Champion of Discord

justice

Yep. That’s me. At least, that’s how some are referring to me.

Champion of discord? Nope. The discord in my beloved church is already there and growing. It’s just kept hidden and lonely. In painful isolation. Who created the discord? Not me. For the source, you have to look much higher up the leadership ladder.

What Kind of Champion do I Really Want to Be

1) A CHAMPION for discussing discord. Dismissing, disallowing, & demonizing discord only drives people away. Our culture forbids discussing discord out in the open. How weak the position of the church must be if discussing our discord is forbidden. How weak testimonies must be! The best way to bring accord out of discord is to discuss. Demanding and dictating accord does not work and is not God’s way.

2) A CHAMPION for keeping temple covenants, specifically the covenant to obey God’s Law.

3) A CHAMPION for Christ’s clear and straightforward Law of common consent. Today in conference, Elder Ballard encouraged, “Never abandon the truths revealed through Joseph Smith.” Yet, we have abandoned the revelation of common consent. I’ll be it’s Champion.

4) A CHAMPION for my marginalized and vulnerable gay brothers and sisters. In the church of Jesus, “the least of these” have no champions whatsoever. If something is going to be called sad, this is the saddest of them all: we do not champion “the least of these.” For heaven’s sake, this is the gorgeous center of Christ’s gospel and ministry.

5) A CHAMPION for the marginalized truth seekers. Again today, Elder Ballard counseled, “We must never neglect anyone with questions. Treat them like investigators.” Well, guess what? Not only do we neglect those with questions, we marginalize, shun and shut them up. I KNOW this from personal experience. At this point, I’ve seen many leave because they were treated this very way.

Just Wait a Little Longer, Sam

I have been told that I should just sit back and wait. Do nothing. Trust the brethren.

Out of 6 siblings, all have left the church, but me.
How long should I wait? Until my own children leave?

Many good friends have left.
How long should I wait? Until another 100 have left?

All but one of my gay friends have left.
Should I wait until he’s gone? Should I wait until 10 more gay kids come out, get shunned and then watch them & their families leave?
Should I just wait for another child to commit SUICIDE???

70% of members have resigned or are inactive. 80,000 resigned last year.
Should I wait for another 80,000 to resign?

Nope!!! I’m acting on my temple covenants NOW. I’m following Jesus’ Laws NOW.

From January 2015 until now, 22 months in all, I have reached out to quorum, Ward, stake, and general authority leadership. Sharing concerns and ideas of what we could do as a church to stem the tide of exodus. Response: Zip…Nada….Nothing. Twenty-two months of being told: be patient, we’ll look into it, we’ll get back with you, the brethren know what they are doing.

Behold Thy Mother

My brother and his entire family left the church in January 2016. They have a gay son. The November gay policy drove them all out.

Then, two months ago, my mom resigned. This is my MOTHER!!! Oh, behold my MOTHER!!! Heart broken by policies NEVER approved by the consent of the common. Beaten down and driven out of Christ’s church. My church. The church that I love.

Unfortunately, the departure of all my siblings was not enough to kick my butt into action. But, there is no way that I am going to ignore the broken heart of my own dear MOTHER.

So, I am going to CHAMPION obedience of the Law of God, the Law that I promised in the temple to obey. The vital Law of God which He called: The Law of Common Consent. My mother has been bruised, battered, and severely scarred by policies that never would have been accepted if the church was not in disobedience of this indispensable commandment. No longer will I mock God by NOT striving to live up to the promises I have made in his holy house.

Resister of Common Consent–A Record of Those Who Disapprove (click here for link)

If you disapprove of what the church is doing, you have a voice. It was granted by Jesus himself. May we all CHAMPION what we know in our hearts to be right. May we reclaim our God given privilege to approve or disapprove.

Dear Bishop and Stake President…

For those Voting Opposed In LDS General, Stake & Ward Conferences

Policies, major decisions, and other things that affect the lives of the Saints, are MANDATED to be presented for a vote at conferences. Today, this law is not being followed. As a result, I have decided to vote in disapproval (opposed) to the First Presidency and the Twelve Apostles. They are solely responsible, both for the church policies and for the mismanagement of not putting crucial matters up for a vote.

