The following happened within the last several months.
My husband is the bishop’s son and I got pregnant before he proposed. It was no surprise when my father-in-law called me into the bishop’s office to ask if I wanted to repent. I said yes because obviously I wanted to go to heaven and how am I supposed to tell my father-in-law and bishop “no thanks, I’m good with my sins.” I had no idea what the process entailed but I was definitely not prepared for him to ask me to describe what sexual acts I did with his son and how often we did them.
A father-in-law asking his soon to be daughter-in-law what sex acts she engaged in with his son is twisted and disgusting. Sick on so many levels. Yet, it is totally condoned by the Mormon Church. Do you hear my Mormon friends how revolting this sounds? Unhealthy & wholly unnecessary. I have already stood up and openly stated how abhorrent this practice is. The Church’s response was to kick me out. Foolish men. And that’s all they are…men.
This women was 18 at the time. I think she’s 19 now. One of my daughter’s was also pregnant at 19. As a teenage married woman, heavy with child, she sat across from her bishop, all alone, as he posed his nasty question, “Do you masturbate?” It angers me to think that my daughter was subjected to this.
Mormon’s, how do you tolerate this behavior? How do you put up with prophets, seers and revelators who condone & foster this ugly practice? They are no friend to children and families while they continue to harbor that which is unwholesome and unsavory.
I hope you are starting to realize that the Church and it’s culture have conditioned you to accept practices as normal that are abhorrent to EVERY SINGLE PERSON OUTSIDE THE CHURCH.
I encourage you to stand up and speak out. Don’t humiliate yourself by allowing your church to shame children and adults with interrogations about sexual positions, masturbation and all the other pornographic and damaging questions that are permitted by your leadership. It’s incumbent on you to make your own church better.
I invite you to climb a mountain and save a child.
Tocubit Is Invisible's Cubit 
The reprehensible behavior of Mormon leadership continues to deteriorate. More and more people with a conscience and morals are requesting their names be removed from the membership roles. I asked for my name to be removed as a member after I watched astounding amounts of members’ tithing money used to corrupt elections and the Democracy of this country. They are in clear violation of the U.S.Constitution. They should have their tax-exempt status revoked or GET OUT OF GOVERNMENT!
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Sounds like more and more we find out how political the church is. I’d like to know more about tithing being donated for elections…any place I can find info? Thank you for saying something.
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It is the interest earned by tithing money that is used to fund other endeavors. The church has many entities funded with just the interest.
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I like your take. I don’t get why the repentance process is not only for people who genuinely feel the need to repent, but instead seems to be frightfully demanded of people. I mean, if you feel you did something wrong, so you go and talk about it to a carefully selected, trusted person(s), then great! Right? But if you have to be told you’ve done something horrible and are required and pressured to talk about it, that seems wrong. At the very least, unhelpful.
However, at the risk of being too precise, “Recently shared with me” makes it sound like the individual this happened to sought you out. From what I can tell, it was publicly posted on r/exmormon yesterday. Shrug.
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Good point. You can see our interchange on reddit. I’ve now edited the article.
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If one leaves the LDS/Mormon Church without resigning it is possible that by failing to draw a line in the sand, one may still retain some characteristics of the Mormon Church which is known to be the most judgemental church “upon the face of the earth”.Once one resigns it is truly remarkable to feel the shackles literally falling away.It is actually no-one’s beeswax if someone has tattoos (Daniel Day- Lewis has several…how could one criticise a man of such incredible genius?) And if one decides to have one’s sons circumcised… do not find fault with that … Jesus Christ was circumcised.
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Yet again logical fallacies used. That behavior is not condoned nor is it common. Maybe someday you’ll acknowledge that.
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Uh, you really don’t want to get logical. That is not a good move for you.
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I find your post puzzling. What behavior is not condoned nor common? I can’t imagine you mean bishops asking “what and how often” about sex. I can’t imagine you mean bishops interviewing their own children. Maybe you mean there are few questions of soon-to-be daughter-in-laws? If so, on what do you base your assumption? I would think there are a large number of marriages of bishops children where both parties are in the same ward, and thus bishops have been encouraged to ask them both precisely these kinds of questions.
You know, the first step of repentance (and I do believe this is behavior that calls for repentance) is to recognize that one has sinned. The LDS are never going to get clean until they recognize what a filthy practice they have endorsed for many years.
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Some may suppose that thousands of people who have been asked sexually explicit questions when going to their bishop is not that common. It is condoned because there is no policy against it.
I was taught going to the bishop was to help me through the repentance process. That is what I heard in Sunday school, in relief society, and in sacrament meeting.
Why is it in none of these meetings is it discussed how exactly the bishop helps a person through the process? Why is it not discussed what types of questions a person may be asked? Change cannot happen if others do not know about it.
