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Excommunication News Conference

microphones-1-1.jpgOn Sunday, September 16, I stood before 5 TV news cameras and 250 supporters in the shadow of the Salt Lake Temple.  A few days before, the verdict of my disciplinary council had been delivered to me in a sealed envelope.  On this occasion I opened the letter and read it to the world.  Here are the words I dispensed in response.

Last Sunday, September 9,  a disciplinary Council was convened to consider the disposition of my membership.  I have been formally accused of apostasy. 

The court began at 6pm and lasted 1 ½ hours.  During the tribunal, my stake president, the Church’s official representative in my area, spent 15 minutes presenting the evidence against me.  I was then allowed 45 minutes to present my case.  The Stake President then made a declaration that surprised me.  He stated that no decision would be announced that night.  Instead, the verdict would be given to me in a few days.  Sure enough a few days ago, 2 men arrived at my place of business and delivered this envelope containing my sentence.

It’s likely that this is the first time in Mormon history that a disciplinary council decision has been opened in public by the accused.  Usually, excommunication is viewed with shame and dishonor.  My case is diametrically different.   Whatever decision is rendered, whether it’s excommunication or exoneration, I will wear it as a badge honor.   It will be my reward for standing up to protect our children and for having given a voice to the countless children in our past who have been so badly harmed behind closed doors. 

(I then opened and read the letter.  You can link to it HERE.)

Excommunication

What a supreme disappointment.  Let me start by forgiving my stake president.  In a church court he is the sole decision maker.  No one else has a vote.  But, I’m not going to lay this travesty on him.  I don’t believe he had any choice.  This has been orchestrated by the very people who felt their authority was threatened by me—the leadership at the very top.  They have shown their true colors.  This verdict is all about them and their power structure.  They sent down the edict to protect themselves rather than to protect our precious children.

They continue to mandate one-on-one interviews where sexually explicit questions are approved and facilitated.  I have confronted these top church leaders with a list of 29 disgusting, filthy questions that are being asked to our children.  They responded with silence!  The First Presidency condones this pornography behind closed doors with our children.  That is sickening.  I presented the same 29 probing questions as evidence at my tribunal.  They were not silent.  They excommunicated me.  The whistle blower has been kicked out and branded with the label of apostasy.

I also presented the apostles with several thousand horror stories of how their policies have wrought dreadful damage.  They ignored these accounts from their own victims.  Brushed them aside with not a single mention.  At the tribunal, as part of my evidence, I gave all 16 members of the council a printed book with 802 accounts of abuse resulting from one-on-one interviews with probing sexually explicit questions.  No thank you was uttered.  No compassion for the victims was spoken.  Instead they chose to kick the whistle blower out.

4 Observations

One

By excommunicating the whistle blower the apostles have chosen to protect themselves and throw the bishops under the bus. They have shown a complete disregard for the reputations of the local congregational leaders. 

For too long, Mormon children have been the collateral damage of one-on-one meetings with Mormon bishops.  That is going to be reversed.  The values of society are changing…for the better.  MORMON BISHOPS are going to become the collateral damage rather than the children.  Many parents and children are not going to stand for this any long.  I am now aware of 3 interviews between minors and bishops that have been recorded. 

I just received the following message about a recent bishop’s interview:  “My 15 year old daughter had a bishops interview and he asked her if she views pornography. My daughter said “No.” Then the bishop asked her ‘What would you do if your friends walked up to you and tried to show you pornography?’  In what sick fantasy world does this bishop think my daughter needs to answer his questions about a fictional scenario in which teenage girls watch porn together?!  Worthlessness interviews are insane & need to stop.  She recorded her interview, but I think it might against the law to do that without both parties permission. I will post it if I’m wrong.”

Many people are fed up.  Teenagers have cell phones.  Before I entered last Sunday’s tribunal, my cell phone was confiscated to prevent a recording.  In addition, I was forced to sign a non-record agreement on penalty of being barred from my own hearing.  Going forward the Church will not be able to prevent teenagers from recording masturbation interviews.  Bishops & bishop counselors…I encourage & warn you…do not take children all alone behind closed doors.  Do not discuss sex.  From now on, every time you do, you risk your reputation and livelihood.