If you are disposed to vote disapproval, I recommend an email communication be sent to your local leaders informing them of your vote. This should be sent around the time of the conference in question. Personally, I think it’s best to vote with our HAND during the conference and then to send the email. However, sending the letter without attending the session, is a perfectly fine and honorable choice.

I also recommend that you sign the Common Consent Register—A Record of Those Who Disapprove.

Email Examples

Following are examples of e-mail communications that can be sent to your local leaders. Feel free to use for ideas, templates or outright copying.

Simple

Dear Bishop_____ & President_______,

At General Conference today, I voted opposed when the First Presidency and the Twelve Apostles were presented. I’m not necessarily opposed to these men serving in their respective callings. However, they have introduced polices of which I firmly disapprove.

I would be happy to discuss details of my concerns with you.

Please register my disapproving vote through whatever channel the church uses with respect to the law of common consent.

The church does much good. I believe it can be much better. Jesus has commanded the church leaders to ask for my opinion 4 times a year. I have prayed, searched and pondered . . . a lot!! For many reasons, I believe and feel that it’s important to my Savior that I give a true and honest opinion when asked.

Thank you for your unselfish service to the Lord and the members in our area. I know that you spend countless hours in your calling.

All My Best to You and Your Family,

Detailed

Dear Bishop_____ & President_______,

In the recent past, a new policy was announced regarding children of married same-sex couples. I disapprove of excluding these children from the blessings of the gospel. Inside my heart, here’s how I’m feeling. The policy damages families, traditional and non. Families have been driven out of the church, both traditional and non. Our gay children have been hurt. There are now reports that the message this policy sends is so hurtful that suicides have resulted. Jesus said that we will be judged on how we treat “the least of these.” Punishing “the least of these” is wrong. We are denying baby blessings, baptism, the Holy Ghost, the priesthood, and the temple to the “the least of these.” That doesn’t square with the teachings and example of the Savior. I don’t believe this is what Jesus would want done in His church.

I would be happy to discuss details of my concerns with you further, if you’d like.

Please register my disapproving vote through whatever channel the church uses with respect to the law of common consent.

Our church does much good. I believe it can be much better. Jesus has commanded the church leaders to ask for my opinion 4 times a year. I have prayed, searched and pondered . . . a lot!! For many reasons, I believe and feel that it’s important to my Savior that I give a true and honest opinion when asked.

Thank you for your unselfish service to the Lord and the members in our area. I know that you spend countless hours in your calling.

All My Best to You and Your Family,

Here’s The Letter I Sent

I didn’t go into detail of the policies I disapprove of, as we have already discussed them at length:

Hi _____ & ______,

Just wanted to let you know that I voted in disapproval during conference this weekend.

I am not actually opposed to the first presidency or the apostles. Since they are not putting up major policies for common consent, my opposition to those polices is expressed when sustaining those who control the process.

My two issues are common consent and the exclusion policy for children of gay couples.

I loved many of the messages at this conference. It’s the best that I can recall. President Monson may be frail, but what a powerful communication he delivered!

I haven’t made a tally, but it seemed like concern over people leaving the church was a common thread. I would prefer that this wasn’t happening. But, it gave me super validation for the path that I’m on.

The work I’m doing can be and frequently is misunderstood. Sharp criticism from both active members and those who have left the church. My entire objective is to help both those in and out.

To those in and are questioning or about to leave? We explore options of finding ways to stay. The problem here is that most people that I talk to have already made the decision to leave. Somehow, we need to find a forum where members can discuss before they’ve already reached their conclusions.

To those who have left? Well, here’s the problem. We are creating an army or enemies. Enemies who know and exploit our many, and uneccessary, weaknesses. Those who have left should be our friends, not our enemies. They seek validation, connection, and healing. These are good people.

Today, there are 12.5 million inactive and former members. Our 5 million active members are vastly outnumbered. 70% of Mormons are either resigned or inactive. And…we keep creating more disaffected, disappointed and disillusioned people for the other side. Not to mention the anger that often accompanies faith transitions.

