Another LDS Stake Takes Steps Towards Comprehensive Protection for Their Children

British Flag 2Adventures in LDS Safeguarding in the UK – Some great news!

By Peter Bleakley

Safeguarding children from sexual abuse in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is absolutely the last thing I want to even think about, never mind get involved in proactive advocating for.  It is disturbing, depressing and it should definitely be someone else’s responsibility.  But the tragic reality is that the people who should be taking responsibility for it too often are not, specially at the top of our global organisation, so it has by default become the job of grass roots members to do the Mormon thing and take action where there is a need.

As I grew up in the Church the first I became aware of this being an issue was when a relative of mine in Ireland was supporting a victim of abuse and having their testimony and trust in the priesthood leadership rocked by the dreadful failures in how they responded to the situation.  It was my first glimpse of all the key ingredients of the horrors that ripple out from LDS child abuse scandals still today – totally untrained local clergy not knowing how to be professional, blaming the victim, letting their perpetrator buddies in the old boys’ network off lightly, demanding that everyone forgive and forget quickly and not cause a public scandal or prosecution, and if the victim’s families refuse to play that game turning the social and legal resources of the Church and its community against them.

Some local leaders do a far better job than that, but not enough of them.  There have been some baby steps of improvement in the Church’s global practices, but not enough of them.

Nothing focuses your mind on the urgent need to revolutionise our safeguarding practices like having a case of child abuse in your own family or ward, or in my case moving into a ward still reeling from the aftermath of a serving bishop being convicted and imprisoned for child abuse-related offenses as we did a few years ago.  It strips away all the comforting buffer zones of wishful thinking and complacency and tears open a wound that is very hard to heal for everyone.  Every parent questions why they sent their children into one-to-one interviews with that person with a mandate to discuss the most private details of their sexual selves and experiences.  They agonise over what might have been, or actually was.  The abuser’s line managers and fellow leaders question how it was they felt spiritual witnesses confirming that they should sustain and ordain that person to a position of authority and responsibility when they were absolutely the last person God would have wanted or needed in that position of trust.  The families of the perpetrator and victims are embarrassed and traumatized.  Nothing will ever be the same again.

And then hopefully the inevitable next question is, how on earth did we as responsible adults who know that child abuse happens and have professional safeguarding training in many of our workplaces let this happen on our watch?  In our sphere of influence?  In an organisation where children should be the most safe and protected they can possibly be?  How is it possible in the Church of the Christ who valued children above all others?  Who talked about putting millstones around necks and drowning anyone hurting them?  How is it that instead of prioritising the safety of children we created written policies and cultural norms that prioritised the public reputation of the institution, the public reputation of the adult abusers, and the damaging opinions of General Authorities speaking from their out-dated and ignorant social conditioning in isolated Midwestern American religious communities instead of professional expertise and basic common sense?

Soon after that I became aware of Sam Young’s heroic campaign to Protect LDS Children that has evolved into Protect Every Child, and I started researching the Church’s official policies and guidelines regarding safeguarding.  I discovered policy statements and official declarations of an ethos of safeguarding on the Church website that were not just inaccurate wishful thinking, they were objectively delusional.  They were claiming that the LDS Church is not aware of anyone that has better safeguarding procedures than ours when in fact in the community of churches ours are among the absolute worst, and people have been telling them this for years.  They have finally had the shame to seriously edit their press release and remove most of the crazy claims about a ‘gold standard’, but still it seems no one with any professional safeguarding expertise has had anything to do with formulating either their propaganda or procedures.

I also discovered that the Church already practices several ingredients of our wish list in Australia.  There it is a legal requirement for anyone working with young people to have a regular background check and a card confirming this or all hell breaks loose, so the LDS Church is very careful to ensure this is followed.  People cannot be called or remain in a position working with young people if that legally mandated scrutiny lapses. They still have one to one interviews I expect, but it is a glimpse of how things could be everywhere.