Two

In Massachussetts, if you call the child abuse hotline and tell them that a man is taking a kid in private and asking them probing sexual questions about their masturbation, pornography and sexual activities – they would start an investigation.

If you told them it was a catholic priest who was doing it – they would be even more interested in investigating it.

If you told them it was a Mormon Bishop who was doing it – they would say it makes no difference.

In 18 states, including Utah, Idaho and Arizona, all citizens are mandated reporters when they become aware of child abuse.  What the church subjects our children to is abusive. When more parents start waking up to that fact – people are going to start reporting the local bishops for conducting these interviews and state authorities will take action. 

Bishops be warned, people are now watching.  Children are now recording.  Your livelihoods and reputations are at risk.  My excommunication is a clear demonstration that the church is not serious about child safety and they certainly don’t give a damn about your safety.  Nope.  You are on your own.  When bishops start being reported to the child abuse hotline, that bishop’s reputation will be toast & it will tarnish the reputation of all bishops.  YOU will become the collateral damage of a policy that protects no one; not you, not our children.

Three

Some people claim that what Mormons allow to be done to their children doesn’t really affect the general society outside of the Mormon Church. That’s a bogus claim.  When our children die by suicide, the effects ripple through other children’s lives.  When Mormon children are shamed into self-hatred they often start making terrible decisions, turning to alcohol, drugs, disastrous marriages, divorce.  A dysfunctional self-loathing youth becoming a dysfunctional self-loathing adult.  Our practice has put many kids in a shame cycle that causes their self-worth to spiral lower and lower, drowning them in anxiety and desperation. This is very costly to the welfare of our entire society.

Four

I have been excommunicated from the Church. But, they have no power to excommunicate me from the cause of protecting children and promoting the healing of my friends.  There are tens of thousands of us who are actively involved in the movement to protect LDS Children.  I now direct my words to the victims and survivors of Mormon worthiness interviews.  We see you.  We hear you.  We are sorry for what happened to you.  It was wrong.  Very wrong.  We know you were horribly hurt.  You were alone.  You were a mere child.  Today we boldly stand up and speak up to give your child-self a voice.  Thank you for allowing me and all of us to be a part of your healing journey.  Thank you for locking arms with me and so many others in daring to face down the Mormon Church in order to protect today’s children.

For our children’s sake, this whistle blower is not going to stop roaring.

36 thoughts on “Excommunication News Conference”

  2. Behind you all the way. I have already been excommunicated! It doesn’t hurt. I am busy collecting and transcribing recordings as is NewNameNoah. Hope this is being monitored. Bishops are going to pay a price for worthiness questions. “You won’t mind if we record this conversation, will you?” It would be so easy for the Church to do the recording archiving of these interviews and avoid a multi million dollar problem. Let the missionaries monitor their superiors. It would be great for testimony building and any that had been molested as children in any way would really pay attention.

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  3. I would stand up and cheer, clapping, if I was there in person. This is so moving, so full of power and truth, it gives me much courage to fight and hang on! Thank you for your love, for hearing us, finally someone hearing us, thank you for your courage, and thank you for your roar!!!!!

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  4. Dear Sam Young,, You are a true Patriot, your efforts are not in vain, there are thousands of LDS parents that have now “ had their eyes opened “ because of you and your relentless determination to
    “ Protect our LDS Children”.
    I am a grandfather of seven children , I thank you Sam with all of my heart for what you are doing.
    “ I Stand with Sam , the Patriot for protecting our little ones against the wrongness of the leadership of the LDS Church. Val

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  5. Dear Sam,

    Deep congratulations on your Graduation courtesy of The Brethren.

    They do not have much patience with courageous people like Sam Young who think your own thoughts and boldly claim your natural right to decide for yourself what is right and what is wrong.

    You simply outgrew the Church you inherited.

    Well done!

    You have taught more people by your own example what it means to live the teachings of Jesus … than all of the Conference Talks every spoken and all of the Deseret Books ever published.

    By their fruits ye shall know them.

    The Brethren have acted to Protect the Church … while Sam Young has acted to Protect LDS Children.

