Masturbation…Once a Week? Or is Daily Better?


I’ve now written 6 blog posts about the Mormon church’s masturbation interviews with children.  Three were posted in the last 12 days.  This will be #4 in the past 2 weeks.  So why do I continue writing?

Well…I’m now receiving feedback from parents who have resolved to protect their children from inappropriate probing questions behind closed doors.  Here’s what I’m thinking.  Each blog post is worth it…

  • If…it alerts one parent to the dangers of bishopric masturbation interviews.
  • If…it helps one parent resolve to protect their children at church.
  • If…it saves one child from being subjected to a harmful masturbation interview.
  • If…it saves one child from inappropriate and damaging shame and guilt.
  • If…it saves one child from decades of sexual dysfunction.
  • If…it prevents sexual repression from a future marriage that is not scarred by years of childhood probings by untrained men, behind closed doors, all alone, without parental knowledge or consent.

So there it is.  Masturbation interviews….should I write warnings once a week?  Or is daily better?

Parents Protecting Their Children

Here’s a sampling of recent messages sent to me.  Good for these active, believing church members.

Message #1:   Prompted by the topic of Sam Young’s recent posts (bishops asking probing, detailed, sexual questions in closed-door interviews with underage girls), I have talked with my spouse as it concerns our daughter and potential future interviews with priesthood leaders. I related to her some of the disgusting things that can happen behind the closed doors of priesthood leaders’ offices.  My wife agreed that our daughter will NEVER undergo an interview with anyone in a church setting alone/by herself.  If my daughter ever goes to an interview, we are in agreement that at least one of us as her parent will be present in the room at all times.  And if some bishop insists that she can’t progress with baptism/whatever unless he interviews her alone… well, then so be it!

Message #2:  I broached this subject with my husband and he agreed as well. Because I don’t have trust that the request will always be adhered to by the bishop/local leaders, I went to my daughter and discussed with her the decision her dad and I had made. I let her know this is a boundary that we have made as a family and that she has the authority and power to uphold that boundary should she ever be asked for an interview by herself.

Message #3:   This is exactly what I have approved with my wife. What a gift to your children. I wonder if enough people start demanding this if the church will make a statement or adjust a policy, either to open it up, or shut it down. A friend recently told me that his bishop told him in detail HOW to masturbate BEFORE he had a chance to figure it out on his own, yikes. His parents would have been furious.  I’m glad my kids won’t have these discussions.

Message #4:  I saw your posts about inappropriate questions bishops ask and was totally shocked!  So, I asked a large Mormon mom group about their experiences with bishops asking their children, or even themselves, inappropriate questions.  I personally have only been asked if I was following the law of chastity.  So, it never occurred to me that anyone would be asked anything else.  I’m getting notifications left and right of new stories.  Lots of totally inappropriate ones.

Someone’s 12 year old daughter was asked if she had engaged in sexual intercourse and he explained what that meant.  Others said that a bishop explained ways you could masturbate.  One woman who was baptized a few years ago was angry and upset no one told her masturbation was breaking the law of chastity.

There was story after story.  It was so shocking.  As a newer member, I appreciate you posting this.  I will not be letting a bishop ask my children anything without myself there.  Lots of women in my group came to that same conclusion.  So, thank you so much for talking about difficult things.

Message #5:   Called my ex to talk about my son’s upcoming baptism interview, ready to fight about closed doors and demand a parent in the room.  Surprisingly, he cut me off at the top of my inquiry and said, “I will be in the room during all of our boys’ (we have two) interviews from here until their mission interview at 18. The bishop has been warned to never ask about masturbation. Ever.

Message #6:   A 13 year old female friend in the 70s was asked by a pillar of the community bishop to describe HOW she masturbated. Under no circumstances should any parent allow a child alone with a bishop. Especially considering they have apparently been instructed to discuss “chastity” issues with 7 year olds in baptismal interviews.

Insightful Comment from a Former Bishop

“I can’t believe they still think masturbation is a sin. That’s another thing I realized as bishop. I masturbated my whole life, during my mission and all. I figured if I could be called as a bishop and masturbated, God didn’t care. I never asked anyone about it. To the few people who tried to confess it, I told them not to worry about it, and said it wasn’t a big deal at all. When I heard members of the stake presidency preach about it, I thought to myself, these men are such hypocrites. They masturbate all the time, and they preach against it.”