My anger about the negligence became personal as I reflected on the impact throughout my adolescence and young adulthood of constant ‘worthiness’ interviews and the uninformed and unhealthy rhetoric, expectations and mind games played with LDS young regarding all things sexual.  We are fed into a mincer that piles on guilt about totally normal sexual feelings and explorations from before some of us even begin puberty.  My priesthood interviewers were unfailingly kind and exemplary role models and dear friends to whom I am profoundly grateful for their years of service contributing to my peers and I having a fantastic youth in many ways, but as they were instructed to I was regularly asked about whether I masturbated.  Like most young Mormons I soon began to learn to lie and declare I was ‘morally clean’ when I knew by those criteria I was not.

I felt guilt ridden and ‘unworthy’ pretty much all the time but my embarrassment was so deep I couldn’t bear to talk about it to anyone and only risked confessing twice at points when I was pretty sure the repercussions would be minimal.   As so many Latter-Day Saints and their therapists have described as they have reflected on this, our consciences kind of split into our public religious life and our secret shame.  Now as I reflect from an adult perspective, instead of feeling bad about that I am incredibly relieved that I protected my privacy.  I now understand that that whole process of intrusive scrutiny of children was completely unethical and psychologically unhealthy.

Young people put into a situation of an inherently abusive power relationship will have something click in their brains to protect themselves from dangerous intrusion and instinctively lie to protect their psyche from a clear and present threat.  Of course the religious indoctrination is so intense that, believing they are speaking to a man representing actual God with a magical ‘power of discernment’ to read their minds who should be answered honestly as if they are Jesus Christ because religiously there is no difference at all, many young people will not have the strength to protect their privacy by lying or simply calling their bluff and refusing to disclose such private information.  They will admit to their terrible crimes that according to the ‘For the Strength of Youth’ booklet and the teachings of the LDS prophets are all, ALL of them, even having sexual thoughts, “second only to murder.”

I would love to go back in time to my 12 year old self, pat me on the head and say “Quit feeling guilty – you are absolutely doing the right thing.  No one should be asking you about this, you are a normal healthy kid protecting your dignity and privacy.  These well-meaning but totally untrained men are not Gods, and you are frankly a proper goody two shoes.  Drugs are still bad, but definitely go to some live music concerts while these bands you love are at their peak.  Satan didn’t write their music and in the 2010’s no one even talks about that any more in the Church. Or the occult paranoia and Ouija Boards…. but I’ll let you find out about what Joseph Smith was up to with all that when you’re older and not spoil the fun.”

Most of our young people under the regime of regular harassment just go inactive and never come back.  Jana Reiss’ recent research has confirmed what we all know from our own wards, that the young teenage years are when the LDS Church loses most of the 80% of its young people globally who leave by their mid-twenties.  Why are we surprised when this is what we do to them?!  Those that stay and are honest are often fed into a totally unprofessional psychodrama of shaming Church discipline with disfellowshipment, young men having to very obviously say “No” when asked to pass the sacrament, not taking the sacrament in front of your family and entire ward, and even worse these days in the hysterical paranoia about pornography coming out of LDS communities in Deseret, being labelled an “Addict” completely inaccurately, and even being fed into the Addiction Recovery Program.  Meanwhile those of us unwilling or unaware that we should be confessing these things to our bishop look squeaky clean and progress unscrutinised through our young Church lives.

The whole thing is a mess of injustice, trauma, secrets and lies in stark contrast to what are meant to be our religious ideals and values.  I had pretty close to the mildest experience possible for a youth in the Church, beaten only by those lucky few who won leadership roulette and were never once asked about specific sexual things in interviews because their leaders were in a different branch of the random tree of leadership awareness and formative experience and passing on different norms through their lines of non-training.  But it was still far more of a burden of guilt, confusion and worry than I should ever have had to carry.

As a teacher in a boys’ secondary school with experience of delivering sex and contraception education and receiving the professional child safeguarding training that is now the norm in schools, professions and most voluntary and religious settings and organisations, I am not shy about speaking about these matters.  When Sam Young asked through social media if any supporters of the Protect Every Child campaign and petition in the UK were willing be interviewed by a journalist who had approached him, I and two others gladly volunteered and to our amazement found ourselves with a 10-15 minute slot on the BBC’s flagship news channel daily chat program ‘The Victoria Derbyshire Show’ and headed to the iconic Broadcasting House in London.  Our interviewer was superb and we were able to share our concerns in a respectful but clear way, particularly making the points that these interviews actually introduce young Mormons to the sexual practices they are meant to be deterring in unhealthy ways, and that as a body of millions of lay clergy the adult men and women running our congregations understand and practice modern safeguarding at work, but tragically too often throw it all in the bin as soon as we walk through the chapel doors.

