I’m Screaming–Damn the Mormon Church’s Policy

Scream

Is there no end to the twisted scenarios of Mormon bishop interactions with children?  I have not found an end yet.

Today, I have been transferring more stories of immoral bishop interviews.   The highest leadership of the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints condones this behavior.  Never a word of condemnation for bishops’ abusive verbal assaults.  Never a single word of apology or reconciliation to the child victims of their own policies.  NEVER.

As I have read the new stories, one after another has caused me shock, tears, and anger.  Below are three examples of new lows.  Remember, the apostles of the Mormon church condone this behavior of their bishops.

Two of these children attempted suicide!!!

#992

My uncle started molesting me when I was 6 years old. At my 8 year baptismal interview, I “confessed” what my uncle was doing. My bishop told me he would make sure and “handle it”, and stressed the importance of my baptism and how it would “wash me clean again.”

It continued for years…. When a new bishop was called (or maybe wards split, fuzzy on those specifics) during my tithing settlement interview one on one with my new bishop I asked him why HF (heavenly father) was still letting me get hurt. My bishop asked if I had told anyone about it, and I told him my prior bishop knew. He told me HF was testing me and when I proved valiant to him, the abuse would end. This set me into a lifetime of sexual abuse.

In high school I got into partying. One night after a game there was a house party at a friends house. A bunch of the Mormon football players were there, and I was a very vulnerable freshman. Long story short I was “tag teamed” (as they put it) by one of the boys and his friend. It was very brutal and highly embarrassing. Because I had been drinking i was afraid to tell anyone. The boys went to school and bragged about it and making sure the entire school heard about it and knew I was a “easy fuck”. A very active LDS friend of mine felt it her duty to tell our bishop of my “sins”. I was called into a court of love and placed on probation which stripped me of my YW callings, taking sacrament, and praying in Sunday school etc. Those same boys both went on missions. I learned early on what happened when I told the truth to a bishop.

#990

When I was 14 I was interviewed for a temple recommend to go with our ward to do baptisms for the dead. It went well until the bishop asked if I was morally clean. I honestly answered yes because I knew I was. He said “I don’t believe you.” I still remember the sick feeling I had about basically being called a liar by a man I believed to be filled with the spirit of discernment. It got worse from there.

B. Do you even know what it means to be morally clean?

Me. Yes.

B. I don’t think you do. Do you masturbate?

Me. No.

B. I don’t believe you. Do you let boys touch your breasts?

Me. No.

B. I don’t believe you. Do you touch boys on their private parts?

Me. No.

B. I don’t believe you. Do you have sexual relations with boys?

Me. No.

B. I don’t believe you. I know you do things you shouldn’t but I am required to go by your answers in this interview. You know that entering the temple unworthily is a sin. I’m making a note here though so the stake president will know you lied to me.

There were more questions but you get the idea. Using the plural “boys” he was saying I was not only lying but promiscuous as well. And having been through the “crushed rose” and “used chewing gum” lessons in Young Women’s classes I felt horrible that anyone would think I was like that. By the time the interview was over I was in tears and afraid to proceed with the interview with the stake president but I knew I was worthy and really wanted to participate in the baptisms.

The stake president was great. When he asked if I obeyed the law of chastity I answered yes, prepared to be called a liar. He just said ok and signed my recommend.

Since that bishop’s interview I have been hyper-aware of doing anything that could be considered sexually promiscuous, even within my marriage! It took lots of counseling and a wonderfully understanding husband to get over the guilt and shame about sex.

#984

I grew up in a strict LDS family in Las Vegas. The inappropriate interviews began at age 12 when I started young women’s.

Age 12, Bishop asks me if I kept the law of chastity. I say yes. He then proceeds to ask me about masturbation and if I knew it was a sin. I didn’t really know what masturbation was. I knew it had sexual connotations. He told me if I ever felt like touching myself “down there” then I needed to immediately get on my knees and pray or The Holy Ghost will abandon me.

Age 13 interview. I shamefully admit to masturbating. Was asked more specific questions, did you enjoy it? Did you orgasm? I’m mortified and embarrassed. I shamefully can’t tell my parents because of my sins. Oh how I wish my parents taught me it was normal and not sinful. Anyway, I was told not to take the sacrament. I did anyway and bishop watched me. Later told me we had to talk later. I avoided him.

Interview at 14. My younger brother and I were going to the temple for baptisms with parents. He Interviews both of us at one time. Asks my brother about masturbation and makes me tell him what it means. So awkward and inappropriate.

Age 15, started lying at the interviews when asked about masturbation. Was told by bishop all my sins will be made known during the Second Coming.

