Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

thankyouWhat an amazing journey these past couple of years have been.  Not just for me, but for tens of thousands of us.  My heart often overflows with gratitude for what my new friends have done.  At this season of Thanksgiving I want to express my deep gratitude.

I’m not going to mention names for a couple of reasons.  First, for many people it’s not safe to be known as a supporter of this movement.  Second, so many people have been involved that I know I would forget somebody.


This journey did not begin with survivors in mind.  My objective was to see the LDS Church change its dangerous and inappropriate interview practices.  I had no idea that so much damage had been done over the past few decades.  I offer my thanks to the survivors and victims who have stepped forward and shared their stories.  Thank you for your courage.  Thank you for your support.  Thank you for your friendship.  Sharing your stories has helped countless people heal.  Your open and vulnerable words have reached the ears of parents and church leaders.  Many have taken action to protect children.  This is huge.

Helpers & Participants

Petitions.  Marches.  Temple-side chats.  Mountain climbs.  Press conferences.  Websites.  Facebook.  Youtube.  Samaritan gatherings.  Oh my gosh.  So many volunteers.  So many participants.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  I appreciate every single one of you who have helped out or participated.  It humbles me.  You have raised visibility to our children’s plight in ways that will ripple with good outcomes for years to come.

Spreading the Word

Unfortunately, it’s not always safe in the Mormon culture to openly speak about the cause of protecting children.  If it was too much of a risk for you to share this work, do not feel bad.  I know that you found other ways to support.  I want to give a shout out to all who did share on social media, who spoke with friends, family and acquaintances.  A big thank you to those who raised the issue with church leaders.  Some of them actually listened and responded favorably.  Some leaders took action against you.  Thank you for your fortitude in the face of censure.  Your sharing magnified our efforts a thousand fold.


All this has cost a ton of money.  Hundreds of you have generously helped out.  Donations from $1.00 on up to….well, let’s just say bigger, were received.  All were meaningful and helpful.  Those who donated know who you are.  Thank you.  Thank you very much.  Your money helped raise awareness in a big way.  And that awareness has saved many children and promoted much healing.


I know, I know.  I said no names.  What the heck.  Obedience has not always been my best suit, even to my own rules.  Only a very few.

Bertie Young Criddle, my mom:  She has been at my back pretty much every step of the may.  From the very first action at Temple square, to every press conference, march and then the weeks of the hunger strike.  Her  biggest aid came in the form of moral support.  Dark days of doubt and discouragement have been frequent companions.  And there was my mom cheering me on with the supreme confidence only a mother can have in her son.  Thanks mom.  I love you dearly!

John Dehlin:  In the summer of 2017, Protect LDS Children was a complete unknown.  At the outset, my friend John generously hosted me on his widely known platform, Mormon Stories Podcast.  He has given our cause a huge boost several times over the past 2 years.  Thanks John for your unflagging support and encouragement.

Tanisha Martin:  For over a year, Tanisha basically led from behind the scenes in countless ways.  She seemed to be an expert at everything.  Most of the time she just jumped in and got things done before I had any idea that they needed getting done.  Tanisha, you are awesome.  Thank you!

Tim Coray:  I met Tim in the Summer of 2018, shortly before the hunger strike.  I needed someone to help live-stream the nightly Temple-side Chats.  Tim volunteered.  We were together on the streets of Salt Lake City for over 3 weeks.  An amazing adventure.  For the next several months we continued to work together on other video projects for the cause, including coverage of the excommunication both in Houston and Salt Lake City.  We happened to be together for his birthday last fall in Houston.  I asked what he would like to do.  “Let’s go to a drag queen show.”  We did.  My first.  What a fun, delightful and eye-opening evening.  Thanks Tim, for everything!

Tyler Slack:  The Mountain Man.  For months he worked on planning a series of 11 consecutive climbs to unfurl banners on mountain peaks in Utah.  Then this summer,  he and I, accompanied by lots of other child protection advocates, ascended the summits.  It was tough.  But that Tyler is one tough cookie with an extraordinarily buoyant attitude.  Thanks Tyler for all the planning, phone calls, meetings, recommendations and redrafts.  Thanks for getting us to the top of every single peak…well except for Timp.  Only you made that one, you intrepid trail blazer.

Katie Moore:  An exceptional person.  The 2019 version of Tanisha.   Her analytical mind and perceptive eyes spotted various areas where Protect Every Child could  do better.  Out of the blue, she contacted me and started making wonderful suggestions.  I queried if she would like to put her ideas into action.  She enthusiastically took on task after task after task.  Not only was she the right-hand man (woman), she was also the left-hand, and seemed to have a bunch of other hands.  Thanks Katie for your tireless dedication and commitment to our noble cause.

I could add name after name after name.  Please forgive me for not listing yours.  Just know that I appreciate everyone and everything.  All the support.  All the encouragement.  All the work.  Even the heartache that many of you have expended in benefit of protecting our precious kids.