The Church recently released a slightly interactive safeguarding training film that it will now require all members working with young people to review regularly.  This tipped me over the edge into full rage.  It claims to have been produced in collaboration with professionals, but I cannot see a shred of evidence for that anywhere in its content.  Even calling it safeguarding training is a deception.  It simply isn’t.  It’s one point repeated over and over is basically that no adult should be alone with a young person.  But it completely ignores the compulsory worthiness interviews where they often are.  They might as well not exist.  It doesn’t even take the opportunity to remind everyone of the recent change that a young person (not their parent…) can request a second adult in the room.  That’s more than negligence, it’s intentional.  And the thought that this is replacing the much more thorough professional training provided by Boy Scouts of America that at least some LDS youth leaders in the USA used to get is even more perplexing.

Real professional standard safeguarding training teaches you that an adult should never be alone with a child even once in any circumstances ever unless you are a professionally trained and supervised counsellor.  It teaches you what you must and must not do and say if a child discloses abuse to you so that you do not ask leading questions or screw up a criminal investigation.  It teaches you who your safeguarding line managers are, and who to talk to above them if you are not satisfied with their response.  It teaches you how to report suspicions you have about potential abuse to the right trained people in your organisation.  It teaches you exactly what physical and emotional signs to look for in a victim of abuse.  It teaches you how to speak to that child and reassure them as the adult they have chosen to trust, and what to do to ensure their immediate safety.  This stuff is safeguarding 101.  None of it is in the new official ‘training’ that isn’t training. This is why we must use actual professionals to deliver training in our stakes and wards until the in-house training matches basic professional standards.

In response to the scandals in our area, the UK government’s enquiries into safeguarding and abuse cover-ups in the Catholic and Anglican Churches, and the Protect Every Child campaign all shining a light on the matter, plus basic common sense, my stake leadership have been fantastic.  They decided that a much more robust protocol was required to fulfill the Church’s avowed intent, repeated in a statement at the end of our TV appearance by the Europe Area Presidency, to always be seeking ways to improve our safeguarding.  They consulted with several stake members who have high level professional responsibility for delivering safeguarding training in their professional careers.  They consulted with a Welsh member of the Church who is involved in safeguarding policies and training with the United Nations, who also delivered some excellent training for the young people and adults in our stake about the ethos and principles of a safeguarding community.  They even graciously gave me the opportunity to look over the draft policy and make recommendations.

After also consulting with the bishops to get their feedback and approval, our new stake child safeguarding policy has been released, and it is a doozy.  It has 99% of the wishlist of anyone professionally competent regarding safeguarding and the Protect Every Child campaign.  It outlines in detail what the different forms of physical, emotional and sexual child abuse are.  It describes an ethos of collective responsibility and vigilance.  It requires that every member of the Stake working with children and teenagers will have regular enhanced police background checks using the national DBS (Disclosure and Barring Service) system paid for with stake funds if needed.  We will have regular professional safeguarding training that is provided annually for free to voluntary organisations by local councils in our area, (and hopefully available in all areas of the UK), that will match the training we get as school teachers.

The most thorny issue is the 6-monthly one to one interviews starting age 11 now.   The policy states that the expected norm will be that there will always be a second adult in the room unless the young person is really insistent, after we try to persuade them otherwise, that they want to be seen alone.  If that is the case it will be a short interview with the door ajar and an adult outside.  This is spectacular progress but of course that 1%, or maybe it should be regarded as much more than 1%, of lone interviews is still an issue.  It endangers the interviewer as much as the child because there is no witness at all of what was actually said in that interview.  If an accusation is made about that the interviewer has no evidence for a legal defense at all and it is all down to who believes who in any ensuing criminal investigation.  I hope the individual leaders will recognise this and simply refuse to put themselves, their families and their careers at such risk.