    For your own mental, emotional, spiritual, financial and fashion health, I hope you will fully embrace and reclaim your Sundays and your 10% and your right to choose your own underwear … and your right to keep disclosure of what happens in (or out of) your underwear fully confidential.

    And may more and more LDS Children be taught that the ONLY people with a good reason to know anything about their sexual awakenings are … their own parents.

    And may more and more LDS Parents … parent-themselves-up … and stop letting a dangerous institution raise your kids.

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  6. You are simply amazing. I admire your strength and humility. I admire your forgiveness toward the stake president and the others that had to be part of your tribunal. Most of all, I admire your motivation to stand and take on Goliath. The best thing to come from all this is now they hold no further power over you, and your voice is much louder now. It is time this stops. Much love,Kris Kris Cantil Owner / Investigator / Consultant Kane Consulting Inc.UT License # G101789      Nevada Lic: 2258B   801-301-0961 www.kaneconsultinginc.netkris_pi@yahoo.com

     An injustice committed against one man, threatens us all. -Bill Kurtis

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    From: Tocubit Is Invisible’s Cubit To: kris_pi@yahoo.com Sent: Friday, September 21, 2018 7:55 PM Subject: [New post] Excommunication News Conference #yiv9335587723 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv9335587723 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv9335587723 a.yiv9335587723primaryactionlink:link, #yiv9335587723 a.yiv9335587723primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv9335587723 a.yiv9335587723primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv9335587723 a.yiv9335587723primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv9335587723 WordPress.com | Sam Young posted: “On Sunday, September 16, I stood before 5 TV news cameras and 250 supporters in the shadow of the Salt Lake Temple.  A few days before, the verdict of my disciplinary council had been delivered to me in a sealed envelope.  On this occasion I opened the le” | |

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  7. “They tell us, sir, that we are weak; unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger?”—Patrick Henry One thing I believe from my experience. Forget prayer. If you want to get something done, now is the time! Wait for no one. We are on our own to get this right!

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  8. I am moved to tears and grateful that you are willing to speak out. My heart hurts for the children including my own that have been hurt to badly by this policy and the seeming power it gives to men and takes from women and children. Many of us struggle with such fear from our own experiences in the church we feel paralyzed to move or open our moths to speak. Seeing someone unafraid to speak gives all of us power to begin to speak of our experiences and allows healing on so many levels! Thank you.

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  9. If this hasn’t been addressed, we should discuss how to get the word to teens about what to do if a bishop tries to confiscate their cell phones before or during interviews. I think a plan of some kind is going to be critical.

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  10. I have never been and never will (for this reason among others) be LDS. But I care about the welfare of children! I care about ending institutional child abuse! I stand with Sam and everybody who is working to end this vile, evil interview policy. I will be very interested to see what is next – one idea I saw floated online was a letter to be sent to ALL the bishops explaining exactly how they are putting themselves in such legal hot water, make it be from their perspective. You’d think saying “this hurts children” would be enough, but there’s nothing wrong with a multi-pronged approach.

    You’re far better than they’ve shown they deserve, Sam. They might think they’re better than you but couldn’t be more wrong. They showed their true colors, and the colors are ghastly.

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  11. Hi Sam,

    Fellow ex, I am also from Texas,

    I congratulate you for your courage. I am a former member, I remember when I had a calling in one of the many BYU wards, some of the interviews done to some of the young men and women felt so uncomfortable. What if I had to ask those questions one on one to a young men or a young woman in a job or just individually? Probably I would be in jail, so I agree, those are very unsettling and unnecessary questions..

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  12. I’m Catholic, not Mormon. Different churches, same problems. My grandfather tackled a priest. You did well. I am sorry your fidelity to the Mormon faith is not recognized.

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  13. Just read your article on CNN. Way to expose that crap. Call me naive, but isn’t Mormonism chock full of weird sexual things though? Like I hear when you get married they bless your wife’s boobs in the temple by touching them. I had a buddy who couldn’t jack off at all in high school cause he knew he would be asked those purity questions by some crusty old dude. I seriously don’t know how you’d survive high school as a guy with no release. Creepy shiz going on in that religion keep up the good work of exposing it. Every religion should be able to stand up to public scrutiny. Otherwise how do you grow the base???

