The Book of Mormon—Teaching Immorality

BurningReally?

In 2018, the topic of a priesthood lesson in my local congregation was ‘revelation.’  The instructor used a story found in Alma 14:7-15.  In this passage an evil community rounded up all the women and children who believed in the “word of God” and cast them into a pit to be burned alive.

A prophet of God, Alma, and his companion, Amulek were brought to the edge of the pit to witness the horrendous pains of the innocents being consumed by fire.  Amulek called out to the prophet to save the women and children.  The prophet informed his troubled companion that he could not.  God had revealed His will.  Even though they had the power, these ever obedient servants were not to intervene.  The women and children were to be consumed in flames.  Although they were innocent believers, they must die so that evil people could commit evil acts to reveal that they were really really evil.

Oh what twisted & vile logic is presented here as an example of how God’s revelation operates.  This is not an admirable god.  Immorality, plain and simple, is purported as righteousness.  What a horrendous scripture.  What a savage and rotten god.

After the instructor’s presentation of the story, a conversation ensued about how this revelation was transmitted to Alma.  The moral of the immoral story was that God communicated through the Holy Ghost and that we too can receive revelation in the same manner.

As the discussion continued, I reread the passage.  I stewed.  My uneasy mind rebelled.  Finally, I raised my hand and said, “If I had the power to save one child, I would completely disregard god’s command.  I’d jump into that pit and pull out as many women & children as I could.”  The deliberation promptly ended and we moved to the next example of revelation.  It was much less egregious.

If I were in that class today, here’s what I would add to my comments.  “If god fussed at me for my disobedience, I would say to him, “You were going to burn these innocent human beings alive to facilitate depraved people going to hell!!!  You’re an evil bastard and I want no part of you or your kingdom.”

Effect of Immoral Teachings

I have been asked,  Why do leaders and most members of the LDS Church turn a blind eye to all the abuse that occurs in the Church?  Why are pedophiles so often protected while victims are brushed aside?  Why did the presentation of thousands of horror stories behind bishop’s closed doors not incite appropriate policy changes?

Well guess what.  This attitude is taught and glorified in sacred Mormon scripture.  Alma and Amulek turned a blind eye to the cries of terror & pain as women and children were in the throes of a dreadful death.  These prophets are revered in Mormon culture.

Immorality at its worst.  If any story should be excised from the LDS canon, this is it.  Instead, they excommunicate those incapable of turning a blind eye.

May our society stop turning a blind eye to our children’s plight.  That’s up to us, you and me!!!

Answer

At the end of the scripture below, the screams of the women and children are finally silenced as their bodies are converted into smoldering embers.  The baddies then slap the prophets across the face and ask, “What say ye for yourselves?”

What a question!  Of course, they had no answer.  What they should have said?  “We have made a huge & tragic mistake.  We condoned evil to take place when we could have prevented it.  Our regret will dog us us the rest of our lives.  We beg for forgiveness.”

Alma 14:7-15

And it came to pass that he began to cry unto the people, saying: Behold, I am guilty, and these men are spotless before God. And he began to plead for them from that time forth; but they reviled him, saying: Art thou also possessed with the devil? And they spit upon him, and cast him out from among them, and also all those who believed in the words which had been spoken by Alma and Amulek; and they cast them out, and sent men to cast stones at them.

And they brought their wives and children together, and whosoever believed or had been taught to believe in the word of God they caused that they should be cast into the fire; and they also brought forth their records which contained the holy scriptures, and cast them into the fire also, that they might be burned and destroyed by fire.

And it came to pass that they took Alma and Amulek, and carried them forth to the place of martyrdom, that they might witness the destruction of those who were consumed by fire.

10 And when Amulek saw the pains of the women and children who were consuming in the fire, he also was pained; and he said unto Alma: How can we witness this awful scene? Therefore let us stretch forth our hands, and exercise the power of God which is in us, and save them from the flames.

11 But Alma said unto him: The Spirit constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their hearts, that the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them, yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day.

12 Now Amulek said unto Alma: Behold, perhaps they will burn us also.

13 And Alma said: Be it according to the will of the Lord. But, behold, our work is not finished; therefore they burn us not.

14 Now it came to pass that when the bodies of those who had been cast into the fire were consumed, and also the records which were cast in with them, the chief judge of the land came and stood before Alma and Amulek, as they were bound; and he smote them with his hand upon their cheeks, and said unto them: After what ye have seen, will ye preach again unto this people, that they shall be cast into a lake of fire and brimstone?

15 Behold, ye see that ye had not power to save those who had been cast into the fire; neither has God saved them because they were of thy faith. And the judge smote them again upon their cheeks, and asked: What say ye for yourselves?

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The Day Mormon god Died

Boxers.jpgNovember 5, 2015!  That’s the day Mormon god died in my heart.  Today is the 4 year anniversary of his sudden death.

While driving to work exactly 4 years ago, I became aware of a new and highly offensive policy.  The Mormon Church didn’t announce it.  It was unceremoniously leaked.  The Church attempted to silently insert their new protocol into the secret Handbook of Instructions.  It’s reserved as eyes-only for bishops, stake presidents and general authorities.   The new policy barred children of gay parents from baby blessings, baptism, confirmation, the gift of the Holy Ghost, receiving the priesthood and temple attendance.  These severe restrictions could only be lifted when the child met all following conditions:

  1. Reached the age of 18.
  2. Moved out of the home of the gay parents.
  3. Disavowed the lifestyle of the gay parents.

I was immediately struck with anger and disappointment.  This was not the God that I loved and respected.  This was not the Christ I revered.  The new policy was as far away from the gospel of Jesus as one could get.  Yet the modern-day apostles pinned the blame on the Savior.  It still makes me sick to even type this.