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It is condoned. Maybe someday you will acknowledge it. Eventually the church will be forced to change it. Even if they don’t acknowledge it. They are horrid at admitting wrong doing and have issued a prophetic mandate that the church nor its upper management are never to apologize. How Christlike!
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I’ve never had a temple recommend interview where sexual questions were not asked and not a single one where the bishop didn’t question what kind of underwear I was currently wearing.
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Spot on. What is experienced is called ecclesiastical voyeurism. When going on my Mormon mission near 45 years ago was fresh green and sitting across the desk from the mission president 1st day in the mission field for an interview. After the pleasantries, first question was How often did I have sex with animals? and the questions went down hill from there. Had I not been so naïve and brainwashed like so many, I would have stood up and announced I was returning home because I would not be serving with a pervert. But I took it and went on to my proselyting area. Happened several times with others after. When a father I told my sons that ever if they felt uncomfortable with a Mormon interview they were free to walk out and I would back them. My sister took it a step further and told her bishop that under no circumstances were he or his counselors to EVER interview her children. Seems so strange, we would never condone a stranger asking our children intimal sexual questions, but we turn our children over to these perverts with no question whatsoever. And worse, these ‘leaders’ have no responsibility to relay any of information to us the loving and concerned parents. Pathetic and sick.
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WAIT. He asked how often you had sex with ANIMALS?????
That’s repulsive.
I always find myself asking questions like… why, why would someone ask that? Based on WHAT? Like, did they happen to walk in the barn and catch you actually having sexual with animals, therefore prompting the “so… how often does this happen?”
Aside from that specific scenario, how do you even go there??! I just don’t get it. I’m a woman, didn’t serve a mission, but do they routinely ask the sister missionaries this too? My point is, it makes absolutely no sense and has zero place in a interview with anyone (unless from a police officer during your arrest for animal torture). I’m a member, I’ve had dozens of worthiness interviews and apparently I just had regular normal bishops who never asked more than the basic- “so do you do all the things?”
I’m so sorry that happened to you, it’s sick and totally wrong. Peace to you.
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About 20 years ago I got pregnant out of wedlock. I can’t remember if I was asked humiliating questions (at this particular time), but the bishop did want me to get up in front of the singles ward and inform/confess my pregnancy. Might as well sew a scarlet A on my clothes! I needed support at the time, not judgment. Never went back.
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Here is more information about how the Church uses members’ money.
https://kutv.com/news/local/mormonleaks-says-new-documents-link-lds-church-to-companies-worth-over-32-billion
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I remember this type of happenings…wise judges recuse themselves while ones that don’t in these situations are dishonest with bias self important role as “judge in Israel”.
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I am active LDS. If a bishop really did do this, and subjected my daughter to this. I would not hesitate to murder him in cold blood.
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https://kutv.com/news/local/mormonleaks-says-new-documents-link-lds-church-to-companies-worth-over-32-billion
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I was a Mormon. I served a church mission to Hong Kong. Although I’m no longer an active member (any organized religion makes my stomach turn), the majority of the church members are normal, sincere people that are trying to make sense of this crazy world that we live in. Don’t most/many religions consider the deplorable acts above “sins”? Don’t most religions teach that to be forgiven of a “sin”, you must confess it? For many, confessing the sin is an act of absolution, and I’ve seen people weep with joy, upon telling another trusted person the things that they’ve done. I wrote a book about a man so troubled by his past, that he sought release through Suicide on Mount Everest. Check out “Suicide By Everest” at Scottthurman.com and sin no more! 🙂
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This whole issue is confusing as I think Mormons (and generally speaking Christians) hold the view that Jesus Christ has atoned for their sins and therefore the slate is wiped clean; however this does not apply to major sins which tend to be of a sexual nature.Then on the other how can one receive the atonement if one does not acknowledge that one has in fact sinned. In the Mormon Church one is subjected to interrogation such as: “Are you chaste?” in order to determine if one is worthy to enter the temple. There is only one solution and to illustrate, two of our sons at different times shared some rather hair-raising information with me…in both instances “far too much Information.” My advice as I think they approached me knowing that Mama would not condemn or judge harshly as she dearly loves her sons and daughters, was in both cases, that there is absolutely no reason for them to confess this to ANYONE, no-one at all except for God. No-one on this beautiful earth of ours has been commissioned by God to interrogate anyone else regarding their spiritual worthiness (he who is without sin etc., etc.,) Just recently my precious son in attempting to inform me of a situation…place where, how, why, replied ” Mama if you want to know more you’ll have to ask God” with a chuckle in his voice. I was most gratified and reaffirmed that he did not have to tell me details and vice versa. refer: Karen Armstrong A History of God pg. 188 paragraph 3 “There was no need for a caste of priests to act as mediators.” The truth of the matter is that while I was held captive by all the control exerted by Mormon Priests this son of mine was not influenced by them at all and was learning the ways of God.
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