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  14. Hi Sam. I’m a former Episcopalian, who faced a very similar situation with my priest, Bob Malm, rector of Grace Episcopal in Alexandria VA, after I complained to the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia about his conduct. What’s interested is that the LDS church at least offers a sham appeal–in my case, my situation was entirely the rector’s personal doing.

    I applaud your efforts and hope you will stand strong.

    Blessings,

    Eric Bonetti

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  15. Sam, I grew up in Utah in the church and had similarly disturbing experiences that you are trying to expose and shut down. Thank you for all you are doing on behalf of children! I believe that you are one of many who are making this world a little better and safer, and taking us forward to a future where ALL will be respected as they deserve. Yes, the Renaissance is considered history, but in many pockets of society, we are still living in the Dark Ages, with many unable to defend themselves. A recent study in England showed that a significant number of Buddhist Monks were prone to abusing children and adults alike. So it doesn’t matter which religion, the fact that all religions are based on a social power structure gives those with more power influence over those who are younger and weaker. And many times, this influence can be used for dark and twisted purposes that the original teachings or philosophy would have abhorred. So, again, thank you for taking us into the light and making this world a better place. You are a good man, sir!

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  16. The reality is that the apostates continue to voice but their voice becomes further and further distant as time grinds along until the next generatiin comes and has no clue who that person was or what their spill was all about. It just passes as an insignificant snag and quickly forgotten. If one wants to be remembered they actually have to create change and do it positively. John Dehlin is the perfect example of wasting away into insigificance. My daughter in her rising generation approaching her teen years has no clue who John Dehlin is. And, I will bet that ten years from now no one will remember Sam Young either. Its a mere moment under the spotlight and tgen the light fades and people move on ti the next attraction.

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      1. I’d like to call on those of us who support Sam to flood the Church headquarters and the top 15 with letters. These can outline our concerns regarding both the damage outlined in the 800+ stories as well as our concerns regarding Sam’s excommunication for speaking out in good faith. Sam has done a great work and deserves to know that the rest of us will continue to speak up and not let his work die.

        For those afraid to use their names, write an anonymous letter, and then explain the reasons for anonymity. You could even point out how inappropriate it is that members are made to fear using their own names while voicing real concerns.

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    2. Rob,

      The majority of TBMs already live in a Cartoon Bubble and never venture away from the Training Wheels Kiddy Routes mapped out for them by The Brethren – who do a remarkable job of instilling FEAR OF INFORMATION that’s not Church-approved. Most still have not heard of John Dehlin or Sam Young. You only need an 8-year old mentality and a proclivity for blindly following instructions to do just fine in the Mormon Church.

      John Dehlin is going strong, as is Sam Young. They will both continue as True, Authentic Leaders of those who have graduated from Korrelated Kolobian Kindergarten where the thinking has been done, and the pathway ahead is all mapped out for you in advance.

      In reality, it’s not a pathway at all … unless you wanna call a never-ending circle of repetition a pathway.

      If you get tired of the Crushing Boredom of the TBM Turn-The-Crank-One-More-Time Treadmill, there is an easy solution and alternative to brushing up on Faith and Repentance and Tithing again … just in case you missed something the first two or three thousand times you’ve reviewed the First Principles.

      Instead of spending 3 hours enduring yet another mind-numbing bore-a-thon in Church next Sunday, read the CES Letter instead. After just three hours, your Testimony will be shredded like coleslaw and you will be Free At Last!

      YOU DO HAVE OPTIONS. WHAT IF SOME OF YOUR OPTIONS DO NOT REALLY LEAD YOU STRAIGHT TO DEBAUCHERY, DESTRUCTION AND ETERNAL DAMNATION?

      WHAT IF THAT, ROB?

      IF YOU CHOOSE WISELY, THE “FREE” AGENCY THAT CURRENTLY IS COSTING YOU TEN PERCENT OFF THE TOP WILL SUDDENLY BECOME LITERALLY FREE aka NO EXTRA CHARGE.

