**If strong language offends you…read no farther**
Discouraged tonight. So much effort, time and money over the past 2 years. Yet, one-on-one interviews with sex questions are still the norm. This practice is repulsive to every person I have spoken with outside the Church. Yet most of my former Mormon friends and some of my extended family see no reason to change. They believe that it’s necessary for children, their children, to be quizzed by a bishop about sexual activities.
Time to write an angry post. Some of you will condemn me for expressing ire. I will admit that I do not understand how a human being could not be angry at what follows.
Some have asked if I plan to seek readmission to the Mormon Church. Well…that pompous corporation has 4 egregious strikes against it.
Strike #1
At 12 years old, one of my daughter’s was asked if she masturbated. A probing question asked by her bishop all alone behind a closed door. She didn’t know what it meant. Her 12 year old friends didn’t either. So, she did what any resourceful child does. She googled it. And what did she find? In her words, “Dad, I found out what masturbation was, how to do it and I found pornography.” Was she ever asked again? “Yes, dad. All the time.” Did she ever lie? “Of course, dad. Just like all the other kids.”
Despicable treatment of my child!!! Yeah, I’m angry. Mormon Church…why the hell would I consider coming back when you still do this to children.
Strike #2
At 19, another daughter was big with child as she sat across from her bishop for a worthiness interview. He asked, “Do you masturbate?” You son-of-a-bitch. Asking a pregnant woman if she masturbates. And this is sanctioned by the Mormon Church. Stupid.
Strike #3
At 18, another daughter, her first Sunday at BYU. Her bishop calls her in for an interview. All alone. My adult daughter…well an 18 year old barely adult daughter. The bishop probed with such explicit sexual questions that she was done with Mormonism. She never wanted to see that man again and stopped going to church. At BYU! She finished the semester and then transferred to Texas A & M. Good for her. At the time, she didn’t tell me why she was no longer interested in the church. That was discovered 10 years later.
Strike #4
Another daughter’s experience during her first year at BYU. Up to this point, she had never dated. Her professor bishop interrogated with several deviant sex questions. Like, “Have you had anal sex?!!!?!?” What the hell. You disgusting pervert. Were you propositioning my child, you bastard? Oh yeah, your church sanctions this rancid and revolting behavior by its bishops.
Nelson…Oaks…Eyring, you permit, promote and facilitate filth.
I have dreamed of going to Washington D.C. and calling on every embassy. I’d expose to them the evil practice that the Mormon Church is spreading in their homelands. For those countries that don’t permit proselyting, I’d give them more ammunition for continuing to outlaw missionaries. I’d love to speak with the Russians. They got it right when they restricted Mormon proselyting. And…they likely don’t even know about the despicable interview practices they are saving their children from.
I feel sorry for the missionaries. They don’t comprehend that they’re spreading an irresponsible and degrading practice that will harm children all around the world. They should. After all, many of them are quizzed about masturbation every six weeks.
On the other hand, I have no sympathy for the mission presidents. They are experienced adults. What blinds them from seeing the idiocy and danger of one-one-one sexually charged interviews? Ambition? Arrogance? Degeneracy? Blind obedience? Whatever it is, I cut them NO slack and hold no respect for them. They are the field generals responsible for the propagation of Mormon-style child interrogations across the globe.
Four strikes. Yeah, Mormon Church, you struck my family four times. I will not forget what you have done and will spread the warning whenever I get the chance.
Tocubit Is Invisible's Cubit 
I could NOT agree more. I do NOT see Jesus Christ asking children if they masturbate. I have one question for President Russell M. Nelson. Does your wife masturbate, with which hand and how many fingers? If you think I being gross and disrespectful then why are you allowed to bully my children about their bodies??? Respect is earned and it goes both way.