Yet, I have now witnessed these good, formerly active members respond to love, friendship and understanding. A few weeks ago, a Relief Society president and High Priest group secretary came to the Talkeria. They were looking for suggestions on how they could reach out to those who are questioning or have left. Wow! Also in attendance were 4 resigned or about to resign members. One of the “about to resigns” had been his ward’s HP group leader as recently as last March. Hidden history, doctrine, and current policies pushed him, his wife and his 4 children out. What an amazing discussion we had!!! Our “enemies” helping local leaders of the church in which they no longer believe.

Things have got to change. Our leaders in SLC know it. They are working on it. They’re in a really tough spot. Things actually boil down to what is being done in the trenches. I’m digging trenches as fast as I can.

Thanks for all that both of you are doing in service of the Savior and especially for my friends.

All My Best, Sam

Other Resources

The Only True Hope for the Only True Church

Jesus Pleads His Case for Common Consent

Do We Love Jesus Enough to…

A Resister for Disapproval (Opposition)

LDS Website on Common Consent

Final Note

I know this takes great courage. Every step of the way can be scary. Raising your hand alone, all by yourself? I know it’s scary. I’ve now done it at each conference level this year. Big fat butterflies every time.

Sending an email to the stake president…yeah that can be real scary. But, how scared do you think the gay children are who are still hiding in the pews?

Putting your name on a public register of disapproval…scary? You bet. It scared me, too, when I hit the submit button two days ago.

There are many in our midst who are at risk and cannot speak up. We are standing up, voting out, putting our name on the line for those who cannot fight for themselves.

“May we maintain the courage to defy the consensus. May we ever chose the harder right.” And that’s just what we are doing here. Standing up for the marginalized, for the “least of these,” IS a noble and just cause.

Godspeed. Godspeed. Godspeed.

Divorce or Disobey?

Hint: Adam and the Mormon Temple say……..DISOBEY.

A Tender Text

Today, my youngest daughter sent me this message:

Dear dad,

Thank you so much for putting mom and our family before yourself. Today I met a Mormon couple that is getting divorced because the man has left the church. I talked with them for a while and it was apparent that he just wasn’t willing to make sacrifices for his wife’s happiness. I am so glad to have a father who is able to see the importance of family above everything else.

Love, Emily

BTW, I have not left the LDS church.

Divorce

Over the past couple of years, I have come in contact with many members who have left the church. Their prior faith obliterated by history, doctrine & policies that they had only recently discovered. This includes good friends and family.

Sometimes, married couples depart from the church together. Sometimes, it’s only one spouse whose faith transitions. Unfortunately, I have heard and read many stories of couples divorcing when only one leaves the church. Often, the believing partner is encouraged by bishops and stake presidents, family and friends, to divorce the non-believing spouse. The family is broken. Children confused, scared and heartbroken.

All this over belief & church. Is marriage less important than belief? Is family less treasured than church?

Disobedience

For the first time in almost 2 years, I recently attended the temple. I explain here exactly why I decided to go back. This time, I went with new eyes. It was fascinating, uplifting, and spiritual. Lot’s of new understandings. I have already written about one monumental take-away here.

The temple movie presents a beautiful portrayal of the creation story. Adam & Eve are placed in the Garden of Eden. Satan tempts Adam do disobey God. Our first father will have nothing to do with disobedience.

Eve is Lucifer’s next target for temptation. She carefully considers the Adversary’s argument. Her rational decision is to disobey God. Result: Eve was to be cast out of the protected, perfect and paradisiacal Garden of Eden.

Now, it’s her turn to offer the forbidden fruit to Adam. He considers. Refuses. “I will not disobey Father,” he insists. Eve persists. Finally, Adam looks into heaven and weighs the options. His decision: it’s more important to disobey God than to have their precious union broken-up.

What a tremendous temple statement! What an amazing example of righteous disobedience! This, from the very first story in the bible. The foundational epic of Christianity and Mormondom highlights two “sinful” acts. Eve disobeyed God in order to bring about the human race. Adam disobeyed God in order to keep his marriage in good grace.