Age 16, refused an interview. Told my parents I didn’t believe in the church, did not want to go. Told me I didn’t have a choice as long as I lived under their roof. Later that night I took a random amount of pills and packed a bag of clothes. I don’t remember much but I ran away. Luckily a lady found me out in the desert on east side of town. She took me home and my parents made me go to a LDS counselor which did nothing but berate my feelings.

Age 17, went to interview and that went ok for once. Before I was 18, my parent told me I had to get my patriarchal blessing. The interview with the stake president didn’t go well. I was chastised for giving into urges to touch myself. He said I could get the blessing though. I didn’t want it. How could grown men who do not know me and only obsess about masturbation possibly be a seer for Heavenly Father?

There is so much more I could add but it honestly brings up such horrible memories of the church. I truly wanted to believe but felt like I was a monster. I was deemed unworthy.

NO CHILD should ever be deemed unworthy. I don’t care the circumstances. Clergy members have NO RIGHT questioning children about masturbation. I don’t think they should discuss sexual matters ever unless a parent is present. No exceptions.

My four precious little boys will NEVER have to be questioned like that by anyone. I fear for my nieces and nephews who’s parents believe that the church is infallible.

At  the top of my voice:  THESE WERE CHILDREN!!!!!!

News Conference

Everyone of these stories recount abuse of children.  Covert psychological abuse by the bishop.  The Mormon Church has its religious freedom.  But religious freedom does not give any church the right to abuse children.  You and me and thousands of others are going to stop this horrendous practice.

A plan of action has been lined out for 2019.  This Thursday, December 20th, the stategy will be announced.

What:  News Conference

When:  December 20, 2018, 10am MT

Where:  50 West Club and Cafe, 50 West Broadway, Salt Lake City

Invitees:  All news media outlets and Friends of Protect LDS Children

26 thoughts on “I’m Screaming–Damn the Mormon Church’s Policy

  1. 4/5 of the ice burg is under water. I would guess there are hundreds of thousands of stories, if only the faithful would question the authority—one time. Thanks Sam. Hang in there buddy. Great work you are doing.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Jim – you’re right – it would be great if the faithful would question the authority being wielded against the most vulnerable members of the church. Unfortunately, the faithful will not question the authority. By definition, being “faithful” means surrendering your agency (and your critical thinking processes) to those very authorities who are committing these abuses. Challenging or questioning automatically gets one branded as a troublemaker, or – worse – an apostate, so only those who are ready to reclaim their agency will ask those questions out loud. This leaves innocent children and pre-conditioned, compliant (read: brainwashed) adults to fall prey to the kind of mental and emotional programming and manipulation that these stories reveal. It’s evil. Thank goodness for Sam Young.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. It’s a neat trick that all the churches use. Hedging any opposition with labels or threats of unhappiness. Submitting your will affects the posterior medial frontal cortex, basically activating this part of you brain through submission, hardwires belief in any dogma. Then the authority figure can get you to do anything. Heavens gate, Jonestown, and many others have proven that people that go through this process through conversion processes and submit, have physical changes in their neurology. Islam is a another prime example.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Sam, the church doesn’t abuse children. People abuse children. In every organization on the planet that people belong to, people within them abuse children. Maybe your policy should be to lock all children in padded walls at home so they can never be around any adult, even their parents, because parents are the worst abusers there are.

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      1. Church is judged by its policies. Is this logical and fair?
        Are its policies made by its leaders?
        Are its leaders some human?
        Are these above human some imperfect human? “Of course not!” and this answer is the reason of the fact that you two can make such above statements. “The leaders are perfect human, and never make bad policies. The policies are very excellent [as if we live without conscience or without God].”

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Everyone want to separate the outcomes from the church. I don’t buy that line anymore. It’s an excuse. The doctrine is damaging. Get rid if
      It, or be culpable. Period. Now it’s partly your fault for excusing uninspired and harmful practice.

      Liked by 4 people

    2. I don’t know about your experiences, Robert, but
      mu parents never sexually abused me. Instead they trusted this ‘man of god’ to sit alone with me (once a year beginning at age 12) and ask me about masturbation, purity and my sexual thoughts.
      The church policy outlines this yearly bishop’s interview and inflicts this disturbing line of questioning upon every youth to be brought up in the church.
      If your argument is really that ‘everybody abuses children everywhere’ I feel sorry for you.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Robert – I’m an Episcopalian. To work with youth at my church they do either yearly or twice-yearly training on how to work with them appropriately. Two adults per class or activity is the standard. If my priest took a child behind closed doors (and all said doors and/or rooms have plenty of windows as well) and asked said child sexually explicit questions and it was found out, the authorities would be immediately involved. I know this, sadly, from an incident a few years ago where the adult ended up turning himself in and in the end did some jail time. The same would go for any other adult doing similar things. Yes, sexual abuse can and sadly does still happen. That doesn’t mean that many things aren’t done to prevent it. The LDS church not only isn’t trying to prevent, but requires, that children be put in potentially dangerous situations. THIS IS NOT NORMAL. I don’t care if it’s YOUR normal, but it’s not anywhere else I know of.

