“I Know That You Will Save Lives”

Birthday Candles

After my recent announcement, several friends have asked, “Do you still  plan to travel to SLC and vote opposed at April General Conference?

I’ll let you draw your own conclusion.

Yesterday, I received this message.

I’ve read several of your blog articles and they are deeply moving.

I’m pretty sure you will not change the church, I’m afraid this church is beyond redemption. But I also know that you will save lives. That somewhere a boy or a girl stuck in the church will be able to overcome self-loathing and suicidal thoughts. That somewhere a father will not reject his son. That more and more people will start to question their behavior towards gays. Because of your dissent, and the dissent of people you have inspired. And for this, yes, all your efforts are meaningful, even if the church never changes.

I know it because I was once a gay teenager in this church. Those years were awful years of self-loathing, despair and loneliness. I was constantly reminded that I was broken and evil by everyone around me, and seriously contemplating suicide. It would have meant a lot to me if someone in the church had dissented by voicing his concerns about these ill-teachings, and his support of gay people (or even only by carrying a rainbow ribbon). Nobody did.

So I thank you for your dissent, in the name of the young boy I was, and in the name of all people suffering in silence in this church.


4 thoughts on ““I Know That You Will Save Lives”

  1. Sam,
    While I feel badly for you (and for myself, as I am in a similar situation), the real tragedy here is the church itself. While there are many nice people there, very few have the integrity you have. The church harms our LGBT brothers and sisters in a particularly deplorable way, but it also hurts others. It has nothing to do with Jesus, and its structure is the antithesis of the kingdom described in the scriptures. I feel as if you have stood up for us all. Thank you. I admire and respect you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You have done just that, Sam. You are a Saint among so-called Saints, a champion. I couldn’t stay in. Being gay was ok, but the suggestion I remain alone in my own private hell was not. I’ve intentionally become more outspoken, among my many LDS FB friends. I have received some backlash. See my post on the horrifying truth behind BYU’s aversion therapy where I was basically told to get over it. I’m not over it and I never will be. Saving Alex, if you haven’t read it, tells the horrifying reality of aversion and conversion therapy…she’s only 22ish, now, so her story isn’t something I’ll get over. My parents offered to send me to Evergreen when I came out in ’99, but I’d heard from a friend who had been there and I knew aversion therapy was still alive and well and I told my father as much. Still, he left the offer on the table. So, in the name of all of us who have gone, are going, or will go thru the throes of shaming, shunning and rejection thank you!
    I’ve had one young woman come out to me since I resigned, and 3 friends in various stages of their own faith crisis’ have reached out to me in the last week, alone, so on both sides of membership progress is being made in varying ways (my SIL told me that when I get married their family would like to be there because they love me and have never seen me so happy!), but it is progress. Love is love and I thank you for exuding that…one person, one family at a time, we are making a difference. Much love.


  3. Sam,

    The photo of the young boy and his birthday cake speaks volumes. Here is what that photo said to me:

    . . . from the perspective of a fly on the wall inside the collective heart and mind of The Brethren . . .

    ” Hmmm. Nice little future tithe payer there. It’s hard to tell when they are young which ones will choose to follow Satan by liking boys instead of girls. Actually, we couldn’t care less about Satan, who exists only in the imaginations of the clueless member sheep. They believe whatever we tell them to believe. What we actually don’t like (and DO care about) is the fact that boys with boys do not generate very many new tithe payers to keep our ingenious, wildly successful, gold mining scam in operation. Yes, we do realize that many of them will commit suicide in response to the complete rejection of who they are that we dispense from our pulpits. That collateral damage is a small price to pay when we consider how many of them will buckle to the brainwash and marry a girl anyway. At lease we will harvest a few new tithe payers that would never be born if we were to love and accept our LGBT members is if they were also children of the same God. By the way, we don’t actually give a crap about God (or Jesus) either, who also exist only in the imaginations of our clueless dupes. Is this not an incredible Business Model? Are we not friggin’ financial geniouses? Yes! We are! And we don’t have to kill anyone to maximize our revenue stream. We simply talk them into killing themselves!”

    Sam, I don’t have to tell you that it is simply BEYOND UNCONSCIONABLE that the suicide rate in Utah is several times the national average. We all know that statistic is DIRECTLY TRACEABLE to The Brethren’s rejection and damning judgment of their gay members. Fifteen Spiritual Dwarfs (and their accomplices) have directly caused the suicide DEATHS of literally hundred of young Mormons. And not to mention the lifetime of self-loathing and relentless misery and emotional torture that is endured by those who only seriously consider suicide and do not follow through on what they see as the ONLY EFFECTIVE SOLUTION to the lethal trap set for them by The Brethren.

    The garden variety, attending Mormon cannot let in the reality of how dark and disgusting are the hearts and souls of those oh-so-pious monsters in expensive suits who spew truly lethal threats from their corporate pulpit … all in the name of … who? In whose name do they speak? … Whose name?

    Jesus Christ?


    You gotta be kidding me.


    Thank you, Sam, for continuing saving lives endangered by THE ONLY TRUE CHURCH on Earth. If ever there was a true Pearl of Great Price, you are one of those.


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