So, bishops & stake presidents, friends & family, reflect on the temple teachings before you encourage a believer to divorce the non-believer.

1 Corinthians 7:14 “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband.”

“The Dominant Church Narrative Is Not True”

This, according to Dr. Richard Bushman. I have many friends who have left the church because they, also, have found out what Bushman knows. More friends are on the fence. “The dominant church narrative is NOT TRUE.”

Fireside

Dr. Richard Bushman, is a serving LDS patriarch, former stake president, historian, expert on Joseph Smith, and author of Rough Stone Rolling. At a recent fireside, he was the featured speaker. During the Q&A, the following exchange took place:

Questioner: “In your view, do you see room in Mormonism for several narratives of a religious experience or do you think that in order for the Church to remain strong they would have to hold to that dominant [orthodox] narrative?”

Richard Bushman: “I think that for the Church to remain strong it has to reconstruct its narrative. The dominant narrative is not true; it can’t be sustained. The Church has to absorb all this new information or it will be on very shaky grounds and that’s what it is trying to do, and it will be a strain for a lot of people, older people especially. But I think it has to change.”

Not True

Thank you, Richard Bushman, for validating what so many of us already know! “The dominant narrative is not true!”

We have been taught, and are still teaching, things that are untrue. Untrue = false. Teaching a known falsehood = lying. Either way, unwittingly teaching falsehoods or lying, neither should an integral part of the “only true and living church.”

Somehow, our LDS culture has developed to where it’s improper, stigmatized, or outright forbidden to discuss “new information.” As a result, half truths and falsehoods are commonly taught. Openly discussing our history, doctrine and policies is not permitted, at least not in my locale.

It Can’t Be Sustained

So, why are we trying so hard to sustain & control our current curriculum and discussion?

I think many members are totally fine with the falsehoods in the church. For them, the false narrative feels safe. I’m OK with that.

However, there is a large and growing group of members who will not tolerate a narrative saturated with falsity. I have joined this group. Feeling betrayed, many have left. Feeling betrayed, I stay. Still committed to the church. Still committed to truth. No longer committed to false narratives. Life is too short. Salvation, too precious to embrace what I & Bushman know to be false.

All Truth Can Be Circumscribed Into One Great Whole

I now pay very close attention to the covenants and doctrines of the temple. At the end of the endowment ceremony, we are taught that “all truth can be circumscribed into one great whole.” Profound and thought provoking. The church is violating it’s own temple instruction. It has circumscribed falsehoods into the “great whole” and consigned much truth into hidden obscurity.

My temple covenants are more sacred to me than circumscribing a narrative that is “not true.”

Driving Members Away

I have been told that we should never discuss our true and complete history and doctrine at church. It can cause people to lose their testimonies.

What a weird thing to say! So, it’s better to hide the truth so that a person will continue to believe the “truth” that’s really not true? I know that there are adults in the church who want to be treated this way. Not this adult. In fact, most adults would say this is not adult behavior. “When I became a man, I put away childish things.”

I now see the other side. Not discussing our complete history and doctrine at church is causing members to lose their testimony. It has driven my friends right out of the LDS church. The church whose “dominant narrative is not true.”

Teaching and embracing falsehood is not good…at least, not in my neighborhood. My church is good, it’s time to get better.

Mocking God

I DON’T WANT TO DO THAT!!!

Temple Visit

For the first time in almost 2 years, yesterday, I went to the temple.

Over the past 14 months, I have searched for the meaning of the temple covenants. I was discouraged, disheartened and dismayed with what I found. Everyone says that they know their meaning. But, no one could answer basic questions, nor did they seem to care what the answers were. I spoke with local leaders, my quorum, many friends and my family.

Last Sunday, we held a joint priesthood/relief society meeting. The topic being temple attendance. We examined things that prevent us from going to the temple more often. Many chimed in with the typical excuses. I zipped my lip and kept quiet, as I seethed inside. We’ll take 45 minutes discussing priorities, planning, & babysitting, yet not spend 1 minute talking about what the covenants mean. Ever!