HYPOCRITES of the highest order.  Christ was the epitome of standing up for the marginalized, the vulnerable and those on the fringes of society.  Here, the Mormon Church leadership was openly shunning children, the most vulnerable children.  And they had the gall to call it LOVE!  It was HATE!!!

That fateful morning, I was done with the Mormon church.  Over the previous year, I had already been troubled by the historical deceptions that were coming to light.  Somehow I managed to find a way around those problems and to stay in as an active member.  But this was way too much.  To openly disrespect the gospel of Jesus Christ and plainly lead the blindly following sheep into darkness.  Nope, I couldn’t countenance that.

So, I exited the freeway and bee-lined it to the local department store.   For the first time in 44 years, I purchased…boxers.  When I reached the office, I took off the Mormon underwear (garments) and planned to never return to an LDS service.  Pictured above is a pair of my colorful new underwear.  This picture was taken 2 weeks ago.  Out of sight but not out of mind, they have served me well these past 4 years.

That night my wife discovered my body was garment-less and boxer-bearing.  If you are or have been Mormon, you know that it would have caused a huge shock.  So much so, that divorce was mentioned.  Immediately, my garments went back on.  My marriage was more important than my damn underwear.

Until the excommunication, I clothed myself night and day in Mormon mandated skivvies.  Even though I continued to attend church, I was not going to remain silent.  While the policy flagrantly flew in the face of Christ’s teachings, I was determined to embrace His example in ways I had never done before.  He stood up openly to the power structure of His time.  Calling the church leadership out in harsh terms.  From November 5, 2015 until September 12, 2018 (Date of Excommunication), I voted opposed at every ward, stake and general conference.

On April 4 of this year, Mormon god changed his mind about this whole debacle.  At least that’s what the ‘Prophet’ told the world.  Nope.  Sorry buddy.  You aren’t going to sucker me into your made-up delusions again.  You, not God, concocted the original exclusion policy.  You recognized it was big trouble, decided to blame the whole thing on God and put it behind you.  If the meantime, children have died by suicide in the wake of this horrendous policy.  YOUR policy.

Mormon god has died a garment-less death in my heart.  Thank heavens.

Happy/sad Anniversary.

Another LDS Stake Takes Steps Towards Comprehensive Protection for Their Children

British Flag 2Adventures in LDS Safeguarding in the UK – Some great news!

By Peter Bleakley

Safeguarding children from sexual abuse in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is absolutely the last thing I want to even think about, never mind get involved in proactive advocating for.  It is disturbing, depressing and it should definitely be someone else’s responsibility.  But the tragic reality is that the people who should be taking responsibility for it too often are not, specially at the top of our global organisation, so it has by default become the job of grass roots members to do the Mormon thing and take action where there is a need.

As I grew up in the Church the first I became aware of this being an issue was when a relative of mine in Ireland was supporting a victim of abuse and having their testimony and trust in the priesthood leadership rocked by the dreadful failures in how they responded to the situation.  It was my first glimpse of all the key ingredients of the horrors that ripple out from LDS child abuse scandals still today – totally untrained local clergy not knowing how to be professional, blaming the victim, letting their perpetrator buddies in the old boys’ network off lightly, demanding that everyone forgive and forget quickly and not cause a public scandal or prosecution, and if the victim’s families refuse to play that game turning the social and legal resources of the Church and its community against them.

Some local leaders do a far better job than that, but not enough of them.  There have been some baby steps of improvement in the Church’s global practices, but not enough of them.

Nothing focuses your mind on the urgent need to revolutionise our safeguarding practices like having a case of child abuse in your own family or ward, or in my case moving into a ward still reeling from the aftermath of a serving bishop being convicted and imprisoned for child abuse-related offenses as we did a few years ago.  It strips away all the comforting buffer zones of wishful thinking and complacency and tears open a wound that is very hard to heal for everyone.  Every parent questions why they sent their children into one-to-one interviews with that person with a mandate to discuss the most private details of their sexual selves and experiences.  They agonise over what might have been, or actually was.  The abuser’s line managers and fellow leaders question how it was they felt spiritual witnesses confirming that they should sustain and ordain that person to a position of authority and responsibility when they were absolutely the last person God would have wanted or needed in that position of trust.  The families of the perpetrator and victims are embarrassed and traumatized.  Nothing will ever be the same again.

And then hopefully the inevitable next question is, how on earth did we as responsible adults who know that child abuse happens and have professional safeguarding training in many of our workplaces let this happen on our watch?  In our sphere of influence?  In an organisation where children should be the most safe and protected they can possibly be?  How is it possible in the Church of the Christ who valued children above all others?  Who talked about putting millstones around necks and drowning anyone hurting them?  How is it that instead of prioritising the safety of children we created written policies and cultural norms that prioritised the public reputation of the institution, the public reputation of the adult abusers, and the damaging opinions of General Authorities speaking from their out-dated and ignorant social conditioning in isolated Midwestern American religious communities instead of professional expertise and basic common sense?

Soon after that I became aware of Sam Young’s heroic campaign to Protect LDS Children that has evolved into Protect Every Child, and I started researching the Church’s official policies and guidelines regarding safeguarding.  I discovered policy statements and official declarations of an ethos of safeguarding on the Church website that were not just inaccurate wishful thinking, they were objectively delusional.  They were claiming that the LDS Church is not aware of anyone that has better safeguarding procedures than ours when in fact in the community of churches ours are among the absolute worst, and people have been telling them this for years.  They have finally had the shame to seriously edit their press release and remove most of the crazy claims about a ‘gold standard’, but still it seems no one with any professional safeguarding expertise has had anything to do with formulating either their propaganda or procedures.