May you feel uplift and fulfillment at what we have managed to accomplish.  We are not done.  Plans for the future are in the offing and will take shape over the coming months.

Appreciation, godspeed and love to you, my lovely friends.


Lean not unto thine own understanding…NOT!

The Creation of Adam by MichelangeloThe Salt Lake Tribune recently published an article entitled Polygamy lives on in LDS temples.  One of the comments got my attention.

“I found Dallin H. Oaks’ talk from this last General Conference appropriate and inspiring. We would do well to trust in the Lord more, and lean not unto our own understanding. Removing canon to make ourselves comfortable sounds a lot like fashioning a god after our own image.”  

Jasmin Gimenez Rappleye, Spanish Fork

Jasmin refers to a famous scripture found in Proverbs 3:5.

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

Nonsense. At the ripe old age of 67, I am absolutely going to lean unto mine own understanding. Why?

For over six decades, I was schooled in the morality of the Mormon god. I believed in him. I leaned into his understanding.  Well guess what. That god wasn’t so great.  I was blinded as to his true nature.   Now I see him clearly. His character is steeped in racism, genocide, homophobia, misogyny and a weird focus on child masturbation practices.  Why in the world would I lean unto those understandings?  No way. Not anymore.

The commenter’s final sentence:

Removing canon to make ourselves comfortable sounds a lot like fashioning a god after our own image.”

This god WAS fashioned after the image of men.  Men of a particular nature…racist, homophobic and misogynistic. Men looking to justify their own genocides.  Men who have a weird proclivity to pry into how children touch themselves.   To me this is obviously a god invented in the image of man.

On this day 67 years ago, I took my first breath on the planet earth. On this day 67 years later, I celebrate a God fashioned in my own mind. My God is patterned after the teachings and example of Jesus Christ.

His parables, beatitudes and encouragements have always appealed to me.  Only in the last few years have I come to more fully appreciate His example.  And what an amazing examplar He was.

Today, I lean unto my own understanding which has been well seasoned with Christ’s preaching and prototype.  I have spit out the distasteful seasoning of my former god who was fashioned in someone else’s image.

Happy birthday to me. Life is good


The Book of Mormon—Teaching Immorality


In 2018, the topic of a priesthood lesson in my local congregation was ‘revelation.’  The instructor used a story found in Alma 14:7-15.  In this passage an evil community rounded up all the women and children who believed in the “word of God” and cast them into a pit to be burned alive.

A prophet of God, Alma, and his companion, Amulek were brought to the edge of the pit to witness the horrendous pains of the innocents being consumed by fire.  Amulek called out to the prophet to save the women and children.  The prophet informed his troubled companion that he could not.  God had revealed His will.  Even though they had the power, these ever obedient servants were not to intervene.  The women and children were to be consumed in flames.  Although they were innocent believers, they must die so that evil people could commit evil acts to reveal that they were really really evil.

Oh what twisted & vile logic is presented here as an example of how God’s revelation operates.  This is not an admirable god.  Immorality, plain and simple, is purported as righteousness.  What a horrendous scripture.  What a savage and rotten god.

After the instructor’s presentation of the story, a conversation ensued about how this revelation was transmitted to Alma.  The moral of the immoral story was that God communicated through the Holy Ghost and that we too can receive revelation in the same manner.

As the discussion continued, I reread the passage.  I stewed.  My uneasy mind rebelled.  Finally, I raised my hand and said, “If I had the power to save one child, I would completely disregard god’s command.  I’d jump into that pit and pull out as many women & children as I could.”  The deliberation promptly ended and we moved to the next example of revelation.  It was much less egregious.

If I were in that class today, here’s what I would add to my comments.  “If god fussed at me for my disobedience, I would say to him, “You were going to burn these innocent human beings alive to facilitate depraved people going to hell!!!  You’re an evil bastard and I want no part of you or your kingdom.”

Effect of Immoral Teachings

I have been asked,  Why do leaders and most members of the LDS Church turn a blind eye to all the abuse that occurs in the Church?  Why are pedophiles so often protected while victims are brushed aside?  Why did the presentation of thousands of horror stories behind bishop’s closed doors not incite appropriate policy changes?

Well guess what.  This attitude is taught and glorified in sacred Mormon scripture.  Alma and Amulek turned a blind eye to the cries of terror & pain as women and children were in the throes of a dreadful death.  These prophets are revered in Mormon culture.

Immorality at its worst.  If any story should be excised from the LDS canon, this is it.  Instead, they excommunicate those incapable of turning a blind eye.

May our society stop turning a blind eye to our children’s plight.  That’s up to us, you and me!!!


At the end of the scripture below, the screams of the women and children are finally silenced as their bodies are converted into smoldering embers.  The baddies then slap the prophets across the face and ask, “What say ye for yourselves?”

What a question!  Of course, they had no answer.  What they should have said?  “We have made a huge & tragic mistake.  We condoned evil to take place when we could have prevented it.  Our regret will dog us us the rest of our lives.  We beg for forgiveness.”