Last week, I had my epiphanific evening. That pivotal turning point is described in the the blog post, “Temple Covenant Epiphany.” Finally, at age 63, I feel like I have a grasp on the meaning of these sacred promises. Very exciting. So, I decided to go back to the temple and listen to them first hand, again. Lot’s of new insights. Let me describe one monumental moment.

Knock, Knock, Knocking on Mocking’s Door

Entering into covenants is the centerpiece of the endowment ceremony. Without them, it would just be a hollow ritual with a nice movie for the backdrop. At one point, we are warned of the gravity of violating these promises—God Will Not Be Mocked!

As I think back on my attitude towards temple covenants, I’m worried that I may have been mocking God all along. I’d made the covenants. But, those promises were kind of put in the back of my mind, with little consideration given to their actual meaning. My attitudes, actions, dedication, love for others, and obedience to commandments, were not really changed by my temple obligations. My daily life was mostly directed by the run-of-the-mill commandments. Seldom, probably never, did I say, “How should I act based on my temple covenants?”

In effect, these promises were yielding no effect in my life. If that wasn’t flat out mocking God, it’s got to be pretty darn close. Hopefully, I was only knocking on mocking’s door, not actually passing it’s portal.

Knock, Knock, Knocking on Heaven’s Door

Today, I have a new found respect for and understanding of the temple covenants. Mocking God? I do not want to do that. I want to knock on heaven’s door. So, I’m referring to my sacred promises everyday to guide my path.

Unholy practices? I cannot countenance them. They must be called out. Doing otherwise would be knocking on mocking’s door.

Obey all the laws of God? The Law of Common Consent IS a law of God to HIS church of the restoration. Today, for me to ignore it, would be walking over mocking’s threshold.

It’s a new day for this temple covenanted citizen of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In a few short years, I will literally be knocking on heaven’s door. No more mocking from this mere mortal.

***Disclaimer*** This represents my view of my covenants. They are between only me and God. I have no idea what the meaning of other’s covenants are. Their promises are between themselves and God.

“Tear Down this Wall”

Quoted from a seminal speech delivered by Ronald Reagan in 1987. It was given in Berlin at the Brandenburg Gate. Of course, he was referring to the Berlin Wall that divided the German city in half. It was a global symbol of repression, division & oppression. Two short years later, the infamous wall was torn down. Within four years, the entire Soviet Union ceased to exist. In its place, freedom was about to sweep over the continent.

While I was growing up, the dissolution of the “evil empire” was thought to be impossible, or at least a generation away. Once people’s desire for Liberty was set in motion, the course of history raced forward. The speed of its advancement was a surprise to most everyone.

Now….“Tear Down THIS Wall”

There is a wall in my church that divides, separates and excludes. I, Sam Young, have made sacred covenants within the confines of a modern-day temple. I have promised to avoid every unholy practice. The definition of my promise is that anything contrary to the teachings of Jesus is unholy. There is an unholy wall that, as we speak, is tearing down families in our midst. It’s time to tear this unholy wall down. Part of my temple promise is not only to avoid, but to speak out against “every unholy practice.”

The current policy regarding temple marriages states that if a couple is married outside the temple they must wait one year before being sealed. As a result, almost all marriages are performed in the temple, at the same time as the sealing. The consequence is exclusionary, hurtful and entirely unnecessary. Any parent, sibling, child, friend who does not have a current recommend is excluded from the ceremony. Dreadful!

Weddings are pivotal events in life. They should be filled with joy and celebration for everyone. Instead, this wall of division creates hard feelings that often last a lifetime. When I was married, my parents, my wife’s parents, her siblings and most of my siblings were simply shut out. My mother has since left the church. Her first doubts formed as she paced outside of the Salt Lake temple, denied inclusion in her own first born son’s wedding. Does this sound cruel to only me?

“Why is This Wall Here?”

That’s the question Reagan asked the Soviets. That’s the question my covenants push me to pose. The marriage ceremony is not a saving ordinance. There is no requirement that it be held in the temple. “Legal and lawfully wedded” applies to those performed in public as well as in the temple. So, why is this wall here? It’s time for its demolition.