I also discovered that the Church already practices several ingredients of our wish list in Australia.  There it is a legal requirement for anyone working with young people to have a regular background check and a card confirming this or all hell breaks loose, so the LDS Church is very careful to ensure this is followed.  People cannot be called or remain in a position working with young people if that legally mandated scrutiny lapses. They still have one to one interviews I expect, but it is a glimpse of how things could be everywhere.

My anger about the negligence became personal as I reflected on the impact throughout my adolescence and young adulthood of constant ‘worthiness’ interviews and the uninformed and unhealthy rhetoric, expectations and mind games played with LDS young regarding all things sexual.  We are fed into a mincer that piles on guilt about totally normal sexual feelings and explorations from before some of us even begin puberty.  My priesthood interviewers were unfailingly kind and exemplary role models and dear friends to whom I am profoundly grateful for their years of service contributing to my peers and I having a fantastic youth in many ways, but as they were instructed to I was regularly asked about whether I masturbated.  Like most young Mormons I soon began to learn to lie and declare I was ‘morally clean’ when I knew by those criteria I was not.

I felt guilt ridden and ‘unworthy’ pretty much all the time but my embarrassment was so deep I couldn’t bear to talk about it to anyone and only risked confessing twice at points when I was pretty sure the repercussions would be minimal.   As so many Latter-Day Saints and their therapists have described as they have reflected on this, our consciences kind of split into our public religious life and our secret shame.  Now as I reflect from an adult perspective, instead of feeling bad about that I am incredibly relieved that I protected my privacy.  I now understand that that whole process of intrusive scrutiny of children was completely unethical and psychologically unhealthy.

Young people put into a situation of an inherently abusive power relationship will have something click in their brains to protect themselves from dangerous intrusion and instinctively lie to protect their psyche from a clear and present threat.  Of course the religious indoctrination is so intense that, believing they are speaking to a man representing actual God with a magical ‘power of discernment’ to read their minds who should be answered honestly as if they are Jesus Christ because religiously there is no difference at all, many young people will not have the strength to protect their privacy by lying or simply calling their bluff and refusing to disclose such private information.  They will admit to their terrible crimes that according to the ‘For the Strength of Youth’ booklet and the teachings of the LDS prophets are all, ALL of them, even having sexual thoughts, “second only to murder.”

I would love to go back in time to my 12 year old self, pat me on the head and say “Quit feeling guilty – you are absolutely doing the right thing.  No one should be asking you about this, you are a normal healthy kid protecting your dignity and privacy.  These well-meaning but totally untrained men are not Gods, and you are frankly a proper goody two shoes.  Drugs are still bad, but definitely go to some live music concerts while these bands you love are at their peak.  Satan didn’t write their music and in the 2010’s no one even talks about that any more in the Church. Or the occult paranoia and Ouija Boards…. but I’ll let you find out about what Joseph Smith was up to with all that when you’re older and not spoil the fun.”

Most of our young people under the regime of regular harassment just go inactive and never come back.  Jana Reiss’ recent research has confirmed what we all know from our own wards, that the young teenage years are when the LDS Church loses most of the 80% of its young people globally who leave by their mid-twenties.  Why are we surprised when this is what we do to them?!  Those that stay and are honest are often fed into a totally unprofessional psychodrama of shaming Church discipline with disfellowshipment, young men having to very obviously say “No” when asked to pass the sacrament, not taking the sacrament in front of your family and entire ward, and even worse these days in the hysterical paranoia about pornography coming out of LDS communities in Deseret, being labelled an “Addict” completely inaccurately, and even being fed into the Addiction Recovery Program.  Meanwhile those of us unwilling or unaware that we should be confessing these things to our bishop look squeaky clean and progress unscrutinised through our young Church lives.

The whole thing is a mess of injustice, trauma, secrets and lies in stark contrast to what are meant to be our religious ideals and values.  I had pretty close to the mildest experience possible for a youth in the Church, beaten only by those lucky few who won leadership roulette and were never once asked about specific sexual things in interviews because their leaders were in a different branch of the random tree of leadership awareness and formative experience and passing on different norms through their lines of non-training.  But it was still far more of a burden of guilt, confusion and worry than I should ever have had to carry.

As a teacher in a boys’ secondary school with experience of delivering sex and contraception education and receiving the professional child safeguarding training that is now the norm in schools, professions and most voluntary and religious settings and organisations, I am not shy about speaking about these matters.  When Sam Young asked through social media if any supporters of the Protect Every Child campaign and petition in the UK were willing be interviewed by a journalist who had approached him, I and two others gladly volunteered and to our amazement found ourselves with a 10-15 minute slot on the BBC’s flagship news channel daily chat program ‘The Victoria Derbyshire Show’ and headed to the iconic Broadcasting House in London.  Our interviewer was superb and we were able to share our concerns in a respectful but clear way, particularly making the points that these interviews actually introduce young Mormons to the sexual practices they are meant to be deterring in unhealthy ways, and that as a body of millions of lay clergy the adult men and women running our congregations understand and practice modern safeguarding at work, but tragically too often throw it all in the bin as soon as we walk through the chapel doors.

The Church recently released a slightly interactive safeguarding training film that it will now require all members working with young people to review regularly.  This tipped me over the edge into full rage.  It claims to have been produced in collaboration with professionals, but I cannot see a shred of evidence for that anywhere in its content.  Even calling it safeguarding training is a deception.  It simply isn’t.  It’s one point repeated over and over is basically that no adult should be alone with a young person.  But it completely ignores the compulsory worthiness interviews where they often are.  They might as well not exist.  It doesn’t even take the opportunity to remind everyone of the recent change that a young person (not their parent…) can request a second adult in the room.  That’s more than negligence, it’s intentional.  And the thought that this is replacing the much more thorough professional training provided by Boy Scouts of America that at least some LDS youth leaders in the USA used to get is even more perplexing.