    For heaven’s sake, I’m 42, and if he asked ME some of the questions I’d be immediately on the phone to the bishop for our part of the state, and to secular authorities if so advised. (Bishops are over local priests. Not sure of the LDS equivalent, something like stake president maybe?)

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I think the thing that saddens me the most besides the abuse to children is the abuse you, Sam , have inflicted upon the General Authorities of the Church. Your constant statements that these men condone what has happened in the past to those who were abused. How do you know that these Bishops and Stake Presidents have not had action taken against them? You can’t possibly be privy to this information. Just as people, youth and adult, lie to their leaders, how do you know that others did not have thru a church court. It is also a case of he said, she said. I don’t believe that there is a GA who actually condones such behavior. To suggest that they do, is something I would have never expected from you. But, you have changed in the last two years. Your once humble heart has hardened and this brings me great sadness. You have allowed your heart and mind to be over taken by the former members of the church who have had decades to develop their hatred towards the Church and it’s leadership. I pray that 2019 will be the year that your heart is touched once again to the Fullness and truthfulness of the gospel. Happy New Year Sam and Patty.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Do GA make Church polices? It is up to you to decide whether or not the related Church policies are abuse. If the policies are abuse, it is a structural abuse, which any policy-makers are responsible for. The key term is: Do you judge the related policies good or bad? (I believe, everyone makes one’s own judgment, based on different contexts, re: conscience, psychology, or employment, benefits transfer, etc, etc and etc.)

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Hi Janice. The GAs condone one-on-one interviews and sexual questions. I don’t know how you can possibly dispute that.

      My heart continues to be touched by the teachings and example of Jesus. His Christ. I’m making every effort to follow his gospel. Especially his strong admonition to protect the little ones.

      Merry Christmas to you my friend.

      Like

      1. Sam, you are lost, man. I told you months ago that your excommunication would happen, and it happened. In time your heart will harden much more against the Lord’s Church if you continue in this direction. Sadly, you will get to the point that you will hate so much the Church that you will want to puke (if you’re not feeling that way now). Go back, brother. It’s enough. Throw away all this filthiness and look for all the good around you. It’s not up to you to fix the Lord’s Church.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hmmmm. When I see children being harmed I can’t turn my back. “Throw away all this filthiness?” That’s what I’m asking the church to do. Throw away the filthiness that you just read about in this blog.

        Liked by 3 people

  5. My comment is directed at Sam Young as I’m curious to know of your time as a Bishop and the one on one interviews you’ve personally conducted. First off, I’m glad that you are engaged in such an important concern in the LDS church. Any reasonable person will agree that a bishop should not be asking any sexual explicit questions. My concern is the attack on the one on one interviews. As a bishop, did you not have a youth confide in you about a personal matter? Seeking your guidance or counsel. Out of all your meetings during the Sabbath day,was not the time spent with the youth the most important? Our younger years are the most important years of our lives. One on one interviews can be of great value and worth to the youth in these troubling times. Especially regarding the morality decay as we see it in our society today.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Dustin. Great question. I hope that the one-on-one interviews I had with children were uplifting to them. However, I believe that the same benefit could accrue with the parents in the room. If I had to do it over again, I would not do one-on-ones. We have been normalized to accept one-on-ones as beneficial with kids. No other church that I know of allows this. We shouldn’t either for several reasons.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Sam, you stated yourself that you believe that your one on one interviews were uplifting to the youth. Why not allow that same fortitude to other Bishops, youth and parents to chose. Like yourself, there are and has been great Bishops that took their callings seriously and have been honorable. Sexual predators are masters of manipulation, deceit and trickery. They strategize and work their way into our schools, religion and other settings to unleash their evil plans to fulfill their sexual desires. The best way to protect our youth is to empower, uplift, educate and encourage them to report to police when they occur. Which your campaign to protect LDS children has done.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Nowadays, the 1-on-1 interview becomes a structural abuse, via the sex questions.

      Reporting to the police is just one option to empower the victims, depending on how tough the victims are able to be.

      There are other options too.
      (1) Another option is to stop the structural abuse, via making good policies.
      (2) Victims can be empowered, via highlighting the abusing the related structures.

      Liked by 1 person

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