happening. But, it gave me super validation for the path that I’m on.

The work I’m doing can be and frequently is misunderstood. Sharp criticism from both active members and those who have left the church. My entire objective is to help both those in and out.

To those in and are questioning or about to leave?  We explore options of finding ways to stay. The problem here is that most people that I talk to have already made the decision to leave. Somehow, we need to find a forum where members can discuss before they’ve already reached their conclusions.

To those who have left?  Well, here’s the problem.  We are creating an army or enemies. Enemies who know and exploit our many, and uneccessary, weaknesses. Those who have left should be our friends, not our enemies. They seek validation, connection, and healing. These are good people.

Today, there are 12.5 million inactive and former members. Our 5 million active members are vastly outnumbered. 70% of Mormons are either resigned or inactive. And…we keep creating more disaffected, disappointed and disillusioned people for the other side. Not to mention the anger that often accompanies faith transitions.

Yet, I have now witnessed these good, formerly active members respond to love, friendship and understanding. A few weeks ago, a Relief Society president and High Priest group secretary came to the Talkeria. They were looking for suggestions on how they could reach out to those who are questioning or have left. Wow! Also in attendance were 4 resigned or about to resign members. One of the “about to resigns” had been his ward’s HP group leader as recently as last March. Hidden history, doctrine, and current policies pushed him, his wife and his 4 children out. What an amazing discussion we had!!! Our “enemies” helping local leaders of the church in which they no longer believe.

Things have got to change. Our leaders in SLC know it. They are working on it. They’re in a really tough spot. Things actually boil down to what is being done in the trenches. I’m digging trenches as fast as I can.

Thanks for all that both of you are doing in service of the Savior and especially for my friends.

All My Best, Sam

Other Resources

The Only True Hope for the Only True Church

Jesus Pleads His Case for Common Consent

Do We Love Jesus Enough to…

A Resister for Disapproval (Opposition)

LDS Website on Common Consent

Final Note

I know this takes great courage.  Every step of the way can be scary.  Raising your hand alone, all by yourself?  I know it’s scary.  I’ve now done it at each conference level this year.  Big fat butterflies every time.

Sending an email to the stake president…yeah that can be real scary.  But, how scared do you think the gay children are who are still hiding in the pews?

Putting your name on a public register of disapproval…scary?   You bet.  It scared me, too, when I hit the submit button two days ago.

There are many in our midst who are at risk and cannot speak up.  We are standing up, voting out, putting our name on the line for those who cannot fight for themselves.

“May we maintain the courage to defy the consensus.  May we ever chose the harder right.”  And that’s just what we are doing here.  Standing up for the marginalized, for the “least of these,” IS a noble and just cause.

Godspeed. Godspeed.  Godspeed.

 

 

Do We Love Jesus Enough To…..

voting-opposedDo we love Jesus enough to…. stand up for what we believe is right?

Do we love Jesus enough to….stand up for the marginalized in our very midst?

Do we love Jesus enough to….stand up for those in our midst who are in danger?

Do we love Jesus enough to….be honest when Jesus asks for our opinion?

Do we love the church enough to….stand up and protect it as Jesus has designated?

Do we love the church enough to….participate in its governance as Jesus has designated?

Do we love the apostles enough to….be honest when they ask for our opinion?

Finally, do we love Jesus enough to….to follow Him?

General Conference

On Saturday October 1st, a very special event will occur.  At the general conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the Law of Common Consent will be put into practice.  This is a sacred opportunity for all members of the church to express their “approval” or “disapproval.”  (D&C 124:144)

This divine system of governance in the kingdom of God was declared by the Savior Himself.  In Doctrine & Covenants 28:13, “For ALL things MUST be done in order, and by common consent in the church.”

Can a person hold an office in the church without the consent of the people?

Nope.  “No man can preside in this Church in any capacity without the consent of the people. The Lord has placed upon us the responsibility of sustaining by vote those who are called to various positions of responsibility. No man, should the people decide to the contrary, could preside over any body of Latter-day Saints in this Church.” –LDS Website

Who should nominate the officers of the church?

“It is not the right of the people to nominate, to choose, for that is the right of the priesthood.” –LDS Website

Does Common Consent apply to more than just church officers?