Real professional standard safeguarding training teaches you that an adult should never be alone with a child even once in any circumstances ever unless you are a professionally trained and supervised counsellor.  It teaches you what you must and must not do and say if a child discloses abuse to you so that you do not ask leading questions or screw up a criminal investigation.  It teaches you who your safeguarding line managers are, and who to talk to above them if you are not satisfied with their response.  It teaches you how to report suspicions you have about potential abuse to the right trained people in your organisation.  It teaches you exactly what physical and emotional signs to look for in a victim of abuse.  It teaches you how to speak to that child and reassure them as the adult they have chosen to trust, and what to do to ensure their immediate safety.  This stuff is safeguarding 101.  None of it is in the new official ‘training’ that isn’t training. This is why we must use actual professionals to deliver training in our stakes and wards until the in-house training matches basic professional standards.

In response to the scandals in our area, the UK government’s enquiries into safeguarding and abuse cover-ups in the Catholic and Anglican Churches, and the Protect Every Child campaign all shining a light on the matter, plus basic common sense, my stake leadership have been fantastic.  They decided that a much more robust protocol was required to fulfill the Church’s avowed intent, repeated in a statement at the end of our TV appearance by the Europe Area Presidency, to always be seeking ways to improve our safeguarding.  They consulted with several stake members who have high level professional responsibility for delivering safeguarding training in their professional careers.  They consulted with a Welsh member of the Church who is involved in safeguarding policies and training with the United Nations, who also delivered some excellent training for the young people and adults in our stake about the ethos and principles of a safeguarding community.  They even graciously gave me the opportunity to look over the draft policy and make recommendations.

After also consulting with the bishops to get their feedback and approval, our new stake child safeguarding policy has been released, and it is a doozy.  It has 99% of the wishlist of anyone professionally competent regarding safeguarding and the Protect Every Child campaign.  It outlines in detail what the different forms of physical, emotional and sexual child abuse are.  It describes an ethos of collective responsibility and vigilance.  It requires that every member of the Stake working with children and teenagers will have regular enhanced police background checks using the national DBS (Disclosure and Barring Service) system paid for with stake funds if needed.  We will have regular professional safeguarding training that is provided annually for free to voluntary organisations by local councils in our area, (and hopefully available in all areas of the UK), that will match the training we get as school teachers.

The most thorny issue is the 6-monthly one to one interviews starting age 11 now.   The policy states that the expected norm will be that there will always be a second adult in the room unless the young person is really insistent, after we try to persuade them otherwise, that they want to be seen alone.  If that is the case it will be a short interview with the door ajar and an adult outside.  This is spectacular progress but of course that 1%, or maybe it should be regarded as much more than 1%, of lone interviews is still an issue.  It endangers the interviewer as much as the child because there is no witness at all of what was actually said in that interview.  If an accusation is made about that the interviewer has no evidence for a legal defense at all and it is all down to who believes who in any ensuing criminal investigation.  I hope the individual leaders will recognise this and simply refuse to put themselves, their families and their careers at such risk.

But I’m not about to rain on this particular parade!  As we all get used to ministering this way the last areas of concern will I expect quickly be abandoned.  My stake has not just stepped up but taken a quantum leap towards gold standard, best practice child safeguarding. And the BIG lesson to learn is how EASY it is to do.  You just decide to do it.  All the resources and systems are there to pick up and use in the background checks and free, or more than affordable, professional safeguarding training systems out there in our communities.   Most stakes in the developed world at least are teaming with professionals who receive or even deliver state of the art safeguarding training.  We know that a proper safeguarding system looks like.  We have a lot of in-house expertise.  Our ward Relief Society president trains community carers and on one ‘5th Sunday’ delivered state of the art safeguarding training for all the adults in our ward in the Sunday School slot.  Simples.  Where there is a will there is a way.

Good ideas spread fast.  My Stake President is happy to share the new policy with other Stake Presidents if they request it – no point reinventing the wheel.  But it really isn’t that complicated to reinvent the wheel if you have to.   We can fulfill the mandate the Church has given us all to constantly improve our safeguarding, and learn from each others’ innovations and experiences.  And hopefully one day soon the international ethos and policy of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will be to ensure EVERY child in our Church has the best possible safeguarding protection available anywhere, in every ward and branch, rather than the minimum legally required by their local secular governments.  Then we will know that their priority really is the safety and well-being of every child of Heavenly Parents who love them equally, not their institutional legal defense when things inevitably go horribly, and avoidably,­­­­­­ wrong.

Another LDS Stake Takes Steps Towards Comprehensive Protection for Their Children (a)

British Flag 2Adventures in LDS Safeguarding in the UK – Some great news!

By Peter Bleakley

Safeguarding children from sexual abuse in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is absolutely the last thing I want to even think about, never mind get involved in proactive advocating for.  It is disturbing, depressing and it should definitely be someone else’s responsibility.  But the tragic reality is that the people who should be taking responsibility for it too often are not, specially at the top of our global organisation, so it has by default become the job of grass roots members to do the Mormon thing and take action where there is a need.

As I grew up in the Church the first I became aware of this being an issue was when a relative of mine in Ireland was supporting a victim of abuse and having their testimony and trust in the priesthood leadership rocked by the dreadful failures in how they responded to the situation.  It was my first glimpse of all the key ingredients of the horrors that ripple out from LDS child abuse scandals still today – totally untrained local clergy not knowing how to be professional, blaming the victim, letting their perpetrator buddies in the old boys’ network off lightly, demanding that everyone forgive and forget quickly and not cause a public scandal or prosecution, and if the victim’s families refuse to play that game turning the social and legal resources of the Church and its community against them.