      NOT ONLY NOT ONLY THAT, BUT WHAT IF YOU ALSO END UP FINDING YOURSELF DELICIOUSLY CUT LOOSE AND SET FREE TO DISCOVER WHO YOU REALLY ARE, AS OPPOSED TO WHO THE BRETHREN HAVE PAINTED YOU TO IMPERSONATE TO FULFILL … WHOSE DREAM, ROB?

      WHOSE DREAM ARE YOU FULFILLING?

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  17. Gary, I’ve lived on both sides of the track. I spent ten years over on your side. I thought I had found freedom. I was wrong, very wrong. I came back because I needed to be free.
    I have read the CES letter and all of the other diatribes out there. They don’t phase me, I was already over in that camp before and it is filled with lies, deceit and pain.
    I have witnessed miracles, have talked with angels, have seen God. My testimony is strong. The Brethren are doing the Lord’s will. Their wisdom surpasseth all.
    Agency is a precious gift. Agency however, is only attained through obedience. Trust me, I used to once be over on your side of the tracks. I did drugs, drank alcohol, smoked, participated in a myriad of immoral acts. It all chained me down, destroyed my agency. Like I said, I am now free, I have my mind and health back. But most of all I have peace which is greatest of all. If I could have done anything different I wish I could have had a better relationship with my priesthood leadership and worked out my gross sins with them then. It could of saved ten years of spiritual captivity. It is precisely why it’s important for bishops to have personal and real relationships with the youth. It’s why private interviews with bishops are so important.
    I am a young Men’s president in my ward. My older brother is our bishop. I have witnessed firsthand the power of the priesthood in helping many a youth make a course correction. We are the good side. We are the ones helping our youth and protecting them from the wolves out there seeking to destroy their agency.

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    1. Hello, Robert,

      Wow! I truly appreciate the openness and authenticity of your response. You are bringing to light a very important facet of this conversation that’s not been discussed very much … if at all.

      My perspective on THC … the human condition … is that all of us are in the process of navigating our own, personal trajectory along the Plan of Eternal Progression. We each have chosen a unique and tailor-made PlayBook for each incarnation on Planet Earth … what some have called “the toughest school in the Universe.”

      Your personal experience is a data point in support of that “tough school” assessment. You have endured some very tough lessons, which I do appreciate your sharing with us.

      With no intent right now to judge you, Robert, and making an effort to respect you and your choices, let me just observe that we humans can certainly need varying levels of external structure to help us maintain our choices and behaviors within non-self-destructive and non-destructive-to-others bounds.

      From what you shared, it is very apparent that you are benefiting personally and significantly from the external “moral authority” the Church proactively administers to its membership. I feel I must support your choices made in the aftermath of painful consequences you experienced while temporarily disconnected from the “Iron Rod” so to speak.

      There’s no way I know of to say the following without sounding judgmental, but I will do my best.

      We humans (while on Earth) aka Spirit Beings (between lives) are all at different stages of progression and Spiritual Maturation. Some of us are young souls without much experience under our belts yet, while others are way further along and really don’t have much more to learn from more THC incarnations. I would characterize Jesus Christ as a “spiritual genius” along that continuum of progression.

      So … as I see it … the Church certainly can be the right place for the right people at the right time. That would be the time when an external system of behavior controls is needed, whether or not it’s appreciated.

      Another scenario would be for those who have reached the point where external “moral authority” has become a limitation or a prison aka time to graduate. At that point in a PlayBook, the next lesson could be about personal autonomy and the claiming of what I call self-authority. Time to let go of the “Iron Rod” and navigate on your own recognizance so to speak. At that point, The Brethren become jail-masters instead of liberators … as in your case.

      I do not expect you to resonate with any of what I just wrote, Robert, which is understandable and expected. I am writing more for the wider audience and to help all of us (including me) not be blind to the reality that the Mormon Church can be … and is indeed … the right place at the right time for the right people.

      And when that stops being the case … then it’s time to graduate. Mormon doctrine itself has proclaimed that the time will come when the Church is no longer necessary and will go away. They forgot to mention that that time can (and does) happen DURING THIS LIFETIME for many individuals.

      This is not a ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL Universe, Robert … contrary to what The Brethren teach.

      On some level, this is why The Brethren had to eject Sam. He simply outgrew them.