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Sam we feel for you, we empathize with you, we feel anger together with you, we are immensely honoured to call you friend and mentor. The Mormon “Church ” is belly up and yet it refuses to acquiesce or better still to become deceased. Someone asked me why my kids have no humility; this is what the Mormon Church has accomplished…done to us. It teaches that “liars will be cast down into hell” and yet it epitomizes the very essence of what liars are. Telling LIES is its modus operandi…there is no better example than the LDS Church and its leaders hoist by their own petard viz. THE SECOND ANOINTING. Whatever claims this organization lays to Jesus Christ as its God are null and void…absolutely . One only has to examine this principle ..Having One’s Calling and Election Made Sure or The Second Anointing to realize that The Mormon Church is an utter Fraud. To have allowed one’s self to have become so manipulated and then still to have paid homage to such absolute RUBBISH…oh my what fools we have been. We were lured by the concept of Jesus Christ , the Atonement, only in the final analysis to find that Jesus Christ is completely disregarded in the Second Anointing…he has no role to play on this stage whatsoever. And do not believe for one second that these men are not aware of the game they and their cronies have been conducting since “The First Vision” (remember Jesus Christ was the lure, the only personage in the first FIRST VISION). Of Course they do; it is all about filthy lucre.
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The fat lady has sung? Game over? I hope this game goes on till it’s really over.
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Sadly, general church leaders are well insulated and untouchable. There’s a tipping point out there somewhere and it might take a revolution to change things. We are headed in the right direction…
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“You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.” When I get burnout on some cause or issue I’m working for, I have to remember all the people I stand with, those who came before, all the work that will continue long after I am gone, and especially those more directly impacted and marginalized who have been bearing this weight and speaking up long before I did. Someone got two-deep leadership before you came along. Someone got Scouts abuse training videos for leaders that work with kids before you. Someone was documenting abuses and was excommunicated for it before you. Keep up the good work brother, you are not alone.
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Sam, your observation that most TBM parents actually APPROVE of their Bishop providing Masturbation Police Officer investigation and enforcement services speaks volumes. When the PARENTS themselves believe masturbation is a sin next to murder, why WOULDN’T they appreciate help “saving” their children from becoming vile sinners with one foot in hell and the other on a banana peel.
Sam, I’m wondering if you are coming closer and closer to recommending the truly effective solution to Mormon Child Grooming and Sex Abuse … which is, of course … to vote with your feet and carry your precious children to SAFETY.
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Don’t be discpouraged Sam – your many brave efforts and persistence have already brought about radical changes and although it will still be a while before it happens properly everywhere the Protect Every Child campaign has forced the LDS Church to open the door to the idea of a second adult in ‘worthiness’ interviews of young people and it won’t take long for that to become the normal thing to do. Lots of wards and stakes are starting to go ahead with tightening their safeguarding practices far beyond the very inadequate practices that the central authorities in the Church require, and a lot of that would not have happened without the attention you have focused on this issue.
The new leadership of my stake have been amazing, in part because the Stake President works in academia and the Stake Relief Society President founded a fostering agency so they are both highly aware of safeguarding. They have consulted widely with members of the stake who have other professional training and expertise to bear, including me as an informal spokesperson for Protect Every Child and professional teacher with child safeguarding training in that workplace, and just published after getting final approval from the ward leaders our new stake safeguarding policy. It is stunning – it covers lots of general principles about the nature of difference forms of abuse and out collective responsibilities to protect all the children. It also has specific requirements that everyone working with young people in the stake have the proper police background checks using our national system paid for from stake budgets if needed, and regular training from professionals which is offered free to voluntary organisations by the local governments here in the UK. It allows for one to one interviews if the young person absolutely insists, with a door open and an afdult outside, but emphasises that the norm should be with a second adult present and that the young person should be strongly encouraged to have a second adult there. These ideas and innovations will spread.
The tide is turning Sam and every step like this protects hundreds more children so stay angry, stay motivated and we won’t rest until every child is safeguarded. Again, I cannot thank you enough. To progress from a ward reeling from the aftermath of a convicted pedofile Bishop with other stake officers in the same mess to having a stake safeguarding policy this close to actual Gold Standard is an astonishing achievement.
The movement you kicked off has undoubtedly contributed to it going so far so quickly. It has mapped out for us that change is possible and what it needs to look like. Well done my friend!
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I was asked about masturbation at the age of 12 by my bishop. I had no idea what it was. I was then shamed for most of my teen years because I was too dumb to lie about it. Keep up the fight Sam.
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Thank you for all that you are doing Sam, keep it up!
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While on her mission in early 2019, my daughter’s mission president and his wife subjected her to many of the techniques outlined in the B.I.T.E. model, including isolating her and forcing her to watch a video and then questioning her about it… all alone, and without her companion. I am done with this church as well.
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