Some local leaders do a far better job than that, but not enough of them.  There have been some baby steps of improvement in the Church’s global practices, but not enough of them.

Nothing focuses your mind on the urgent need to revolutionise our safeguarding practices like having a case of child abuse in your own family or ward, or in my case moving into a ward still reeling from the aftermath of a serving bishop being convicted and imprisoned for child abuse-related offenses as we did a few years ago.  It strips away all the comforting buffer zones of wishful thinking and complacency and tears open a wound that is very hard to heal for everyone.  Every parent questions why they sent their children into one-to-one interviews with that person with a mandate to discuss the most private details of their sexual selves and experiences.  They agonise over what might have been, or actually was.  The abuser’s line managers and fellow leaders question how it was they felt spiritual witnesses confirming that they should sustain and ordain that person to a position of authority and responsibility when they were absolutely the last person God would have wanted or needed in that position of trust.  The families of the perpetrator and victims are embarrassed and traumatized.  Nothing will ever be the same again.

And then hopefully the inevitable next question is, how on earth did we as responsible adults who know that child abuse happens and have professional safeguarding training in many of our workplaces let this happen on our watch?  In our sphere of influence?  In an organisation where children should be the most safe and protected they can possibly be?  How is it possible in the Church of the Christ who valued children above all others?  Who talked about putting millstones around necks and drowning anyone hurting them?  How is it that instead of prioritising the safety of children we created written policies and cultural norms that prioritised the public reputation of the institution, the public reputation of the adult abusers, and the damaging opinions of General Authorities speaking from their out-dated and ignorant social conditioning in isolated Midwestern American religious communities instead of professional expertise and basic common sense?

Soon after that I became aware of Sam Young’s heroic campaign to Protect LDS Children that has evolved into Protect Every Child, and I started researching the Church’s official policies and guidelines regarding safeguarding.  I discovered policy statements and official declarations of an ethos of safeguarding on the Church website that were not just inaccurate wishful thinking, they were objectively delusional.  They were claiming that the LDS Church is not aware of anyone that has better safeguarding procedures than ours when in fact in the community of churches ours are among the absolute worst, and people have been telling them this for years.  They have finally had the shame to seriously edit their press release and remove most of the crazy claims about a ‘gold standard’, but still it seems no one with any professional safeguarding expertise has had anything to do with formulating either their propaganda or procedures.

I also discovered that the Church already practices several ingredients of our wish list in Australia.  There it is a legal requirement for anyone working with young people to have a regular background check and a card confirming this or all hell breaks loose, so the LDS Church is very careful to ensure this is followed.  People cannot be called or remain in a position working with young people if that legally mandated scrutiny lapses. They still have one to one interviews I expect, but it is a glimpse of how things could be everywhere.

My anger about the negligence became personal as I reflected on the impact throughout my adolescence and young adulthood of constant ‘worthiness’ interviews and the uninformed and unhealthy rhetoric, expectations and mind games played with LDS young regarding all things sexual.  We are fed into a mincer that piles on guilt about totally normal sexual feelings and explorations from before some of us even begin puberty.  My priesthood interviewers were unfailingly kind and exemplary role models and dear friends to whom I am profoundly grateful for their years of service contributing to my peers and I having a fantastic youth in many ways, but as they were instructed to I was regularly asked about whether I masturbated.  Like most young Mormons I soon began to learn to lie and declare I was ‘morally clean’ when I knew by those criteria I was not.

I felt guilt ridden and ‘unworthy’ pretty much all the time but my embarrassment was so deep I couldn’t bear to talk about it to anyone and only risked confessing twice at points when I was pretty sure the repercussions would be minimal.   As so many Latter-Day Saints and their therapists have described as they have reflected on this, our consciences kind of split into our public religious life and our secret shame.  Now as I reflect from an adult perspective, instead of feeling bad about that I am incredibly relieved that I protected my privacy.  I now understand that that whole process of intrusive scrutiny of children was completely unethical and psychologically unhealthy.

Young people put into a situation of an inherently abusive power relationship will have something click in their brains to protect themselves from dangerous intrusion and instinctively lie to protect their psyche from a clear and present threat.  Of course the religious indoctrination is so intense that, believing they are speaking to a man representing actual God with a magical ‘power of discernment’ to read their minds who should be answered honestly as if they are Jesus Christ because religiously there is no difference at all, many young people will not have the strength to protect their privacy by lying or simply calling their bluff and refusing to disclose such private information.  They will admit to their terrible crimes that according to the ‘For the Strength of Youth’ booklet and the teachings of the LDS prophets are all, ALL of them, even having sexual thoughts, “second only to murder.”

I would love to go back in time to my 12 year old self, pat me on the head and say “Quit feeling guilty – you are absolutely doing the right thing.  No one should be asking you about this, you are a normal healthy kid protecting your dignity and privacy.  These well-meaning but totally untrained men are not Gods, and you are frankly a proper goody two shoes.  Drugs are still bad, but definitely go to some live music concerts while these bands you love are at their peak.  Satan didn’t write their music and in the 2010’s no one even talks about that any more in the Church. Or the occult paranoia and Ouija Boards…. but I’ll let you find out about what Joseph Smith was up to with all that when you’re older and not spoil the fun.”