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  18. Sam,
    Has it ever occurred to you that if you had things your way that our children would be led into further spiritual decay? You want to make sexual purity a hiss and a byword. Your alternative gives a green light for our youth to do whatever pleases them, tell them it’s okay, they are just doing what’s natural and there should be no shame in that. We already have parents who overwhelmingly will not discuss sexual purity with their children and you want to make it so that leadership doesn’t talk to them either. What’s left? Public schools and the internet. That’s your answer?

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    1. Robert,

      I don’t know how Sam will respond … but I am pretty good at reading his mind. (You have no way to know just how close Sam and I resonate with each other. One day I hope to discover the root cause reason for our surprising… if not stunning … degree of mutual resonance.)

      Sam has no desire for LDS kids to careen into sexual debauchery and self-destruction. Sam complete supports and acknowledges the need for quality parenting and guidance by spiritually mature mothers, fathers, mentors and leader figures in kids’ lives.

      What Sam IS saying is: 1) The act of Masturbation … per se … is NOT a moral sin or spiritually harmful or self-destructive whatsoever; 2) Bishops should NOT teach kids that Masturbation makes them unworthy and in need of abstinence and repentance; 3) No Bishop should EVER sequester a kid alone in his office and discuss the kid’s sexual behavior. That practice is dangerous and HARMFUL to the kids (it is a definition of GROOMING behavior) … plus it puts the Bishop at extreme risk and liability … never mind the sex-dhaming and self-loathing that so easily happens as a consequence of Bishop interviews.

      Kids can be educated about sex in group scenarios. Ideally, parents should be the educators and mentors. In group settings, however, kids can be taught that kids having sex with each other is dangerous, high-risk behavior that can ruin your life for a few seconds of pleasure. Not a good idea.

      Kids can also be taught that Masturbation is OK … done discretely and not excessively. Masturbating instead of going to school or instead of doing your homework is probably poor judgment with obvious consequences.

      Kids should also be taught that they will not go to hell if they see a picture of a bare boobie or images people doing sex. They will see it anyway, so shaming kids for the inevitable is kid abuse. Teaching kids that it’s natural to be curious about how humans reproduce and what human bodies look like … but just don’t get yourself addicted to porn. Bad idea to become addicted to ANYTHING … including going to the temple twice a week for the rest of your life. (If you do THAT, get help!)

      Robert, demonizing Masturbation and Porn only makes it MORE enticing and MORE attractive to kids (and adults). The Brethren make Masturbation and Porn into a PROBLEM, and thereby MAKE THE PROBLEM WAY WORSE compared to how they could diffuse the whole paradigm attitudes about human sexuality, chill out, and allow everyone to relax and put it all into some kind of rational, balanced, healthy perspective.

      SHAMING KIDS AND ADULTS ABOUT THEIR SEXUALITY IS NEVER THE RIGHT ANSWER AND ONLY MAKES EVERYTHING WORSE … NOT BETTER.

      Sam may not agree with EVERYTHING I wrote, but he will resonate with some of it.

      What The Brethren teach about human sexuality is not helpful … except maybe in extreme cases where individuals have no internally motivated self-control. Even in those cases, better guidance is available and much needed.

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    2. Hi Robert, You misunderstand my cause. I don’t want to give the children a green light to do whatever pleases them. I want go give a red light to sexually explicit questions behind closed. Chastity is an important issue. We should teach it, encourage it. That can be done without the private interrogations that we subject our children to.

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  19. What is the LDS (not ex- mormons view) purpose of the LDS bishop’s interview as it relates to the LDS youth?
    I would say its to guide, encourage, teach, and correct….among many other things. If a LDS young man or woman has experienced sexual intimacy then hopefully they are talking to their parents. I’m guessing at least half of those kids do so, same as anyone who is commenting on this blog when they were young. They are also taught at home and church to attempt “chastity” (a very mormon term) or as others would call it, “wait till they are older”. Having sexual experiences that run counter to what they have been taught and/or believe then causes internal conflict and one then seeks resolution. They are taught to discuss this conflict with the bishop who can then do what I mentioned above (guide, encourage, teach, and correct…).Proactively talking to their bishop (as it is with their parents) is challenging so bishops then ask very simple questions to assist in the “outing” of the conflict.