What’s more it has already been dismantled in many countries around the world. From Serbia to Spain, the UK to New Zealand, Mexico and Germany, France and Brazil, from South Korea to Switzerland, and on and on and on. In all these countries, the wall of temple marriage has already been torn down. Not by our church, but by the citizens of each nation, themselves. Their laws require weddings be performed in public. The sealing then follows in private.

It’s time to tear down this wall in EVERY country where it disconnects families that are just forming. Let’s not wait for the citizens of each country to demolish this partition for us. That could take decades or never. My covenant calls me to call the church to take action.

Make a policy pronouncement. Watch the people rejoice. Parents and children. Members and non-members. Believers and non-believers. Brothers and sisters. Bride and groom. Tearing down this wall, is a no-lose proposition.

The Best Solution

There is a better way than just a pronouncement. The procedure prescribed in our own LDS cannon. Call upon the Law of Common Consent. Allow the fellowcitizens, the Latter-day Saints, to vote this wall of familial division, either up or down. We never voted for the wall in first place. Let us vote now.

Either by pronouncement or poll, “TEAR DOWN THIS WALL.”

Temple Covenant Breakthrough!!!

No Small Thing….To Me

Tonight, I had an epiphany so exciting that I could hardly wait to get in front of my computer. It may not be a big deal to any other planet inhabitant. But, it is huge to this one.

Searching the Covenants

Great emphasis is placed on the importance of keeping the covenants we make in the temple. In the summer of 2015, as part of my faith journey, I carefully reviewed those weighty promises. Quickly, I found myself with more questions than answers. For the next 3 months, I diligently searched, studied, examined and prayed in an attempt to understand exactly what my commitments meant. Attempts were made to discuss them in the men’s meeting held every Sunday. No dice. Supposedly it’s forbidden to discuss temple covenants in public. I then asked church friends and leaders in private. Initially, everybody said they understood what these sacred promises meant. With the shallowest of interrogation, NOBODY had answers. In fact, almost without exception, as I continued to press, this response would eventually rear it’s ironic head, “Sam, why do you even care?” What??? Why do I care about what the temple covenants mean??? This experience was highly disappointing. I was left disillusioned and dismayed.

When I initially entered into these fateful temple covenants, I was not told in advance what the promises even were. They weren’t explained at the time I made them. Years later, I still didn’t understand them. Then, I’m told we can’t talk about them. The coup-de-grace…..nobody else knows what they mean, either.

A Lovely, Lovely Epiphany

I don’t know exactly how or why an epiphany finally bursts into view. But, it did tonight as I drove away from a family reunion. While ruminating on my covenant disappointment, it hit me. Not with a slow burn. Rather, like a distinct and sharp crack of lightning, right before my eyes.

Today, I don’t use the word “know” lightly. But, in this instant I suddenly “knew” what it means that nobody knows what my covenants mean. And, I love this revelation. My friends and leaders can’t possibly know the meaning of my covenants. I did not make the promises to them. I made them with God! Only God and I know what I have promised!!! Only I and God decide on the terms and their meaning.

How gorgeous! What freedom! Of course, the words for the covenants are the same for all. It’s the meaning of those words that are individual and perhaps unique. We are not told the meaning of the covenants in advance. Of course not. That’s because we can’t be told their meaning by others. Our promises are determined by us. We don’t study their significance in priesthood. Of course not. That’s because nobody knows their significance except the individual covenant maker.

I have struggled to get what the higher law of the temple is. I get it now. The higher law is simply this: I am a thinking, reasonable, & grown-up adult. As such, I am trusted by God to determine exactly what I can & will promise. He sets the wording. Both, and only, He and I determine the definition. YES!!! Nobody can tell me what my covenants mean…except me.

It has been over 18 months since my last temple visit. With my new epiphanific understanding, another temple visit may now be in my future.

To all my friends and leaders who had no answers, THANK YOU. And, I mean it!

Tocubit Is Invisible's Cubit

Tag: LDS Temple