Most of our young people under the regime of regular harassment just go inactive and never come back.  Jana Reiss’ recent research has confirmed what we all know from our own wards, that the young teenage years are when the LDS Church loses most of the 80% of its young people globally who leave by their mid-twenties.  Why are we surprised when this is what we do to them?!  Those that stay and are honest are often fed into a totally unprofessional psychodrama of shaming Church discipline with disfellowshipment, young men having to very obviously say “No” when asked to pass the sacrament, not taking the sacrament in front of your family and entire ward, and even worse these days in the hysterical paranoia about pornography coming out of LDS communities in Deseret, being labelled an “Addict” completely inaccurately, and even being fed into the Addiction Recovery Program.  Meanwhile those of us unwilling or unaware that we should be confessing these things to our bishop look squeaky clean and progress unscrutinised through our young Church lives.

The whole thing is a mess of injustice, trauma, secrets and lies in stark contrast to what are meant to be our religious ideals and values.  I had pretty close to the mildest experience possible for a youth in the Church, beaten only by those lucky few who won leadership roulette and were never once asked about specific sexual things in interviews because their leaders were in a different branch of the random tree of leadership awareness and formative experience and passing on different norms through their lines of non-training.  But it was still far more of a burden of guilt, confusion and worry than I should ever have had to carry.

As a teacher in a boys’ secondary school with experience of delivering sex and contraception education and receiving the professional child safeguarding training that is now the norm in schools, professions and most voluntary and religious settings and organisations, I am not shy about speaking about these matters.  When Sam Young asked through social media if any supporters of the Protect Every Child campaign and petition in the UK were willing be interviewed by a journalist who had approached him, I and two others gladly volunteered and to our amazement found ourselves with a 10-15 minute slot on the BBC’s flagship news channel daily chat program ‘The Victoria Derbyshire Show’ and headed to the iconic Broadcasting House in London.  Our interviewer was superb and we were able to share our concerns in a respectful but clear way, particularly making the points that these interviews actually introduce young Mormons to the sexual practices they are meant to be deterring in unhealthy ways, and that as a body of millions of lay clergy the adult men and women running our congregations understand and practice modern safeguarding at work, but tragically too often throw it all in the bin as soon as we walk through the chapel doors.

The Church recently released a slightly interactive safeguarding training film that it will now require all members working with young people to review regularly.  This tipped me over the edge into full rage.  It claims to have been produced in collaboration with professionals, but I cannot see a shred of evidence for that anywhere in its content.  Even calling it safeguarding training is a deception.  It simply isn’t.  It’s one point repeated over and over is basically that no adult should be alone with a young person.  But it completely ignores the compulsory worthiness interviews where they often are.  They might as well not exist.  It doesn’t even take the opportunity to remind everyone of the recent change that a young person (not their parent…) can request a second adult in the room.  That’s more than negligence, it’s intentional.  And the thought that this is replacing the much more thorough professional training provided by Boy Scouts of America that at least some LDS youth leaders in the USA used to get is even more perplexing.

Real professional standard safeguarding training teaches you that an adult should never be alone with a child even once in any circumstances ever unless you are a professionally trained and supervised counsellor.  It teaches you what you must and must not do and say if a child discloses abuse to you so that you do not ask leading questions or screw up a criminal investigation.  It teaches you who your safeguarding line managers are, and who to talk to above them if you are not satisfied with their response.  It teaches you how to report suspicions you have about potential abuse to the right trained people in your organisation.  It teaches you exactly what physical and emotional signs to look for in a victim of abuse.  It teaches you how to speak to that child and reassure them as the adult they have chosen to trust, and what to do to ensure their immediate safety.  This stuff is safeguarding 101.  None of it is in the new official ‘training’ that isn’t training. This is why we must use actual professionals to deliver training in our stakes and wards until the in-house training matches basic professional standards.

In response to the scandals in our area, the UK government’s enquiries into safeguarding and abuse cover-ups in the Catholic and Anglican Churches, and the Protect Every Child campaign all shining a light on the matter, plus basic common sense, my stake leadership have been fantastic.  They decided that a much more robust protocol was required to fulfill the Church’s avowed intent, repeated in a statement at the end of our TV appearance by the Europe Area Presidency, to always be seeking ways to improve our safeguarding.  They consulted with several stake members who have high level professional responsibility for delivering safeguarding training in their professional careers.  They consulted with a Welsh member of the Church who is involved in safeguarding policies and training with the United Nations, who also delivered some excellent training for the young people and adults in our stake about the ethos and principles of a safeguarding community.  They even graciously gave me the opportunity to look over the draft policy and make recommendations.

After also consulting with the bishops to get their feedback and approval, our new stake child safeguarding policy has been released, and it is a doozy.  It has 99% of the wishlist of anyone professionally competent regarding safeguarding and the Protect Every Child campaign.  It outlines in detail what the different forms of physical, emotional and sexual child abuse are.  It describes an ethos of collective responsibility and vigilance.  It requires that every member of the Stake working with children and teenagers will have regular enhanced police background checks using the national DBS (Disclosure and Barring Service) system paid for with stake funds if needed.  We will have regular professional safeguarding training that is provided annually for free to voluntary organisations by local councils in our area, (and hopefully available in all areas of the UK), that will match the training we get as school teachers.

The most thorny issue is the 6-monthly one to one interviews starting age 11 now.   The policy states that the expected norm will be that there will always be a second adult in the room unless the young person is really insistent, after we try to persuade them otherwise, that they want to be seen alone.  If that is the case it will be a short interview with the door ajar and an adult outside.  This is spectacular progress but of course that 1%, or maybe it should be regarded as much more than 1%, of lone interviews is still an issue.  It endangers the interviewer as much as the child because there is no witness at all of what was actually said in that interview.  If an accusation is made about that the interviewer has no evidence for a legal defense at all and it is all down to who believes who in any ensuing criminal investigation.  I hope the individual leaders will recognise this and simply refuse to put themselves, their families and their careers at such risk.