    Are most people proposing that these youth or at least the 50+% of them who won’t talk to their parents and are experiencing this moral conflict should self sooth? or work it our with their infantile understanding of human sexuality? What if they have a belief that they can do better and want to and want to grow closer to deity and this moral conflict hurts them from doing so? Are they to walk that process alone?

    Look at any anti smoking ad. Or underage drinking. They attach shame and ugliness to the practice. Very overt and bold approaches to thwart that type of behavior. Same with texting while driving, where words like “stupid” and “dumb” are used to label those that practice those dangerous habits. Is shame and ugliness sometimes what a young person will feel when they engage in sexual practice? YES! If they go and talk to their bishop and he asks if they have any challenges with pre-adult sex and they yes and explain why, will he attack them and call them dumb and stupid? NO!! They will walk out feeling guided, encouraged, taught and corrected. If they don’t have any problems and they are asked if they have any challenges with trying to be chaste, then they say no and then the bishop can focus on guiding, encouraging, teaching them.

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  20. BTW, I really agree with Gary’s last comment. The church can do better in discussing sexuality, porn use and the often associated masturbation. And I’ve witnessed it more and more in group environments. But that can be done in a one on one environment with a bishop as well and ONLY when the adolescent involvement in any of those practices is taking a turn for the worse and/or they are feeling (and all too often) intense guilt. That is where a good bishop can do so much to teach, correct and reinforce the good kids they are. This conversation is getting way too radical in its depictions of horny bishops getting aroused while grooming teens for abuse. Unfortunately in today’s climate, we can have any opinion we want as long as we are “protecting the children”, therefore we must be on the right side. That’s a cheap shot and hijacking what otherwise could be progressive dialogue for good that still protects the children and provides their parents and mentors in their life opportunities to have a positive influence to seek God.

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  21. Sam,
    An interview is a means for people to make amends and correct bad behavior. We live in a world where we treat our youth like snowflakes, as if we can’t say anything that might hurt their own understanding of what the world has taught them. Nonsense. Our youth are exposed to real sexual explicity in the real world. In school, on the TV, on the internet, with their friends, etc. It’s really bad. Discussing pornography or an addiction to an immoral behavior isn’t abuse. I’m curious- why aren’t you campaigning against the public school system that allows such sexual persersive language in it’s halls?

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    1. Interesting enough, I never asked any question beyond “Do you live the law of chastity.” If I were to do it over again, that question would never escape my lips. All the youth and baptismal interviews were conducted all alone behind closed doors with a child. I’d never to that again either.

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  23. Sam that’s cool if you want people to think that you never participated in the activity you now challenge ….but you did ask the questions….and you did ask more than law of chastity…… and you know it too.

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    1. You bring up a good point. By taking children all alone behind closed doors, the bishops have no real defense when accused of wrong doings behind those closed doors.

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  24. Brother Young, I am really sorry to hear you are going through this, I am a member and have been for over 20 yrs, and now live in El Salvador Central America, I am a father of 6 beautiful girls and 1 boy, and I would do anything to protect my kids, I congratulate you for standing up and speaking up to protect our children, I will pray for you and your beautiful family, we need more men like you that will protect.
    I wish I had the honor of meeting you, as I read everything you have gone through and the list of questions asked to the youth, makes me more aware and will keep that in mind and will be present for my kids interviews, I was part of the Bishopric as 1st counselor a few yrs ago until my marriage fell apart, due to infedilities on her behalf but I have kept strong because as you my eternal life is very important, you are doing the right thing on steping up for your rights, my word of advice to you is that even though you have been adviced not to pray in public or in church, this does not take away from you the communication you and our Lord should have, God is a loving father, and will see the sacrifices you are making to protect the innocent.
    May our Lord Jesus Christ protect you and your beautiful family, my beloved bother, and hugs from all the way in El Salvador.

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    1. Hi Medardo. Thanks for your amazing words of support. I have fond feelings for the country and people of El Salvador. A full year of my mission for the church was spent in your country. A great experience.

      Love and best wishes, Sam

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