Alma 14:7-15

And it came to pass that he began to cry unto the people, saying: Behold, I am guilty, and these men are spotless before God. And he began to plead for them from that time forth; but they reviled him, saying: Art thou also possessed with the devil? And they spit upon him, and cast him out from among them, and also all those who believed in the words which had been spoken by Alma and Amulek; and they cast them out, and sent men to cast stones at them.

And they brought their wives and children together, and whosoever believed or had been taught to believe in the word of God they caused that they should be cast into the fire; and they also brought forth their records which contained the holy scriptures, and cast them into the fire also, that they might be burned and destroyed by fire.

And it came to pass that they took Alma and Amulek, and carried them forth to the place of martyrdom, that they might witness the destruction of those who were consumed by fire.

10 And when Amulek saw the pains of the women and children who were consuming in the fire, he also was pained; and he said unto Alma: How can we witness this awful scene? Therefore let us stretch forth our hands, and exercise the power of God which is in us, and save them from the flames.

11 But Alma said unto him: The Spirit constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their hearts, that the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them, yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day.

12 Now Amulek said unto Alma: Behold, perhaps they will burn us also.

13 And Alma said: Be it according to the will of the Lord. But, behold, our work is not finished; therefore they burn us not.

14 Now it came to pass that when the bodies of those who had been cast into the fire were consumed, and also the records which were cast in with them, the chief judge of the land came and stood before Alma and Amulek, as they were bound; and he smote them with his hand upon their cheeks, and said unto them: After what ye have seen, will ye preach again unto this people, that they shall be cast into a lake of fire and brimstone?

15 Behold, ye see that ye had not power to save those who had been cast into the fire; neither has God saved them because they were of thy faith. And the judge smote them again upon their cheeks, and asked: What say ye for yourselves?

The Day Mormon god Died

Boxers.jpgNovember 5, 2015!  That’s the day Mormon god died in my heart.  Today is the 4 year anniversary of his sudden death.

While driving to work exactly 4 years ago, I became aware of a new and highly offensive policy.  The Mormon Church didn’t announce it.  It was unceremoniously leaked.  The Church attempted to silently insert their new protocol into the secret Handbook of Instructions.  It’s reserved as eyes-only for bishops, stake presidents and general authorities.   The new policy barred children of gay parents from baby blessings, baptism, confirmation, the gift of the Holy Ghost, receiving the priesthood and temple attendance.  These severe restrictions could only be lifted when the child met all following conditions:

  1. Reached the age of 18.
  2. Moved out of the home of the gay parents.
  3. Disavowed the lifestyle of the gay parents.

I was immediately struck with anger and disappointment.  This was not the God that I loved and respected.  This was not the Christ I revered.  The new policy was as far away from the gospel of Jesus as one could get.  Yet the modern-day apostles pinned the blame on the Savior.  It still makes me sick to even type this.

HYPOCRITES of the highest order.  Christ was the epitome of standing up for the marginalized, the vulnerable and those on the fringes of society.  Here, the Mormon Church leadership was openly shunning children, the most vulnerable children.  And they had the gall to call it LOVE!  It was HATE!!!

That fateful morning, I was done with the Mormon church.  Over the previous year, I had already been troubled by the historical deceptions that were coming to light.  Somehow I managed to find a way around those problems and to stay in as an active member.  But this was way too much.  To openly disrespect the gospel of Jesus Christ and plainly lead the blindly following sheep into darkness.  Nope, I couldn’t countenance that.

So, I exited the freeway and bee-lined it to the local department store.   For the first time in 44 years, I purchased…boxers.  When I reached the office, I took off the Mormon underwear (garments) and planned to never return to an LDS service.  Pictured above is a pair of my colorful new underwear.  This picture was taken 2 weeks ago.  Out of sight but not out of mind, they have served me well these past 4 years.

That night my wife discovered my body was garment-less and boxer-bearing.  If you are or have been Mormon, you know that it would have caused a huge shock.  So much so, that divorce was mentioned.  Immediately, my garments went back on.  My marriage was more important than my damn underwear.

Until the excommunication, I clothed myself night and day in Mormon mandated skivvies.  Even though I continued to attend church, I was not going to remain silent.  While the policy flagrantly flew in the face of Christ’s teachings, I was determined to embrace His example in ways I had never done before.  He stood up openly to the power structure of His time.  Calling the church leadership out in harsh terms.  From November 5, 2015 until September 12, 2018 (Date of Excommunication), I voted opposed at every ward, stake and general conference.

On April 4 of this year, Mormon god changed his mind about this whole debacle.  At least that’s what the ‘Prophet’ told the world.  Nope.  Sorry buddy.  You aren’t going to sucker me into your made-up delusions again.  You, not God, concocted the original exclusion policy.  You recognized it was big trouble, decided to blame the whole thing on God and put it behind you.  If the meantime, children have died by suicide in the wake of this horrendous policy.  YOUR policy.

Mormon god has died a garment-less death in my heart.  Thank heavens.

Happy/sad Anniversary.