But I’m not about to rain on this particular parade!  As we all get used to ministering this way the last areas of concern will I expect quickly be abandoned.  My stake has not just stepped up but taken a quantum leap towards gold standard, best practice child safeguarding. And the BIG lesson to learn is how EASY it is to do.  You just decide to do it.  All the resources and systems are there to pick up and use in the background checks and free, or more than affordable, professional safeguarding training systems out there in our communities.   Most stakes in the developed world at least are teaming with professionals who receive or even deliver state of the art safeguarding training.  We know that a proper safeguarding system looks like.  We have a lot of in-house expertise.  Our ward Relief Society president trains community carers and on one ‘5th Sunday’ delivered state of the art safeguarding training for all the adults in our ward in the Sunday School slot.  Simples.  Where there is a will there is a way.

Good ideas spread fast.  My Stake President is happy to share the new policy with other Stake Presidents if they request it – no point reinventing the wheel.  But it really isn’t that complicated to reinvent the wheel if you have to.   We can fulfill the mandate the Church has given us all to constantly improve our safeguarding, and learn from each others’ innovations and experiences.  And hopefully one day soon the international ethos and policy of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will be to ensure EVERY child in our Church has the best possible safeguarding protection available anywhere, in every ward and branch, rather than the minimum legally required by their local secular governments.  Then we will know that their priority really is the safety and well-being of every child of Heavenly Parents who love them equally, not their institutional legal defense when things inevitably go horribly, and avoidably,­­­­­­ wrong.

Four Strikes….You’re Out

Umpire

**If strong language offends you…read no farther**

Discouraged tonight.  So much effort, time and money over the past 2 years.  Yet, one-on-one interviews with sex questions are still the norm.  This practice is repulsive to every person I have spoken with outside the Church.  Yet most of my former Mormon friends and some of my extended family see no reason to change.  They believe that it’s necessary for children, their children, to be quizzed by a bishop about sexual activities.

Time to write an angry post.  Some of you will condemn me for expressing ire.  I will admit that I do not understand how a human being could not be angry at what follows.

Some have asked if I plan to seek readmission to the Mormon Church.  Well…that pompous corporation has 4 egregious strikes against it.

Strike #1

At 12 years old, one of my daughter’s was asked if she masturbated.  A probing question asked by her bishop all alone behind a closed door.  She didn’t know what it meant.  Her 12 year old friends didn’t either.  So, she did what any resourceful child does.  She googled it.  And what did she find?  In her words, “Dad, I found out what masturbation was, how to do it and I found pornography.”  Was she ever asked again?  “Yes, dad.  All the time.”  Did she ever lie?  “Of course, dad.  Just like all the other kids.”

Despicable treatment of my child!!!  Yeah, I’m angry.  Mormon Church…why the hell would I consider coming back when you still do this to children.

Strike #2

At 19, another daughter was big with child as she sat across from her bishop for a worthiness interview.  He asked, “Do you masturbate?”  You son-of-a-bitch.  Asking a pregnant woman if she masturbates.  And this is sanctioned by the Mormon Church.  Stupid.

Strike #3

At 18, another daughter, her first Sunday at BYU.  Her bishop calls her in for an interview.  All alone.  My adult daughter…well an 18 year old barely adult daughter.  The bishop probed with such explicit sexual questions that she was done with Mormonism.    She never wanted to see that man again and stopped going to church.  At BYU!  She finished the semester and then transferred to  Texas A & M.  Good for her. At the time, she didn’t tell me why she was no longer interested in the church.  That was discovered 10 years later.

Strike #4

Another daughter’s experience during her first year at BYU.  Up to this point, she had never dated.  Her professor bishop interrogated with several deviant sex questions.  Like, “Have you had anal sex?!!!?!?”  What the hell.  You disgusting pervert.  Were you propositioning my child, you bastard?  Oh yeah, your church sanctions this rancid and revolting behavior by its bishops.

Nelson…Oaks…Eyring, you permit, promote and facilitate filth.

I have dreamed of going to Washington D.C. and calling on every embassy.  I’d expose to them the evil practice that the Mormon Church is spreading in their homelands.  For those countries that don’t permit proselyting, I’d give them more ammunition for continuing to outlaw missionaries.  I’d love to speak with the Russians.  They got it right when they restricted Mormon proselyting.  And…they likely don’t even know about the despicable interview practices they are saving their children from.

I feel sorry for the missionaries.  They don’t comprehend that they’re spreading an irresponsible and degrading practice that will harm children all around the world.  They should.  After all, many of them are quizzed about masturbation every six weeks.

On the other hand, I have no sympathy for the mission presidents.  They are experienced adults.  What blinds them from seeing the idiocy and danger of one-one-one sexually charged interviews?  Ambition?  Arrogance?  Degeneracy?  Blind obedience?  Whatever it is, I cut them NO slack and hold no respect for them.  They are the field generals responsible for the propagation of Mormon-style child interrogations across the globe.

Four strikes.  Yeah, Mormon Church, you struck my family four times.  I will not forget what you have done and will spread the warning whenever I get the chance.

 

 

 

The Very First Ward to Openly Eliminate One-on-One Child Interviews

 

Father and son

Two days after the October 5th March to End Child Abuse, I had a conversation with the current bishop of the Olympus 8th Ward in Salt Lake City, UT.  In August of this year, his ward and stake were rocked by a very public scandal.  The prior bishop, Steven Murdock, was arrested for photographing a woman undressing in a clothing store’s changing room.  At the time of the arrest, the former bishop was serving on the stake high council.

As a result, the current bishop began to rethink  the application of church policy regarding interviews with children.  The normal practice is to have one-on-one meetings where the child is asked about their sexual practices.  This good bishop had concerns about this protocol.  He also wanted to follow the instructions from in Handbook 1 which contains directives from the apostles.