But I’m not about to rain on this particular parade!  As we all get used to ministering this way the last areas of concern will I expect quickly be abandoned.  My stake has not just stepped up but taken a quantum leap towards gold standard, best practice child safeguarding. And the BIG lesson to learn is how EASY it is to do.  You just decide to do it.  All the resources and systems are there to pick up and use in the background checks and free, or more than affordable, professional safeguarding training systems out there in our communities.   Most stakes in the developed world at least are teaming with professionals who receive or even deliver state of the art safeguarding training.  We know that a proper safeguarding system looks like.  We have a lot of in-house expertise.  Our ward Relief Society president trains community carers and on one ‘5th Sunday’ delivered state of the art safeguarding training for all the adults in our ward in the Sunday School slot.  Simples.  Where there is a will there is a way.

Good ideas spread fast.  My Stake President is happy to share the new policy with other Stake Presidents if they request it – no point reinventing the wheel.  But it really isn’t that complicated to reinvent the wheel if you have to.   We can fulfill the mandate the Church has given us all to constantly improve our safeguarding, and learn from each others’ innovations and experiences.  And hopefully one day soon the international ethos and policy of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will be to ensure EVERY child in our Church has the best possible safeguarding protection available anywhere, in every ward and branch, rather than the minimum legally required by their local secular governments.  Then we will know that their priority really is the safety and well-being of every child of Heavenly Parents who love them equally, not their institutional legal defense when things inevitably go horribly, and avoidably,­­­­­­ wrong.

Powerhouse Panel of Keynotes

Powerhouse Lineup

I am excited to announce the keynote speakers for the March to End Child Abuse on Oct 5th.

We will have the honor of marching with Jan Broberg, Tanya Brown and Matthew Sandusky.  In turn, they will have the honor of marching with thousands of you.

The members of our powerhouse panel are nationally recognized child advocates.  They are pursuing the very same goal as Protect Every Child:  A world free from child abuse.

Don’t miss this historic moment in history.  The very first national march to stand up for the human right of every child to grow up safe from abuse.   As of this moment 1,048 have registered, coming from 27 states and 9 countries.  This truly is a ‘national’ event that will be epic in the annals of protecting our children.   Please register HERE.

Matthew Sandusky

Watch Matthew’s worldwide TV exclusive on Oprah Prime.

Matthew Sandusky  was a victim of childhood sexual abuse from the age of 8 to 17 at the hands of his adopted father, Jerry Sandusky.  Matthew has turned his traumatic personal experience into a mechanism to prevent childhood sexual abuse and help other survivors heal.

Matthew raises awareness around child sexual abuse in local communities, supports the life-saving work of children’s advocacy and sexual assault treatment centers, and advocates for legislative changes.  Matthew also works with researchers, clinicians, the media, politicians, social workers and child protection professionals to raise awareness and improve the quality and availability of services to survivors nationwide.

In addition to his advocacy work, Matthew is committed to empowering and educating children to use their voices and help protect them against abuse.  He is working with other advocates to implement an in-school curriculum to empower children to use their voices as a first line of defense, along with parents and teachers.

Jan Broberg

Earlier this year, Jan Broberg became known as the subject of a movie chronicling her horrific kidnapping at the age of 12, and again at 14, by a trusted family friend.  The documentary film Abducted in Plain Sight was released by Netfix and is still available for viewing.  It recounts a jaw dropping tale of manipulation, brainwashing, kidnapping and child sex abuse.  All at the hands of a man who successfully groomed young Jan, her parents and the entire church community for his malevolent purposes.

Her triumph over those early, unspeakable events was instrumental in her speaking out to “end the abuse of every child on the planet. ”  She views this cause as a primary driving force in her life going forward.

Jan is an actress, singer and dancer who has appeared in more than two dozen feature films, numerous television series, and countless stage productions.

Tanya Brown

Tanya Brown is no stranger to adversity or trauma.  Her family name was seared into the national consciousness at the time of the O.J. Simpson trial for the murder of Tanya’s sister, Nicole Brown Simpson.  With the loss of Nicole, she has faced overwhelming life challenges but used these obstacles to ultimately improve the quality of her life.  Tanya became a domestic violence advocate, doing speaking engagements and training that would inform people about the horror of abuse at home.