Oh yes, so much more!!!   “This same principle operates for policies, major decisions, acceptance of new scripture, and other things that affect the lives of the Saints. (see D&C 26:2) LDS Website

And, there is the sticking point.  Today, no policies, no major decisions, not anything that affects the lives of the Saints are being presented nor accepted by common consent.  If we are opposed to any of the above, the only real option seems to be voting opposed to the general leadership.  Someday that will change.  Eventually, the membership will no longer tolerate disobedience of this plain and precious law of God.

If You Support Everything The Church Is Doing…

Please, carefully consider your vote.  A vote to sustain the prophets and apostles is a great way to vote.  I commend & support your action.

If You Generally Support Everything, But Have Concerns…

Please, carefully consider your vote.  Whether you abstain or vote in approval, good for you.  Your opinion is important to the governance of Christ’s church.

If You Have Major Issues with Policies “That affect the Lives of the Saints

Please, carefully consider your vote.  The unanimous votes that are recorded at General, Stake and Ward Conferences are sending a clear signal to SLC and to the general membership that “all is well in Zion.”  However, many feel that all is NOT well in Zion.  That includes me.

Jesus’ system of church governance addresses practical concerns.  Common Consent helps prevent errors, correct errors, provide accountability and put a check on “Unrighteous Dominion.” (D&C 121:39)

Besides practicality there is another side of Common Consent.  To me, this law is one of the most beautiful in our entire canon.  Most commandments are like:  “Do this…Do that…Don’t do this…Don’t do that!”  Oh…but this law is more like:  “Sam, you are of great worth.  I value your opinion.  I value your critical thinking.  I have commanded the apostles, whom I have put in place, to ask for your input.  When they do, please be honest.  I’m trusting and relying on you, Sam.”  When I consider how the Lord Jesus has set up the governance of His church, a tear of joy graces my eye.  He loves, respects and values each of us and our opinions.

If You are Opposed, I Encourage you to Vote Your Opinion

First, I know that many are constrained by fear.  Fear of family, friends, or business repercussions.  Those are legitimate considerations.  It’s an unfortunate element of today’s LDS culture that prevents full participation in the Law of Common Consent.  Your silence is understandable and certainly an honorable path.

Now, to the group in which I find myself:  Those who oppose and are willing to fully engage in the divine process of church voting.

Please, carefully consider casting a vote.  This is general conference (GC) and is the easiest of all the conferences.  The voting session occurs Saturday afternoon.  Here’s how you can effectively vote.

  • Attend GC in Salt Lake City.
  • Watch GC in your stake center or local chapel, if conference is broadcast there.
  • Watch or listen to GC in your home.
  • MOST IMPORTANT:  After the Saturday voting session, send an email to your bishop and Stake President.

Questions and Concerns

Do I have to spend time composing an e-mail?  Not necessarily.  Click here for examples.  Take ideas from it.  Modify it.  Or flat out copy it.

How will anyone know that there are actually members opposing?  Great question.   A Common Consent Register has now been created.  In this document you can record your name as having voted OPPOSED or planning to vote OPPOSED.  For many it is a scary experience…putting their name in full view of the public.  Certainly, it is a worthwhile cause to stand up for what we believe and to speak out for those who can’t speak for themselves.

What are the risks?  There shouldn’t be any risks to obeying a commandment from Jesus Christ in the church of Jesus Christ.  But, the risk is real.  I’ll address that in a blog post coming in the next few days.

Will I be asked to meet with a church leader?  It’s likely that the stake president or bishop will want to discuss with you.  That should be a very good thing.  It gives you the opportunity to explain your position.  In an ideal church, your opinion would be forwarded up the chain.  If a significant number of members engage in common consent, vote tallies will be taken seriously.  In the ‘risks’ posting, I’ll give some ideas for the interview with church leaders.

My Hope & Prayer

I love my church.  The church of my child and adulthood.  The church of my forefathers, my parents, my children, my grandchildren.  It’s a good church.  It’s the church of Jesus Christ.

I pray that good men and women all over the world will raise their hands and express their sincere and true opinions.  Jesus is counting on us.

I wish you Godspeed in this vital voting opportunity.