The Olympus 8th ward bishop studied the handbook, consulted with his stake president and called the Church’s bishop helpline.  With the new understanding he gained, the bishop has proceeded with a program to “normalize” the practice of always having a parent or other trusted adult in the room during meetings with children & youth.  The only exception will be if a child initiates the interview and desires to meet alone.  This will eliminate the vast majority of one-on-ones.  Questions relating to sex will be strictly limited to: ‘Do you live the law of chastity?’  Regardless of the answer, there will be no follow-up questions probing for further details.  The new interview policy was presented at a meeting with all parents.  It was well received.  If the new protocol is successful in the Olympus 8th ward, it will likely be rolled out to the entire stake.

Here are the bishop’s own words regarding our discussion:

I appreciate your desire to protect children and youth. I also appreciate the leaders of the church for their same desire. The information that I shared with our ward did not come from me, it came from the church handbooks. What I have learned in the past 5 weeks is that the bishops really need to study these handbooks. We need to use all the many resources that are available to us to lead in a way that will bless and protect the sisters and brothers in our wards and neighborhoods.

There are several things in the handbooks that have been updated that add further protection for youth, women and all the members of the church. The church no longer prints the handbooks. I assume this is due to the rapid inspiration, hearing and listening to concerns from the membership of the church and making the adjustments that are necessary for our day.

This past general conference is another indication of these changes.  If it appears that I am doing something different in my ward it is only because I have very recently, thoroughly studied the handbooks, consulted with my stake president and contacted the church bishop helpline and then shared what I have learned. There are many traditions and a general culture that are changing for the better as the Gospel of Christ stands unchanged. Normalizing the new information in the handbooks by teaching what is there will certainly protect the children and center much of the responsibility back to the parents and the home where it belongs. 

I firmly believe that we are led by living prophets and apostles and that they are listening and learning as hopefully we all are.  I am a follower and I believe in who I am following.  I am teaching and carefully following what has been taught with hopes for a better safer experience for us all!  I trust in and have faith in those who have dedicated their lives to this work.

I also respect all who have desires for goodness, kindness and love regardless of religion or nationality. We are all in this together.  Being well informed by keeping up on the handbooks will keep us on the right track.

Oh boy, do I ever love what this bishop is doing!  Eliminating one-on-ones & tightly limiting sex questions down to just one.  Then, to be rolled out to an entire stake?  Just WOW!

Over the past 2 years, at least 10 bishops have reached out to me, sharing that they completely support what Protect LDS Children has been calling for.  These bishops have quietly implemented safer interview protocols in their own wards.  However, none were willing to risk being open about it.

The bishop of the Olympus 8th Ward has done his due diligence and is willing to take action openly.  He is also very emphatic in stating that he is not the author of this new protocol.  It all came from church resources and leaders.  Good for him.

I have read the most recent Handbook instructions regarding interviewing children.  There are NO instructions that interviews should include 2 adults.  The good news is that there is NO instruction that the interviews should be private, just between the bishop and the child.  That is a change.

I wish to publicly commend the bishop of the Olympus 8th Ward, the stake president of the Olympus Stake and the church bishop help-line for coming together to end one-on-one interviews and explicit sexual interrogations of children.  At least in one ward.  The very first ward.

Take heart my child-protecting comrades.  We are winning the battle.  One bishop, one ward, and soon, one stake at a time.

 

 

 

Mormon God

first-presidency-2018

  • I was Mormon for 66 years of my life. During that time, I never met God.  I never saw God except in paint and sculpture.  He is a concept in my mind.  My kids are real, living flesh and blood.  Abraham is a stark example of Mormon God.  I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry.  If God were to tell me to kill my child, I would firmly let Him know that I was not willing to commit an immoral act.  And, that He as God should embrace the common morals that mankind already understands:  Killing children is heinous.  If my morality (not being willing to kill my child) sends me to hell…fine.  I’m still going to love my children above the “invisible God,” as Paul referred to him.
  • In January 2018, my stake president threatened excommunication for publicly speaking out against Mormon policies that were harming children. He said that he had an obligation to protect “the good name” of the Church.  I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry.  I put the safety of children above “the good name” of any church.  It’s ironic & detestable that ‘Jesus Christ’ would be part of the name of a church which puts protecting their name above the interests of children.
  • On the eve of my hunger strike in July 2018, the stake president told me that he’d received this revelation for me: “Walk away, Sam.  Walk away.”  According to Mormon doctrine, the stake president represents Mormon God’s will.  Well…I no longer revere a God whose will is that adults are to “walk away” from children who are being hurt.
  • In September 2018, the Mormon Church told me to disavow my words and actions regarding their treatment of children. If I didn’t, they would excommunicate.  A threat from the Mormon God.  If I didn’t shut up, sit down and stop my warning cry in behalf of all children in the LDS Church, I would be branded with the scarlet letter ‘A.’  ‘A’ for apostasy.  Sorry Mormon God, but I’m not sorry.  I have more respect and love for children than I do for a God who loves silence over safety.
  • Mormon bishops are called by Mormon God. This year several sitting bishops have been arrested for sex crimes.  One was caught in an undercover human trafficking investigation trying to recruit prostitutes to work for him.  One for sexually abusing boys in his ward.  One for molesting over 30 children.  And a few days ago, a bishop was arrested for distributing child porn.  The police believe he has sexually assaulted children in Utah and other states.  All these men were called by Mormon God and given “unfettered access” to children alone behind closed doors.

Really?  This is the God Mormons worship?  I used to be Mormon.  I used to worship Mormon God.  Excommunication was a gift that opened my eyes.  No longer will I revere a God who possesses less decency than a common man.