Excommunication is a violent act

chopping block

Excommunication is a violent act!

I first heard this statement from John Dehlin on a Mormon Stories podcast.  I dismissed it as an emotional exaggeration.

Then it was my turn.  As the excommunication tribunal approached, I was not thinking, “This is going to be violent.”  My immediate interest was figuring out how to use the church court to as a vehicle to bring more awareness to the plight of Mormon children.

Now I know better.  Post excommunication, if you choose to continue associating with the Mormon community, it messes with your head.  The frequency and duration of the trauma is  gradually subsiding.  Sometimes it comes rushing back, if only for a moment.  Today, was one of those moments.

My wife went to church this morning.  A former member of our congregation was visiting.  She is a fine person.  Our families have been friends for years.   Due to her husband’s church status, she hobnobs with the elite leadership of the LDS Church.  Of course, my wife was happy to see her.  They chit-chatted about what the kids and grand-kids were doing.  My name was never bought up.

Here’s the violent part.  As my wife shared the encounter with me, I thought, “This old friend believes that at the end of mortality , my wife will be given to another man!!!  That she will be a polygamous wife for eternity.  Relegated to the unenviable status of the 2nd, or the 3rd or the 100th wife.  Never to have any association with her excommunicated apostate husband ever again.   Behind the polite smile, my friend believes that my children will be provided another father.  My grandchildren will be given to another grandfather.  Their beloved dad and granddad ripped forever from their presence.”

I don’t believe any of that crap.  It’s idiotic made-up doctrine.  Conjured up to justify the aspirations of a few men to have sex with as many women as their loins desired.

My TBM* friends claim that they believe what the prophets have taught.  They KNOW that the Mormon Church is the ONLY true church on the face of the earth.  They KNOW that the prophets and apostles speak with and for God.  If they KNOW all that, then they must believe that my wife, children and grandchildren will be torn from my side and given to a worthy and righteous man.  Perhaps to the very husband of our friend in high places whose conversation brought all these thoughts to mind.

Excommunication is a violent act!

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*TBM = True Believing Mormon