Ten years after the loss of her sister, Tanya suffered a mental breakdown; and as a result, she has made a personal commitment to speak on the issues of how to overcome adversity and promote HEALTHY mental health for overall well-being.

 

Three More Weeks to Unfurl Banners

Ana Leyendo-3In preparation for The Children’s March which will occur in Salt Lake City, Utah on October 5, 2019, Protect Every Child would like to share an update on the Climb A Mountain Save A Child portion of our activism for this year.

Many of our supporters have already participated in this effort. They have done a fantastic job raising public awareness of the epidemic of child abuse. It is our hope that through this awareness, more and more people will join us in calling for protection measures to be put in place in all child-serving institutions. These wonderful people have created or purchased flags, planned climbs, scaled obstacles and unfurled their banners. I wish to personally thank every one of them for the caring and courage they each so freely gave to our cause.

I don’t want the world to forget what they have done. At protecteverychild.com we now have a growing series of posts connected to the page called Banners Unfurled. Any interested persons can go there to see the pictures and read the messages that our intrepid supporters have submitted to me and to PEC. With the march being only 24 days away, I would like that day to dawn BRIGHTLY because it has been preceded by the colors of a three-week Fall Color Tour of our Protect Every Child banners.

Therefore:

I would like to invite anyone who hasn’t yet climbed a mountain to save a child to make the attempt now. You can make your own flags, or buy them from Protect Every Child. Your banner can be as simple as a hand-lettered posterboard, or a picture drawn by a child with our slogan on it . We’ll take it! We know that many of you would like to do more, but that distance, health, finances or the timing have simply made it too busy to climb this summer. Many have told me these issues are also preventing them from being able to join in our projected 5,000 member Children’s March on October 5th. We honor your good hearts. We thank you for your belief and encouragement.

So that you may feel at one with us, when we march in Salt Lake, we invite as many of you as possible, across this nation and across the world, to let your local and online participation over the next three weeks be your contribution to the children and to this cause on their behalf.

Second, I want to stress that for a child, mountains come in many forms. I encourage supporters to continue to hike their hills and scale their mountains. However, I would also like to invite you to choose to take your stand in front of any child-serving institution in your community.  For a child who is vulnerable, endangered or being abused, their mountain may very well be an institution. On the other hand, their way over and out of their mountains may be the help that they find because of a child-serving institution. So stand in front of those homes, those churches, those schools and day care centers, those public libraries and public recreation centers, those runaway and homeless youth services. Stand in front of those places which society roars out, “This institution should be a safe place for kids!” If the place you are thinking of serves children, it qualifies.

Third, I invite PEC supporters to take pictures and video at that chosen place and then share it. Email it. Post it on your social networks and in social media. Hashtag #ProtectEveryChild. Hashtag #FallColorTour. You can even share your story with us, to whatever degree you feel comfortable, by emailing it to liberty-sam@msn.com . With your written permission, my small team of volunteers and I will help everyone know how beautifully and well you have joined in on the cause to Protect Every Child.

Fourth, I invite past, present and future Climber-Unfurlers to INVITE A FRIEND to participate in the Climb A Mountain And Save A Child campaign during this three-week Fall Color Tour leading up to The Children’s March. Plan your event and take them with you. If they live too far away plan a date to climb together or simply invite to tell them about the cause of protecting children. We want to spread the word. Despite being eight months into our effort and less than a month away from the March, there are still too many people who don’t know about Protect Every Child.

May those practices and policies which have caused too many children’s hearts to fall… be ended. May the colors of autumn, combined with the hopeful colors of our banners, remind the children that things can and will change. As sure as autumn follows summer, a harvest of hope will come. With every color of the rainbow, that hope will look forth on that October morning, fair as the moon, clear as the sun and terrible as an army with banners. It will rise, 5,000 people strong, through the streets of Salt Lake City… and shine.

You can register for the march HERE.

 

Unforgivable. Unpardonable.

Unforgivable. Unpardonable.

Sue Krupa Triplets

**Trigger Warning–Child Sex Abuse**

This story changed the lives of three darling little triplets.  Innocent before God and the world.