Do you disapprove of private, closed door, masturbation interviews with your children?  If so, feel free to express disapproval on the Common Consent Register found HERE.

7 thoughts on “Masturbation…Once a Week? Or is Daily Better?

  1. Yes! Yes!! A thousand times YES!!! I 100% disapprive. I have personally been asked sexually probing questions and find it reprehensible.
    Thank you, Sam, for doing what you can to make a difference; one individual at a time.


  2. Hi, Sam!

    Thank you for shining your bazillion candlepower bright shining light on this institutionalized perversion.

    My own stunning, blue-eyed blonde niece reported she had to push her bishop off of her when he hugged her a bit too warmly at the conclusion of her worthiness interview . . . many moons ago. The temptation of a joseph-smith-class hot teenager . . . captive behind closed doors . . . was just too much to resist.

    Sam, please feel free to delete this next sentence, or this entire post.

    What did you expect from a Quorum+3 of Professional Jerk-Offs?

    It just AIN’T a church that Jesus would ever put his name on . . . Not by a long shot.

    Any rational parent — whose own personal brain has not been hopelessly addled and compromised by Correlated Mind Control Programming since b.i.c. — would GUARANTEE that their child would NEVER be molested by a Mormon bishop.


    Dirt simple. Never ever again darken the door of any building whose floorplan includes a Bishop’s Office.

    Problem solved!

    It’s not complicated. Unfortunately, it IS difficult to do the right thing after a lifetime of allowing others to do most of you important thinking for you.

    PS – How many of you have figured out that Joseph Smith was talking about hot girls when he wrote these prophetic words (amazingly autobiographical, btw):

    ” . . . If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praise worthy, we seek after these things.”


  3. Just wondering if any parent has had a conversation with their Bishops or Stake Presidencies about this matter and what was said. Where is the council coming from, because not all Bishops are doing this. In fact I would venture that the number is few compared to the whole. I also wonder if the Bishop is asking these probing questions to all his youth or to just ones he may have heard something about. I knew a Bishop who called a young man of 14-15 yrs old into his office for an interview to talk about what the young man knew about pornography. It seems the Bishop was standing around some of the youth talking. This particular young man was texting to a girl. The Bishop looked down at what the boy was texting. He was Sexting and saying some very suggestive things. The Bishop had the young man in for an interview and the kid was oblivious to what the Bishop was talking about. He wasn’t watching Pornography…he was just texting his girlfriend and since they hadn’t acted upon any their talking about it, it was okay. Really? There are some kids out there that have no idea and others who know it all. As parents, who do you want teaching your children.?


  4. So, my question is for bishops who only ask, “Do you live the law of chastity?” as they’re apparently supposed to, and the teen says, “Ummm…no.” The bishop sure as hell isn’t going to leave it at that. The questions will begin there, regardless of which bishop, MOST of the time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is the only response the bishop should give if someone says they haven’t kept the law of chastity.

      The bishop should remind them of how Jesus treated the woman who was caught in adultery. He should teach that Jesus forgives. Jesus forgives always. His forgiveness is immediate. He should encourage them to take the sacrament immediately.

      The bishop shouldn’t ask for or want any details. They are totally irrelevant.

      The idea that it takes time to repent is reminiscent of Catholic ideas. It’s like you have to say 50 “Our Father’s,” and 50 “Hail Mary’s,” etc…

      The only thing a bishop should teach is that Christ forgives. Even Jesus asked, “how often would I have gathered you…. and my arms are stretched out still.”

      His arms are stretched out still.

      You don’t have to clean yourself to be worthy to stand in His presence. You can’t do that. He is the one who makes you clean. He is the one who makes you worthy. You just need to come to Him as you are. With all of your imperfections.

      Hebrews 7 said perfection never came by the law. In other words, you can’t obey your way into heaven. King Benjamin said the exact same thing in Mosiah. You can work all your days, but you will still be unworthy. Christ is the only one who makes you worthy.

      Christ loves. Christ makes you holy. The only commandment you should follow is, love God, and love your neighbor. The end. If you followed that guidance, everything else will take care of itself.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. I was Baptised in June 2017 and am 57. Until my post Baptism Bishop interview, my views on masturbation were back burner curio type. Since then, the topic has been a big learing curve. If I were Bishop, I would defend both sides and have at least one witness. This topic deserves attention and witnesses. But so does marrying young to reduce masturbation.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s