This story changed me, too.  The privileged, me.  The tragedy free, me.  The perfect childhood, me.  I have wept long and hard.  And continue to, as I type.

**Trigger Warning–likely this will change you**

Every story hits hard.  This one landed a blow deep into my soul.

Screams from a 10 year old boy, as the unthinkable happened in a tent on a hill.

I have had this story for a few days.  As a nightmare in daylight, it has haunted me.  I’m sure that will pass.  But, oh…how does this tragedy ever pass from the triplets?

**Final Trigger Warning–Turn back now if you have any trepidation**

This letter is from a friend of mine.  A friend that I cherish and love.  Recently, she honored me with her trust by sharing her story.  Thank you Sue.

Brethren,

I am writing to you today with hopes that my story will not fall on deaf ears. My name is Sue Krupa-Gray and I was a member for over 4 decades. I believe my story is a prime example of why the church needs to stop interviewing children behind closed doors, especially in regards to sexuality or anything related.

I was about 12 when I was called into my bishop’s office for an interview I will never forget. I’m sure it had something to do with advancement into the YW program. My bishop began asking me a few simple questions, which I answered. But when the subject matter evolved into personal inquiries about my time spent with boys, kissing, touching, and other sexually based subjects, I froze. It’s not that I had done anything wrong. I froze because of the nature of the questions. I froze because he wanted details and became pushy when I silenced myself. I froze because of something the LDS church played a part in.

Let me give you some of my back story.

When I was 9-10 years old we had a home teacher named Richard Bell placed in our home. He was single, came around far more than the required once a month visit, and he spent a lot of time with my triplet brothers, often excluding me. He never arrived with a partner. (Because my mom was single he should have had red flags placed all over him, but no one questioned anything.) He took the boys swimming a lot, played in the yard with them, brought gifts, prompted tickle fights, and took a liking to them. He was eccentric and creepy and he was grooming them for a moment that would change the lives of three children…forever.

The long and short of a complicated and far more detailed story is that Richard Bell marched my two brothers up a hill, in broad daylight, at a church campout and no one questioned him, even though he had a small tent thrown over his shoulder. What he did to my brothers is unforgivable. The repercussions that followed each of us is unpardonable.

My brother Robert, who had been asked to give him oral sex, recounted the events with me years later after I came out with my own story. After confronting Dave in our teens he also shared some details, but immediately closed down. Eventually, I was able to put the pieces together.

Rob wept as he recalled listening to our brother scream and cry in the tent as Richard molested him. My brothers were 10 years old. 10. Soak that in for a moment, please.

Dave later had a nervous breakdown at age 15 and has spent most of his life in an institution. Many believe the molestation changed the course of his life. I absolutely do too.

The story does not stop there. That same brother, Dave, began to come into my room the next year and I was molested. It changed the course of my life in numerous ways. A counselor assessed that the abuse he endured sparked a rage and unhealthy sexuality in him, hence pushing him to act against me, of all people. There is an eerie frost that still abides in me today when I think of what took place.

The next year my brothers decided to move out of our unstable mom’s home. I wanted to go too, but couldn’t because I did not want to be near my brother, my abuser. It was one of the hardest and most gut-wrenching choices I have ever made. I lost being a triplet. I lost having siblings that were all now living with my dad. I went from being one of 7 children and a triplet with built-in comrades to being alone. I survived for 6 more years with a mom that suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder. 

I left home at 17 and never returned. I lost more than I can describe in words. My family never knew the true reason for my departure until I was almost 39, though I shared fragments with my dad.

The last birthday we triplets celebrated together was when we were 11 years old. We were born together….meant to be together. And one heinous act destroyed that.

Ask yourself this? What if the church had asked more questions about Richard Bell? Why sit and harass me, a 12-year-old girl about petting and kissing? I sat in the office of that bishop feeling humiliated and shamed and had done nothing wrong. That same bishop already had it out for our broken family because we did not fit the perfect Mormon mold. We all knew it.

I spoke up a year later when I was once again called in to talk about things he had not been trained to talk about and were unnecessary. I asked him “why are you allowing Richard to hurt boys? Why not care about what he is doing to people? And I blurted out what happened to my brothers and others in the ward. (By this time rumors were flying.) Steve Underdown was his name. And the only reply he had was: “I think people are blowing Richard’s weirdness out of proportion and misreading him.” He had closed the case without one question! Yet, he had a ton of questions for me about sex, touching, and things that were none of his business. I sat mortified.

These bishops are not prepared for the trauma people deal with. These bishops do not have degrees or knowledge to help people. I realize there are many good men in the role of the bishop, but, there are also many uninspired, predatorial, sexist, and misogynistic men wearing suits and playing God that are doing more harm than good.

Richard Bell married a blind woman in our ward who had at least 2 sons. They eventually had a son together. All of those boys were molested, the baby was 6 months old. There are court documents, though he got off because of a legal technicality. He also was arrested for a molestation of a crippled girl in Colorado. He went to a different congregation and groomed her before he hurt her. I am enclosing a picture of him in his prison jumpsuit. He is a prodigy of Mormonism in so many ways.

Another church went after him. How sad I was to see that the Mormon church did nothing!

So let me strongly state my opinion.

1) You have no right to question youth about sexuality, sex, or other natural things. That is a parents job. If there’s no parent, then that is the job of another adult that cares for them or someone they trust. These interviews are damaging, inappropriate, and wrong.

2) Sexuality is God-given and need not be shamed. The LDS church perpetuates such ugly notions of sex to youth. And then you have the gall to ask bishops to close a door, make a child feel intimidated, and ask them if they have touched themselves or participated in sexual acts. Do you understand how wrong that is? What about the kids like me that endured sitting in an office, weeping inside because I felt so bad and wrong for what had taken place with my own brother? Do you not have any idea how shaming that felt? Do you know how confused it made me?? My bishop had no skills or training to talk about such a loaded subject. And my bishop clearly had no promised gifts of discernment or inspiration. He never even reported Richard to the authorities. He instead protected the church and a priesthood holder.

3) Isn’t it time for the church to stop repressing people, shaming them, and making them feel awful for having sexual feelings? When will the church focus on helping people find feel joy, despite mistakes and being human? Christ did not walk around guilting and bullying people. In fact, I’d imagine He was the opposite. He probably took time to talk, to understand, and to grant empathy and compassion. I’m pretty sure he would ask the youth “what can I do to help you? How are you? What do you need to become more?” He would not be prying into their sexual actions or sending hopeless messages about sin.

4) When will LDS Inc., look at LGBTQ members and people and see just people? Your brutish Nov 5th policy walked me out of the church doors forever, along with a dishonest version of history. Love is love. Stay out of people’s bedrooms, please. There are plenty of homeless, hungry, naked, and suffering that deserve attention.

STOP. Stop closing doors on youth visits. Stop asking them about things your bishops and other leaders really have no right to be involved in. Stop avoiding the real problems in the church. How about you devote some time to this latest sexual predator and all that you allowed him to get away with before you pressure or shame another young child about their sexuality or feelings?

There are many apologies owed. You can feel free, to begin with the one my brothers, family, and I are owed.

Someday, I hope the church can practice what it preaches instead of bullying members, labeling people you know nothing about, and shaming youth in order to manipulate and control them.

I didn’t lose my faith; I simply found my truth.

Sincerely,

Sue Krupa-Gray

The priesthood pedophile in his prison jumpsuit:

RonBell

_______________________________________________

Dear Sue,

Your letter is addressed to the “Brethren.”  I hope they read it.  Unfortuantely, that’s not in your or my control.

However, I view your letter as also directed at me.  I’ve read it.  I bawled my eyes out over it.  And….I AM GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Unforgivable?  Unpardonable?  Those are the very words that I would apply to myself if I sat silent and did nothing.

Thank you my friend.  I’m sorry for what happened to you.  Sorry enough to stay the course of Protecting The Children.

Note

Sue plans to participate in the rally on March 30th.  Her role will be one of 15 ambassadors who will deliver the books “Sacred Stories of Sacred Children.”  A personalized volume will be printed for each apostle.  She will be an ambassador representing the thousands of children who were egregiously wronged by our Church policies.

Please join her and 1,100 others as we March To Protect The Children.